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#21
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Oh Dear MystifiedOne...... you are so intuitive! LOL In my mother's
case, that was EXACTLY the case. Being referred to as "you're just TOO sensitive" whenever I spoke up because I was offended or hurt! Needless to say, she's not speaking to me right at the moment. She is ONE of the ones who "offended" me last week because I am just TOO sensitive. Hugs, Tina |
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#22
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Diana, I think in some peoples case, "too sensitive" or thinking TOO
much - refers to THEIR discomfort when you express an opinion that conveys displeasure or disagreement with their opinion/thought/feeling/expression whatever. In my mothers case - it is when she is being bigoted and hypocritical to or about another human being - I speak my mind and tell her that I can't stand it when she is telling me about her Christian friends and her church group one minute and slamming black people the next - that she tells me, "Oh Tina, you are just too sensitive!" Well, all that tells me, is that I hit a "sensitive" nerve in YOU that you didn't want hit. No need for me to be beligerant about it - but I just tuck it away in my heart and give thanks that I learned how NOT to be towards my fellow man, from my mother. Hugs, Tina |
#23
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I absolutely agree with you Wendy.
I have been suffering in silence, because of what I had to endure when I made a small objection some months ago; but sometimes I get tired of just being quiet and, apparently, tolerant - which I am not. It is *not* possible to filter out these things when they come in the middle of a seemingly on topic, ordinary post. I suppose I do have a low 'offence' threshold, but I no longer read any posts labelled 'joke' or 'humo(u)r'. I cringe when I bump into coarse or vulgar language, but I have assumed other people think it is acceptable, as rarely does anyone say anything in objection. RCTQ has come to mean a great deal to many of us; and, like you I'm sure, it would be hard to pack up and go away. Though, in the last little while, many have disappeared. We don't know why for most of them. I am bubbling over with feelings, but can't think of any way to express things. I only posted because I didn't want you to feel you were a lone voice. I do also agree with Tina, but that concerns a rather different, more specific area. .. In message , frood writes Rant ahead. I'm not sure when, or why it changed, but there used to be a time, not so long ago, that people censored themselves. Things said in public were kept to a certain level of politeness. Most people didn't curse in public. Most people were careful about the audience they told off-color jokes to. Now, everywhere I go, I hear swear words. I hear jokes I'd rather not hear. I hear intimate details of people's lives. This newsgroup is a public place. More than that, this newsgroup is public and archived. The posts here used to reflect that. RCTQers, for the most part, realized that swearing in public was inconsiderate, and that jokes didn't have to be offensive to be funny. Many, many posters censored themselves in their posts. I'm not just talking about joke or "humor" posts, but in ordinary threads. And joke posts used carry warnings if they were possibly offensive. There are no newsgroup police, and I'm glad for that. I don't want this to become a moderated group. Yes, I know it's easy enough to skip over or filter some posts. But sometimes it's not. Sometimes right in the middle of things, life happens, and we are all exposed to it. But hey, I'm just ranting about the current state of things. Don't say I didn't warn you. -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#24
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"Diana Curtis" wrote in message ... I have been accused of the same thing, and I say, who gets to decide how sensitive is *too* sensitive? Perhaps if we spend to much time in pain because we cannot filter out some of the input we find hurtful, thats when we need to do something to lower our reactions. But, it is our call, not someone elses. My mom used to tell me I thought to much. Hmmm... what did that mean? How much is to much? DD is like her dad. She thinks too much, as well. Big brained people often do. They analyze everything down to the last detail. And sometimes they read way more into something than there actually is. Most people really AREN'T that deep. Sometimes someone will make a remark that might be hurtful. Sometimes it's unintentional, sometimes it's just plain stupid. I get past it by figuring that the remark was unintentional AND stupid. DD will have assigned motive and 10 years worth of history to back her up by the time it's all said and done. She "thought too much" and plum wore herself out in the process. This is one of my favorite quotes: "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity." Cindy |
#25
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Diana Curtis wrote:
