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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?



 
 
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  #11  
Old August 28th 06, 07:03 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Pauline
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 554
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

Well, I concur with some of the other suggestions. If you live in an area
that has department stores, just make a phone call & ask if you can get a
complimentary make up consultation with one of their consultants. Sometimes
a particular make-up company will have a special, but most often, even if
there isn't a special going on, one of the consultants will happily do it
for you. And there shouldn't be any charge for it. They are hopeful that
you'll spend some money, so it's in their best interests. Most of the make
up consultants in department stores are employed by the manufacturer, not
the department store. And don't feel you have to buy everything or anything
from them. I always tell them I need to wear it for the rest of the day to
see if my skin reacts to anything - which is true. If the new product
"wears" well, then I go back & buy it. I don't wear a lot of make up -
mostly the basics, unless I'm really dressing up. Every few years, if I
feel my look is getting a little stale, I do go to get a make-over at the
make-up counters in the store. It always gives me a little lift & makes me
try new techniques or colors. Whatever you do, don't let them over do you -
you won't feel natural. Years ago, I had a makeover & left the store &
drove straight home to wash it all off. I looked like a stage actor!!

Regarding hair - not my strength either - but I try to stay with a fairly
"simple" hairstyle, while still looking stylish. I've always threatened to
move my current hairstylist into my house with me, so they can fix my hair
in the morning. Do as others have suggested - if you see a hairstyle you
like, ask someone where they get their hair done. Take into consideration
if you have fine hair, curly hair, coarse hair, etc. because someone that
has a different texture of hair from yours will end up with a different look
than you. You can also "interview" potential hairstylists to see if you
think you will work well together. See what they suggest & explain how it's
a weak area for you, so it needs to be doable for YOU. Sometimes it takes a
few visits for your hairstylist & you to get to a good spot.

I also recommend seeing a dermatologist if your skin is breaking out. Don't
try to "fix" it yourself. You need to see a professional.

If you're worried about your weight - try to dress in a way that helps to
camoflage the areas you're most concerned about. This is another area where
a good sales person can help you. And remember - you can always return
anything you buy that you have buyers remorse after you get home & try it on
again. You can also return make-up - even to drug stores. (It looked
different when I got it home - it made me break out - it creased in my
eyelids, etc.)

Good luck - you sound like you need a lift & taking it one step at a time
will really help you to feel better about your appearance. Keep us posted!

Pauline
"Tricia" wrote in message
ups.com...
No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on
my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let
me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and
hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important)
things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had
*great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and
self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it
means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I
don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot.

I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN
in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my
teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting
divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother,
living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst
issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in
my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in
some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role
models for what I'm facing now in any regard.

Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make
up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or
tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more
knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail --
it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to
do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby
tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to
save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago
at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine",
and "done up", I friggin' suck.

Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me
and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part,
I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are
supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it,
frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers)
when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or
three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That
was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from
some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got
through it okay.

I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is
the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and
unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than
my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or
incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues
resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either).

Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out
how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it
when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening
with my husband or to a wedding, etc.

Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women
seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came
from...where did you learn it?

Pondering,
Tricia



Ads
  #12  
Old August 28th 06, 08:17 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 23
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

During my teen years I had other things on my mind, so I did not delve
into makeup and fancy hairdos. Later I did so and after trying a
number of things found that makeup did not work on me at all due to a
skin condition. My extremely fine hair is impossible for even
beauticians to handle, so I have a simple hair style. I do keep
myself presentable in every other way and I think that lack of makeup
and fancy hair styles have NOT stopped me from getting any jobs.

If you look at many women who accomplished much, you will often find
that they have simple hair styles that require minimal care. They are
busy with greater issues.

Bev in TX

Tricia wrote:
.... portions snipped
I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is
the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and
unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than
my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or
incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues
resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either).



Pondering,
Tricia


  #13  
Old August 28th 06, 08:39 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Pat in Virginia
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 3,644
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" ratherthan a "girl"?

Tricia:
Interesting topic! I like how helpful
and kind everyone has been with this.

As Polly said, first impressions are
important. I see so many people with
'who cares' hair! If your pony tail is
too fly-away, maybe you need a nice bob.
That is generally a neat and
professional look. Pony tails and head
bands will not impress the interviewers.
My hair is straight and not very heavy.
It has nice sheen though. For me, the
best look is either a bob or a very
short cut, both low maintenance styles.
This means my hair is neat, and shows
the sheen to nice advantage. (AND, I
save time for quilting!!)

