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  #21  
Old September 16th 05, 07:41 PM
Tina
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Oh Dear MystifiedOne...... you are so intuitive! LOL In my mother's
case, that was EXACTLY the case. Being referred to as "you're just TOO
sensitive" whenever I spoke up because I was offended or hurt!

Needless to say, she's not speaking to me right at the moment. She is
ONE of the ones who "offended" me last week because I am just TOO
sensitive.

Hugs,
Tina

Ads
  #22  
Old September 16th 05, 07:46 PM
Tina
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Diana, I think in some peoples case, "too sensitive" or thinking TOO
much - refers to THEIR discomfort when you express an opinion that
conveys displeasure or disagreement with their
opinion/thought/feeling/expression whatever.

In my mothers case - it is when she is being bigoted and hypocritical
to or about another human being - I speak my mind and tell her that I
can't stand it when she is telling me about her Christian friends and
her church group one minute and slamming black people the next - that
she tells me, "Oh Tina, you are just too sensitive!"

Well, all that tells me, is that I hit a "sensitive" nerve in YOU that
you didn't want hit. No need for me to be beligerant about it - but I
just tuck it away in my heart and give thanks that I learned how NOT to
be towards my fellow man, from my mother.

Hugs,
Tina

  #23  
Old September 16th 05, 08:12 PM
Patti
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I absolutely agree with you Wendy.
I have been suffering in silence, because of what I had to endure when I
made a small objection some months ago; but sometimes I get tired of
just being quiet and, apparently, tolerant - which I am not.
It is *not* possible to filter out these things when they come in the
middle of a seemingly on topic, ordinary post.
I suppose I do have a low 'offence' threshold, but I no longer read any
posts labelled 'joke' or 'humo(u)r'. I cringe when I bump into coarse
or vulgar language, but I have assumed other people think it is
acceptable, as rarely does anyone say anything in objection.
RCTQ has come to mean a great deal to many of us; and, like you I'm
sure, it would be hard to pack up and go away. Though, in the last
little while, many have disappeared. We don't know why for most of
them.

I am bubbling over with feelings, but can't think of any way to express
things.

I only posted because I didn't want you to feel you were a lone voice.

I do also agree with Tina, but that concerns a rather different, more
specific area.
..
In message , frood
writes
Rant ahead.


I'm not sure when, or why it changed, but there used to be a time, not so
long ago, that people censored themselves. Things said in public were kept
to a certain level of politeness. Most people didn't curse in public. Most
people were careful about the audience they told off-color jokes to. Now,
everywhere I go, I hear swear words. I hear jokes I'd rather not hear. I
hear intimate details of people's lives.

This newsgroup is a public place. More than that, this newsgroup is public
and archived. The posts here used to reflect that. RCTQers, for the most
part, realized that swearing in public was inconsiderate, and that jokes
didn't have to be offensive to be funny. Many, many posters censored
themselves in their posts. I'm not just talking about joke or "humor" posts,
but in ordinary threads. And joke posts used carry warnings if they were
possibly offensive.

There are no newsgroup police, and I'm glad for that. I don't want this to
become a moderated group. Yes, I know it's easy enough to skip over or
filter some posts. But sometimes it's not. Sometimes right in the middle of
things, life happens, and we are all exposed to it. But hey, I'm just
ranting about the current state of things. Don't say I didn't warn you.


--
Best Regards
pat on the hill
  #24  
Old September 16th 05, 08:40 PM
teleflora
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Diana Curtis" wrote in message
...
I have been accused of the same thing, and I say, who gets to decide how
sensitive is *too* sensitive? Perhaps if we spend to much time in pain
because we cannot filter out some of the input we find hurtful, thats when
we need to do something to lower our reactions. But, it is our call, not
someone elses.
My mom used to tell me I thought to much. Hmmm... what did that mean?
How much is to much?


DD is like her dad. She thinks too much, as well. Big brained people often
do. They analyze everything down to the last detail. And sometimes they
read way more into something than there actually is. Most people really
AREN'T that deep.

Sometimes someone will make a remark that might be hurtful. Sometimes it's
unintentional, sometimes it's just plain stupid.

I get past it by figuring that the remark was unintentional AND stupid. DD
will have assigned motive and 10 years worth of history to back her up by
the time it's all said and done. She "thought too much" and plum wore
herself out in the process.