I have been accused of the same thing, and I say, who gets to decide how sensitive is *too* sensitive? Good question. I got called too sensitive because it offends me to hear my *Christian* religious holidays called by twisted, cutesy names. I got accused on this group of trying to decide what other people should say. Sure, you can call them anything you want, but it's not very considerate -- and not very mature -- to call them by anything other than their proper names in public. It's about respect, really. I had to hold in a childish desire to call Muslim holidays by something unflattering and cutesy and say, "See? You can't tell me what to say, you're just being over-sensitive." It would have been ugly. All of this is about respect. People who had no respect for the folks stranded on their rooftops because of the color of their skin (two-thirds the population of New Orleans was black, what color did you expect to see? besides, I *saw* footage on CNN of white people being pulled from rooftops too). Blaming the victims is ugly. Sure, they made the wrong decision to stay after the evacuation started. Do they deserve to die an ugly death because they thought it couldn't possibly get as bad as it did? And that's why many of the ones who could have gotten out but didn't, stayed -- they really didn't think it could get as bad as it did. Foolish, overly-optimistic, whatever. I might have thought the same thing. I really think I might have. I may have wanted to stay and protect my home from the inevitable looters. They didn't deserve to drown or die of heat prostration and dehydration in an attic they couldn't get out of, for one admittedly stupid decision. And they certainly don't deserve our scorn. It's even more reprehensible to scorn the ones who *couldn't* leave. Katrina was a monster storm bigger than whole nations that slammed into my country and left a disaster area bigger than Great Britain. And Al Quaeda rejoiced. *That's* ugly (and I have to admit, I have to hold back a wave of religious bigotry against Muslims for it). Whole towns on the Gulf coast were turned into piles of matchsticks. Hundreds died; tens (hundreds?) of thousands were left homeless. Since insurance companies are trying to save their bottom line by using a technicality to refuse pay out to people whose homes were destroyed by the flooding, there are plenty of people who weren't poor who will be driven into poverty by this. Those already poor are even worse off. And some religious bigots say it was God punishing gays? It's ugly. And it makes me angry, because THAT'S what people will think Christians are like, and too many don't realize that's NOT Christianity in any way, shape or form. It's just ugly. What are people really thinking? Geez, I don't know. But if I look deep inside when I get a kick out of a blonde joke, isn't it really envy at the bottom of it all? Wanting to get back at blondes, because I was a brunette child with a blonde brother who never let me forget that "blonds have more fun"? So it makes me wonder if there's some seed that started as envy when you hear white people bad-mouthing black people -- maybe a black person got the job they wanted, or something. I had a black friend tell me that whites just don't get it -- blacks have to live with racism every time they leave their house, and often enough, coming into their own living room through the television or the computer. Every day, it smacks them in the face. Every single day of their lives. I thought about what that must be like. They're tired of it, and they're tired of being accused of whining about it. It was the first time anybody had pointed that out to me, and I was ashamed that I hadn't realized it on my own. Respect and rising above the very human tendency to get ugly is what it's all about. -- the black rose Research Associate in the Field of Child Development and Human Relations http://community.webshots.com/user/blackrosequilts 2005 BOMs: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/blackrosequilts/my_photos -------- __o ----- -\. -------- __o --- ( )/ ( ) ---- -\. -------------------- ( )/ ( ) ----------------------------------------- |
#26
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I agree that some of the joke posts are not my style. I have learned
to check who sent the joke before opening that post. I will probably miss a few good jokes but I won't have any floating in my mind which are not of my taste. (Why is it that we always remember the things we shouldn't and forget the grocery list?) Susan On Fri, 16 Sep 2005 14:43:38 GMT, "frood" wrote: Rant ahead. I'm not sure when, or why it changed, but there used to be a time, not so long ago, that people censored themselves. Things said in public were kept to a certain level of politeness. Most people didn't curse in public. Most people were careful about the audience they told off-color jokes to. Now, everywhere I go, I hear swear words. I hear jokes I'd rather not hear. I hear intimate details of people's lives. This newsgroup is a public place. More than that, this newsgroup is public and archived. The posts here used to reflect that. RCTQers, for the most part, realized that swearing in public was inconsiderate, and that jokes didn't have to be offensive to be funny. Many, many posters censored themselves in their posts. I'm not just talking about joke or "humor" posts, but in ordinary threads. And joke posts used carry warnings if they were possibly offensive. There are no newsgroup police, and I'm glad for that. I don't want this to become a moderated group. Yes, I know it's easy enough to skip over or filter some posts. But sometimes it's not. Sometimes right in the middle of things, life happens, and we are all exposed to it. But hey, I'm just ranting about the current state of things. Don't say I didn't warn you. |
#27
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It would appear that there are a lot of us who kept quiet for fear of