For now, do not worry about the make up
and cosmetics. You need to learn good
SKIN CARE! The Mary Kay consultants do
this quite well; experienced ones do it
best, of course. Go on line and look for
a "Director" who will have that
experience. (I DID sell MK at one time,
but NOT now, so NAYY, I just like the MK
Skin Care.) Once you get a handle on
Skin Care, you can look into a light
foundation, a dash of lipstick soft
blush, and some mascara. Go for a
polished and natural look.

Garments affect your look, regardless of
weight or body type. Get to know a sharp
sales person in a store such as Dress
Barn, Macy's, etc. NAYY! Find one who
has build similar to you and who looks
sharp. Ask her to help you put together
one interview ensemble.

HTH. Be sure to take some Before and
After photos. PAT
  #14  
Old August 28th 06, 08:53 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Nancy in NS
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 350
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

On 28 Aug 2006 08:12:24 -0700, "Tricia"
wrote:

...I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and
hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important)
things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread.


The first time I paid much attention to things like hair and
makeup was after the birth of my younger daughter. Feeling
fat, frumpy and long overdue for a change of hairstyle, I
made an appt at a hair salon that I had never used before,
sat in the chair, and said, "Make me beautiful." No
kidding! That elicited a few laughs, but when they knew I
was truly seeking some guidance, the stylist seemed to know
exactly what to do. She consulted with a couple of the
other stylists and we ended up getting rid about 8" of hair
and giving me a short, layered style that not only took
*years* off the way I looked AND felt, but was so easy to
look after with a new baby.

While I was there, I had eyebrows waxed for the first time,
someone showed me how to apply natural-looking makeup, and I
had a manicure -- something I'd never splurged on before.
The total tally for the excursion was close to $100, but I
walked out of there feeling like a million bucks. :-)

Nancy in NS
http://community.webshots.com/user/loves2quilt
  #15  
Old August 28th 06, 09:18 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Sherry Starr
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 129
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

I agree with Polly. An employer is not going to hire someone who gives the
appearance they don't care about the way they look. You can go to the
cosmetic counter at any department store, and they will be happy to help
you. They will show you how to apply the makeup. I use Clinique, and I get
a free face makeup several times a year. Ask someone to give you the name
of their hair stylist. Also, go to a gym, YWCA, or local recreation group
and see if there are some exercise classes you can take. You can also
change the way you eat. Cut your portions down, don't eat between meals.
If you need a snack, eat a small apple or something like that. First
impressions are everything. You have to give the impression that you care
about your appearance.

Sherry Starr

"Tricia" wrote in message
ups.com...
No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on
my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let
me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and
hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important)
things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had
*great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and
self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it
means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I
don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot.

I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN
in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my
teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting
divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother,
living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst
issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in
my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in
some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role
models for what I'm facing now in any regard.

Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make
up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or
tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more
knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail --
it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to
do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby
tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to
save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago
at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine",
and "done up", I friggin' suck.

Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me
and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part,
I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are
supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it,
frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers)
when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or
three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That
was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from
some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got
through it okay.

I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is
the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and
unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than
my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or
incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues
resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either).

Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out
how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it
when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening
with my husband or to a wedding, etc.

Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women
seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came
from...where did you learn it?

Pondering,
Tricia



  #16  
Old August 28th 06, 09:25 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Butterflywings
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,023
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

Can't wear make-up, can't do 'beauty shops', and my hair is just as straight
as it can be. Can 'do' short hair and when my hands can hold it up I will
blow dry 'height' into it. Keeping this in mind I took a class on 'finding a
new job at your age for both sexes. There were 5 guys and 3 gals.

The last day of class each of us had to write ONE sentence about everyone in
the class. My 'comments' ran the gamut of:
From the guys
"I couldn't wait to "see" what you were going to wear You have the 'nicest
wardrobe' I have ever seen Do you go to Denver to do your clothes
shopping?"(lived on the Western Slope of CO at the time) .

Gals were mostly: You seem to be very artistic--- type of comments.

I made my clothes and they fit...didn't wear makeup and my hair was always
clean and naturally 'shiny'.

In other words you never know what others 'see' when you walk into the room

I can't give other advice but hope this helps somewhat.

Good luck in your job hunt. Let us know what you find.

Butterfly (no, I was NOT allowed to wear makeup in HS so I learned in
college)

"Tricia" wrote in message
ups.com...
No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on
my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let
me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and
hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important)
things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had
*great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and
self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it
means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I
don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot.

I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN
in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my
teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting
divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother,
living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst
issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in
my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in
some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role
models for what I'm facing now in any regard.

Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make
up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or
tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more
knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail --
it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to
do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby
tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to
save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago
at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine",
and "done up", I friggin' suck.

Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me
and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part,
I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are
supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it,
frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers)
when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or
three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That
was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from
some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got
through it okay.

I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is
the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and
unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than
my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or
incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues
resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either).

Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out
how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it
when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening
with my husband or to a wedding, etc.

Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women
seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came
from...where did you learn it?

Pondering,
Tricia



  #17  
Old August 28th 06, 09:49 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Sandy Ellison Sandy Ellison is offline
Banned
 
First recorded activity by CraftBanter: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,002
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to LOOK LIKE a"woman" rather than a "girl"?

Howdy!

[[[[[Tricia]]]]]

My mom thinks "make-up" is her lipstick and maybe a stroke of that
turquoise eyeshadow that was so popular in the early 1970s. When she
sees me w/ a blend of eyeshadow and/or a touch --just a touch-- of
blusher on my face-- she calls me an ugly name. I got over that years
ago; no need to carry her baggage w/ me, right?
So I didn't grow up doing the girly-girly toilette routine, either.
Lucky for me, long, straight, shiny hair was THE trend in my teens.
However, in my mid-twenties it was way past time to ditch the
ponytails and do something about my "complexion."
Went to a local lady's wear shop, asked about "nice clothes",
got fitted for the "correct support garments" g, and then swallowed
my embarrassment and said, "Any advice on make-up?"
Since then I've worn an oil-free base foundation, light dusting of
loose powder, and a bit of color on my eyes, and try to keep some
lip color to stay on. G The light layer of foundation and powder
really helps keep the oil under control, cuts down on the zits,
and makes me look like I at least tried to fit into the "normal"
for grown-up American women. g

Tricia, STOP getting your hair permed. Very few women look good w/
permed hair; so many just go w/ that crinkly look, not styling that perm,
and that looks worse than flat, straight hair. A nice layered cut
puts some bounce in your hair, and in your step: when you like your hair
you feel better. Color it any way you please; changing hair color is
easy, fun, and much healthier than those damned perms!

Got a shopping mall near you? The gals (mostly women) at the make-up
counters enjoy giving lessons in how to best use their products,
for YOUR skin, how to make you look good.
One of my best friends works for Dior at a local Dillard's Dept. store.
She's gorgeous at age 55, loves make-up (always has) and got the job when
she got divorced 8 yrs. ago; she's quite a success.
Part of her success in selling her products is that she knows How To:
how to go w/ a light, day look, how to go w/ more color or deeper shades for
glamour, how to play up eyes, make a fuller mouth, how to choose the right
color of foundation.
That's what the make-up sellers are trained to do. I've gone to her
special make-up sales and had a complete "do" to increase her sales
numbers, tho' I seldom buy anything. I'm just not spending that much
money on make-up. Walgreens, CVS, grocery stores supply most of what
I prefer, oil-free, light-weight, throw=out-the-leftovers make-up.
Mary Kay: can't wear the stuff, myself; haven't agreed w/ the 3
salesladies at the "parties" I attended: I refuse to wear pink make-up.
I attend these parties for good friends; "This is a party?
You better have good refreshments!" g
My Avon lady keeps me supplied w/ good moisturizers and other
products that keep my complexion clear(er).
Go to an "Expert" and find the right products for yourself, then
go to a shop that sells something similar for a more reasonable price
that fits your budget.
IF your complexion is driving you crazy, see your doctor. You can
get a prescription that helps your skin from the inside out. My skin
has been noticeably clearer since I gave up drinking soda pop in March.

You need to feel better about the way you look. This is a place to
start. And to feel better about yourself: give up the old crap
from the way you were raised. You don't live w/ those people any more;
move on!
Being overweight: my mom never passes up a chance to mention it.
She's not, never has been; I take after my dad's side of the family,
tall & "BIG", or short & round. No one force feeds me. I've proved to
myself I can lose weight. Most people can. It's the obsessing about
it that makes me sick. (Can't watch Oprah anymore, she's all about her
body image! Get the fu## over it!)
My tall, slender older brother said to me a few years ago,
"Mom always makes smartass cracks about your weight;
how can you stand it?" I said, "Dave, so I'm fat and she's a bitch.
The thing is, I can lose weight." VBG
Being overweight shouldn't hold you back.

One of the oddest jobs I ever had was working at a "temp agency",
interviewing prospective employees and sending them on job interviews.
**Meaning NO offense** : I learned that women here in/from Texas take
more care for how they look in public, than do women "up north"
like my hometown in n.Illinois. The hardest part of the job was
getting the "transports" (women who moved to Texas from the
central northern part of the U.S.) to "Fix yourself up!" before
going on an interview. "Want a professional job? Look professional."
If this is really what's bugging you, it's easy to "fix" right now.