This is one of my favorite quotes:
"Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity."

Cindy


  #25  
Old September 16th 05, 09:30 PM
the black rose
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Diana Curtis wrote:

I have been accused of the same thing, and I say, who gets to decide how
sensitive is *too* sensitive?


Good question. I got called too sensitive because it offends me to hear
my *Christian* religious holidays called by twisted, cutesy names. I
got accused on this group of trying to decide what other people should
say. Sure, you can call them anything you want, but it's not very
considerate -- and not very mature -- to call them by anything other
than their proper names in public. It's about respect, really. I had
to hold in a childish desire to call Muslim holidays by something
unflattering and cutesy and say, "See? You can't tell me what to say,
you're just being over-sensitive." It would have been ugly.

All of this is about respect. People who had no respect for the folks
stranded on their rooftops because of the color of their skin
(two-thirds the population of New Orleans was black, what color did you
expect to see? besides, I *saw* footage on CNN of white people being
pulled from rooftops too). Blaming the victims is ugly. Sure, they
made the wrong decision to stay after the evacuation started. Do they
deserve to die an ugly death because they thought it couldn't possibly
get as bad as it did? And that's why many of the ones who could have
gotten out but didn't, stayed -- they really didn't think it could get
as bad as it did. Foolish, overly-optimistic, whatever. I might have
thought the same thing. I really think I might have. I may have wanted
to stay and protect my home from the inevitable looters. They didn't
deserve to drown or die of heat prostration and dehydration in an attic
they couldn't get out of, for one admittedly stupid decision. And they
certainly don't deserve our scorn. It's even more reprehensible to
scorn the ones who *couldn't* leave.

Katrina was a monster storm bigger than whole nations that slammed into
my country and left a disaster area bigger than Great Britain. And Al
Quaeda rejoiced. *That's* ugly (and I have to admit, I have to hold
back a wave of religious bigotry against Muslims for it). Whole towns
on the Gulf coast were turned into piles of matchsticks. Hundreds died;
tens (hundreds?) of thousands were left homeless. Since insurance
companies are trying to save their bottom line by using a technicality
to refuse pay out to people whose homes were destroyed by the flooding,
there are plenty of people who weren't poor who will be driven into
poverty by this. Those already poor are even worse off. And some
religious bigots say it was God punishing gays? It's ugly. And it
makes me angry, because THAT'S what people will think Christians are
like, and too many don't realize that's NOT Christianity in any way,
shape or form. It's just ugly.

What are people really thinking? Geez, I don't know. But if I look
deep inside when I get a kick out of a blonde joke, isn't it really envy
at the bottom of it all? Wanting to get back at blondes, because I was
a brunette child with a blonde brother who never let me forget that
"blonds have more fun"? So it makes me wonder if there's some seed that
started as envy when you hear white people bad-mouthing black people --
maybe a black person got the job they wanted, or something. I had a
black friend tell me that whites just don't get it -- blacks have to
live with racism every time they leave their house, and often enough,
coming into their own living room through the television or the
computer. Every day, it smacks them in the face. Every single day of
their lives. I thought about what that must be like. They're tired of
it, and they're tired of being accused of whining about it. It was the
first time anybody had pointed that out to me, and I was ashamed that I
hadn't realized it on my own.

Respect and rising above the very human tendency to get ugly is what
it's all about.

--

the black rose
Research Associate in the Field of Child Development and Human
Relations
http://community.webshots.com/user/blackrosequilts
2005 BOMs: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/blackrosequilts/my_photos

-------- __o
----- -\. -------- __o
--- ( )/ ( ) ---- -\.
-------------------- ( )/ ( )
-----------------------------------------
  #26  
Old September 16th 05, 09:32 PM
Susan Laity Price
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I agree that some of the joke posts are not my style. I have learned
to check who sent the joke before opening that post. I will probably
miss a few good jokes but I won't have any floating in my mind which
are not of my taste. (Why is it that we always remember the things we
shouldn't and forget the grocery list?)

Susan


On Fri, 16 Sep 2005 14:43:38 GMT, "frood"
wrote:

Rant ahead.