being labeled humorless. There are so many joyous things in life we could share, fun little things which expose no one to shame or offend anyones sensibiltys but can bring a smile or laugh to our day. I think you expressed yourself beautifully Patti, as did the others who voiced similar sentiments. Anyone is welcome to call me a prude, or overly sensitive, or humorless. I'll point to the great comedians of today and yesterday who could make us laugh (even at ourselves) without using blue material. Who can forget Carol Burnett, Tim Conway, Dick Van Dyke, Bob Hope, ....Im blanking now... anyone else care to add to the list? Diana Patti wrote: I absolutely agree with you Wendy. I have been suffering in silence, because of what I had to endure when I made a small objection some months ago; but sometimes I get tired of just being quiet and, apparently, tolerant - which I am not. It is *not* possible to filter out these things when they come in the middle of a seemingly on topic, ordinary post. I suppose I do have a low 'offence' threshold, but I no longer read any posts labelled 'joke' or 'humo(u)r'. I cringe when I bump into coarse or vulgar language, but I have assumed other people think it is acceptable, as rarely does anyone say anything in objection. RCTQ has come to mean a great deal to many of us; and, like you I'm sure, it would be hard to pack up and go away. Though, in the last little while, many have disappeared. We don't know why for most of them. I am bubbling over with feelings, but can't think of any way to express things. I only posted because I didn't want you to feel you were a lone voice. I do also agree with Tina, but that concerns a rather different, more specific area. . In message , frood writes Rant ahead. I'm not sure when, or why it changed, but there used to be a time, not so long ago, that people censored themselves. Things said in public were kept to a certain level of politeness. Most people didn't curse in public. Most people were careful about the audience they told off-color jokes to. Now, everywhere I go, I hear swear words. I hear jokes I'd rather not hear. I hear intimate details of people's lives. This newsgroup is a public place. More than that, this newsgroup is public and archived. The posts here used to reflect that. RCTQers, for the most part, realized that swearing in public was inconsiderate, and that jokes didn't have to be offensive to be funny. Many, many posters censored themselves in their posts. I'm not just talking about joke or "humor" posts, but in ordinary threads. And joke posts used carry warnings if they were possibly offensive. There are no newsgroup police, and I'm glad for that. I don't want this to become a moderated group. Yes, I know it's easy enough to skip over or filter some posts. But sometimes it's not. Sometimes right in the middle of things, life happens, and we are all exposed to it. But hey, I'm just ranting about the current state of things. Don't say I didn't warn you. |
#28
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On Fri, 16 Sep 2005 20:30:13 GMT, the black rose
wrote: Diana Curtis wrote: I have been accused of the same thing, and I say, who gets to decide how sensitive is *too* sensitive? Good question. I got called too sensitive because it offends me to hear my *Christian* religious holidays called by twisted, cutesy names. I got accused on this group of trying to decide what other people should say. Sure, you can call them anything you want, but it's not very considerate -- and not very mature -- to call them by anything other than their proper names in public. It's about respect, really. I had to hold in a childish desire to call Muslim holidays by something unflattering and cutesy and say, "See? You can't tell me what to say, you're just being over-sensitive." It would have been ugly. All of this is about respect. People who had no respect for the folks stranded on their rooftops because of the color of their skin (two-thirds the population of New Orleans was black, what color did you expect to see? besides, I *saw* footage on CNN of white people being pulled from rooftops too). Blaming the victims is ugly. Sure, they made the wrong decision to stay after the evacuation started. Do they deserve to die an ugly death because they thought it couldn't possibly get as bad as it did? And that's why many of the ones who could have gotten out but didn't, stayed -- they really didn't think it could get as bad as it did. Foolish, overly-optimistic, whatever. I might have thought the same thing. I really think I might have. I may have wanted to stay and protect my home from the inevitable looters. They didn't deserve to drown or die of heat prostration and dehydration in an attic they couldn't get out of, for one admittedly stupid decision. And they certainly don't deserve our scorn. It's even more reprehensible to scorn the ones who *couldn't* leave. Katrina was a monster storm bigger than whole nations that slammed into my country and left a disaster area bigger than Great Britain. And Al Quaeda rejoiced. *That's* ugly (and I have to admit, I have to hold back a wave of religious bigotry against Muslims for it). Whole towns on the Gulf coast were turned into piles of matchsticks. Hundreds died; tens (hundreds?) of thousands were left homeless. Since insurance companies are trying to save their bottom line by using a technicality to refuse pay out to people whose homes were destroyed by the flooding, there are plenty of people who weren't poor who will be driven into poverty by this. Those already poor are even worse off. And some religious bigots say it was God punishing gays? It's ugly. And it makes me angry, because THAT'S what people will think Christians are like, and too many don't realize that's NOT Christianity in any way, shape or form. It's just ugly. What are people really thinking? Geez, I don't know. But if I look deep inside when I get a kick out of a blonde joke, isn't it really envy at the bottom of it all? Wanting to get back at blondes, because I was a brunette child with a blonde brother who never let me forget that "blonds have more fun"? So it makes me wonder if there's some seed that started as envy when