To bring this On Topic (Quilting): I knew that my grands and great-grands,
aunts and mothers, all quilted. But I didn't see them quilt. I saw my
mom do embroidery, quilt top piecing, all kinds of handcrafts, but I didn't
grow up w/ anyone showing me How To Quilt. I learned because I wanted
to quilt. And now I'm pretty good at it. And I look presentable at the
Big Functions we must attend in Dallas or Ft.Worth, and my husband's
boss never hesitates to give me The Billionaire Kiss at the annual
Christmas party. VBG I must be doing something right w/
clothes and make-up. ;-D

Good luck, Sweetie!

Ragmop/Sandy--who still doesn't "get" that eyelash curling thing,
but I no longer care... g



On 8/28/06 10:12 AM, in article
, "Tricia"
wrote:

No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on
my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let
me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and
hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important)
things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had
*great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and
self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it
means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I
don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot.

I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN
in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my
teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting
divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother,
living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst
issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in
my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in
some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role
models for what I'm facing now in any regard.

Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make
up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or
tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more
knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail --
it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to
do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby
tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to
save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago
at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine",
and "done up", I friggin' suck.

Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me
and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part,
I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are
supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it,
frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers)
when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or
three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That
was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from
some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got
through it okay.

I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is
the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and
unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than
my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or
incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues
resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either).

Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out
how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it
when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening
with my husband or to a wedding, etc.

Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women
seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came
from...where did you learn it?

Pondering,
Tricia


  #18  
Old August 28th 06, 10:01 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Leslie & The Furbabies in MO.
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,327
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

Tricia-

The other replies here have many really good suggestions, so I won't
duplicate those.

I work Saturdays at the front desk for a real estate office. The owner
is a friend who has handled many real estate transactions for me over
the past 18 years. She and I have discussed and agree- the most
important duty is that I smile. A smile in my voice on the telephone
and a smile to greet everyone who comes thru the door. Start with your
smile and a well modulated voice and an open, pleasant, friendly,
polite, calm attitude. Be sure your vocabulary includes many "good
mornings", "pleases', and "thank yous" and make a big effort to use
people's names- and try to remember their names. I use first names
with people who seem open and friendly and Mr. or Mrs./Ms. with
everyone else. If in doubt, err in the more formal address. Being
prepared, dependable, clean, neat and appropriately dressed is very
important- more so than make-up and a hairstyle.

Best of luck.

Leslie- with over thirty years experience working with the public and
have been hired for every job I ever applied for- except one.....

PS: Do yopu have a friend with make-up and hairstyling skills you
admire? It might be less expensive and intimidating to ask for her
help in showing you the how-tos.

Tricia wrote:
No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on
my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let
me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and
hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important)
things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had
*great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and
self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it
means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I
don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot.

I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN
in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my
teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting
divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother,
living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst
issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in
my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in
some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role
models for what I'm facing now in any regard.

Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make
up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or
tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more
knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail --
it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to
do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby
tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to
save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago
at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine",
and "done up", I friggin' suck.

Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me
and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part,
I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are
supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it,
frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers)
when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or
three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That
was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from
some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got
through it okay.

I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is
the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and
unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than
my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or
incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues
resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either).

Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out
how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it
when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening
with my husband or to a wedding, etc.

Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women
seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came
from...where did you learn it?

Pondering,
Tricia


  #19  
Old August 28th 06, 10:24 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Tricia
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 217
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?


IMS wrote:
I'm curious as to _why_ you think the topic needs discussing _here_.

-Irene

Because I'm somewhere where I have no gal friends in real life to hang
around and ask and most of my friends back home are in one of two camps
about things: either don't know/don't do either OR look like perfectly
done porceline dolls so I came to where I had a group of ladies I could
ask. I know it's not on topic and I am sorry.

I'm absorbing and reading the other at the moment but felt this one
could easily be answered quickly.

Still reading and processing,
Tricia

  #20  
Old August 28th 06, 10:31 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Don/Gen
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 158
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to LOOK LIKE a "woman" rather than a "girl"?


Ragmop/Sandy--who still doesn't "get" that eyelash curling thing,
but I no longer care... g


IF I wear mascara (which is rare) I need the curling things--my eyelashes
are long and my glasses tend to get all messy from the mascara, plus it's
darn irritating having them rubbing on the lenses,
Gen


 




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