I'm not sure when, or why it changed, but there used to be a time, not so
long ago, that people censored themselves. Things said in public were kept
to a certain level of politeness. Most people didn't curse in public. Most
people were careful about the audience they told off-color jokes to. Now,
everywhere I go, I hear swear words. I hear jokes I'd rather not hear. I
hear intimate details of people's lives.

This newsgroup is a public place. More than that, this newsgroup is public
and archived. The posts here used to reflect that. RCTQers, for the most
part, realized that swearing in public was inconsiderate, and that jokes
didn't have to be offensive to be funny. Many, many posters censored
themselves in their posts. I'm not just talking about joke or "humor" posts,
but in ordinary threads. And joke posts used carry warnings if they were
possibly offensive.

There are no newsgroup police, and I'm glad for that. I don't want this to
become a moderated group. Yes, I know it's easy enough to skip over or
filter some posts. But sometimes it's not. Sometimes right in the middle of
things, life happens, and we are all exposed to it. But hey, I'm just
ranting about the current state of things. Don't say I didn't warn you.


  #27  
Old September 16th 05, 09:35 PM
Diana Curtis
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

It would appear that there are a lot of us who kept quiet for fear of
being labeled humorless.
There are so many joyous things in life we could share, fun little
things which expose no one to shame or offend anyones sensibiltys but
can bring a smile or laugh to our day.
I think you expressed yourself beautifully Patti, as did the others
who voiced similar sentiments.
Anyone is welcome to call me a prude, or overly sensitive, or
humorless. I'll point to the great comedians of today and yesterday who
could make us laugh (even at ourselves) without using blue material. Who
can forget Carol Burnett, Tim Conway, Dick Van Dyke, Bob Hope, ....Im
blanking now... anyone else care to add to the list?
Diana

Patti wrote:
I absolutely agree with you Wendy.
I have been suffering in silence, because of what I had to endure when I
made a small objection some months ago; but sometimes I get tired of
just being quiet and, apparently, tolerant - which I am not.
It is *not* possible to filter out these things when they come in the
middle of a seemingly on topic, ordinary post.
I suppose I do have a low 'offence' threshold, but I no longer read any
posts labelled 'joke' or 'humo(u)r'. I cringe when I bump into coarse
or vulgar language, but I have assumed other people think it is
acceptable, as rarely does anyone say anything in objection.
RCTQ has come to mean a great deal to many of us; and, like you I'm
sure, it would be hard to pack up and go away. Though, in the last
little while, many have disappeared. We don't know why for most of them.

I am bubbling over with feelings, but can't think of any way to express
things.

I only posted because I didn't want you to feel you were a lone voice.

I do also agree with Tina, but that concerns a rather different, more
specific area.
.
In message , frood
writes

Rant ahead.


I'm not sure when, or why it changed, but there used to be a time, not so
long ago, that people censored themselves. Things said in public were
kept
to a certain level of politeness. Most people didn't curse in public.
Most
people were careful about the audience they told off-color jokes to. Now,
everywhere I go, I hear swear words. I hear jokes I'd rather not hear. I
hear intimate details of people's lives.

This newsgroup is a public place. More than that, this newsgroup is
public
and archived. The posts here used to reflect that. RCTQers, for the most
part, realized that swearing in public was inconsiderate, and that jokes
didn't have to be offensive to be funny. Many, many posters censored
themselves in their posts. I'm not just talking about joke or "humor"
posts,
but in ordinary threads. And joke posts used carry warnings if they were
possibly offensive.

There are no newsgroup police, and I'm glad for that. I don't want
this to
become a moderated group. Yes, I know it's easy enough to skip over or
filter some posts. But sometimes it's not. Sometimes right in the
middle of
things, life happens, and we are all exposed to it. But hey, I'm just
ranting about the current state of things. Don't say I didn't warn you.


  #28  
Old September 16th 05, 09:46 PM
Johanna Gibson
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On Fri, 16 Sep 2005 20:30:13 GMT, the black rose
wrote:

Diana Curtis wrote:

I have been accused of the same thing, and I say, who gets to decide how
sensitive is *too* sensitive?


Good question. I got called too sensitive because it offends me to hear
my *Christian* religious holidays called by twisted, cutesy names. I
got accused on this group of trying to decide what other people should
say. Sure, you can call them anything you want, but it's not very
considerate -- and not very mature -- to call them by anything other
than their proper names in public. It's about respect, really. I had
to hold in a childish desire to call Muslim holidays by something
unflattering and cutesy and say, "See? You can't tell me what to say,
you're just being over-sensitive." It would have been ugly.