you hear white people bad-mouthing black people -- maybe a black person got the job they wanted, or something. I had a black friend tell me that whites just don't get it -- blacks have to live with racism every time they leave their house, and often enough, coming into their own living room through the television or the computer. Every day, it smacks them in the face. Every single day of their lives. I thought about what that must be like. They're tired of it, and they're tired of being accused of whining about it. It was the first time anybody had pointed that out to me, and I was ashamed that I hadn't realized it on my own. Respect and rising above the very human tendency to get ugly is what it's all about. I have Muslim friends. They assure me that Al Quaeda is not what Islam is about. It makes them angry that others will assume that that [the rejoicing which took place after Katrina] is what their religion is about, or that fanatics who twist religious tenets "speak" for them. -- Jo in Scotland |
#29
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So what you're saying is that those who accuse you of being "too sensitive"
are indeed hipocrites who are "too sensitive" when you say something that might possibly offend? I love to pick on hipocrites! Let me at them! The plot thickins... "Tina" wrote in message oups.com... : Diana, I think in some peoples case, "too sensitive" or thinking TOO : much - refers to THEIR discomfort when you express an opinion that : conveys displeasure or disagreement with their : opinion/thought/feeling/expression whatever. : : In my mothers case - it is when she is being bigoted and hypocritical : to or about another human being - I speak my mind and tell her that I : can't stand it when she is telling me about her Christian friends and : her church group one minute and slamming black people the next - that : she tells me, "Oh Tina, you are just too sensitive!" : : Well, all that tells me, is that I hit a "sensitive" nerve in YOU that : you didn't want hit. No need for me to be beligerant about it - but I : just tuck it away in my heart and give thanks that I learned how NOT to : be towards my fellow man, from my mother. : : Hugs, : Tina : |
#30
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Tom Lehrer.... he of the elements song and existential blues and many more
very funny, well written songs -- Jessamy (listening to him now and chuckling away... ) In The Netherlands Time to accept, time to grow, time to take things slow www.geocities.com/jess_ayad http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jess_ayad/my_photos ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It would appear that there are a lot of us who kept quiet for fear of being labeled humorless. There are so many joyous things in life we could share, fun little things which expose no one to shame or offend anyones sensibiltys but can bring a smile or laugh to our day. I think you expressed yourself beautifully Patti, as did the others who voiced similar sentiments. Anyone is welcome to call me a prude, or overly sensitive, or humorless. I'll point to the great comedians of today and yesterday who could make us laugh (even at ourselves) without using blue material. Who can forget Carol Burnett, Tim Conway, Dick Van Dyke, Bob Hope, ....Im blanking now... anyone else care to add to the list? Diana Patti wrote: I absolutely agree with you Wendy. I have been suffering in silence, because of what I had to endure when I made a small objection some months ago; but sometimes I get tired of just being quiet and, apparently, tolerant - which I am not. It is *not* possible to filter out these things when they come in the middle of a seemingly on topic, ordinary post. I suppose I do have a low 'offence' threshold, but I no longer read any posts labelled 'joke' or 'humo(u)r'. I cringe when I bump into coarse or vulgar language, but I have assumed other people think it is acceptable, as rarely does anyone say anything in objection. RCTQ has come to mean a great deal to many of us; and, like you I'm sure, it would be hard to pack up and go away. Though, in the last little while, many have disappeared. We don't know why for most of them. I am bubbling over with feelings, but can't think of any way to express things. I only posted because I didn't want you to feel you were a lone voice. I do also agree with Tina, but that concerns a rather different, more specific area. . In message , frood writes Rant ahead. I'm not sure when, or why it changed, but there used to be a time, not so long ago, that people censored themselves. Things said in public were kept to a certain level of politeness. Most people didn't curse in public. Most people were careful about the audience they told off-color jokes to. Now, everywhere I go, I hear swear words. I hear jokes I'd rather not hear. I hear intimate details of people's lives. This newsgroup is a public place. More than that, this newsgroup is public and archived. The posts here used to reflect that. RCTQers, for the most part, realized that swearing in public was inconsiderate, and that jokes didn't have to be offensive to be funny. Many, many posters censored themselves in their posts. I'm not just talking about joke or "humor" posts, but in ordinary threads. And joke posts used carry warnings if they were possibly offensive. There are no newsgroup police, and I'm glad for that. I don't want this to become a moderated group. Yes, I know it's easy enough to skip over or filter some posts. But sometimes it's not. Sometimes right in the middle of things, life happens, and we are all exposed to it. But hey, I'm just ranting about the current state of things. Don't say I didn't warn you. |
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