All of this is about respect. People who had no respect for the folks
stranded on their rooftops because of the color of their skin
(two-thirds the population of New Orleans was black, what color did you
expect to see? besides, I *saw* footage on CNN of white people being
pulled from rooftops too). Blaming the victims is ugly. Sure, they
made the wrong decision to stay after the evacuation started. Do they
deserve to die an ugly death because they thought it couldn't possibly
get as bad as it did? And that's why many of the ones who could have
gotten out but didn't, stayed -- they really didn't think it could get
as bad as it did. Foolish, overly-optimistic, whatever. I might have
thought the same thing. I really think I might have. I may have wanted
to stay and protect my home from the inevitable looters. They didn't
deserve to drown or die of heat prostration and dehydration in an attic
they couldn't get out of, for one admittedly stupid decision. And they
certainly don't deserve our scorn. It's even more reprehensible to
scorn the ones who *couldn't* leave.

Katrina was a monster storm bigger than whole nations that slammed into
my country and left a disaster area bigger than Great Britain. And Al
Quaeda rejoiced. *That's* ugly (and I have to admit, I have to hold
back a wave of religious bigotry against Muslims for it). Whole towns
on the Gulf coast were turned into piles of matchsticks. Hundreds died;
tens (hundreds?) of thousands were left homeless. Since insurance
companies are trying to save their bottom line by using a technicality
to refuse pay out to people whose homes were destroyed by the flooding,
there are plenty of people who weren't poor who will be driven into
poverty by this. Those already poor are even worse off. And some
religious bigots say it was God punishing gays? It's ugly. And it
makes me angry, because THAT'S what people will think Christians are
like, and too many don't realize that's NOT Christianity in any way,
shape or form. It's just ugly.

What are people really thinking? Geez, I don't know. But if I look
deep inside when I get a kick out of a blonde joke, isn't it really envy
at the bottom of it all? Wanting to get back at blondes, because I was
a brunette child with a blonde brother who never let me forget that
"blonds have more fun"? So it makes me wonder if there's some seed that
started as envy when you hear white people bad-mouthing black people --
maybe a black person got the job they wanted, or something. I had a
black friend tell me that whites just don't get it -- blacks have to
live with racism every time they leave their house, and often enough,
coming into their own living room through the television or the
computer. Every day, it smacks them in the face. Every single day of
their lives. I thought about what that must be like. They're tired of
it, and they're tired of being accused of whining about it. It was the
first time anybody had pointed that out to me, and I was ashamed that I
hadn't realized it on my own.

Respect and rising above the very human tendency to get ugly is what
it's all about.


I have Muslim friends. They assure me that Al Quaeda is not what
Islam is about. It makes them angry that others will assume that that
[the rejoicing which took place after Katrina] is what their religion
is about, or that fanatics who twist religious tenets "speak" for
them.


-- Jo in Scotland
  #29  
Old September 16th 05, 10:00 PM
Mystified One
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

So what you're saying is that those who accuse you of being "too sensitive"
are indeed hipocrites who are "too sensitive" when you say something that
might possibly offend?

I love to pick on hipocrites! Let me at them!

The plot thickins...


"Tina" wrote in message
oups.com...
: Diana, I think in some peoples case, "too sensitive" or thinking TOO
: much - refers to THEIR discomfort when you express an opinion that
: conveys displeasure or disagreement with their
: opinion/thought/feeling/expression whatever.
:
: In my mothers case - it is when she is being bigoted and hypocritical
: to or about another human being - I speak my mind and tell her that I
: can't stand it when she is telling me about her Christian friends and
: her church group one minute and slamming black people the next - that
: she tells me, "Oh Tina, you are just too sensitive!"
:
: Well, all that tells me, is that I hit a "sensitive" nerve in YOU that
: you didn't want hit. No need for me to be beligerant about it - but I
: just tuck it away in my heart and give thanks that I learned how NOT to
: be towards my fellow man, from my mother.
:
: Hugs,
: Tina
:


  #30  
Old September 16th 05, 10:03 PM
Jessamy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Tom Lehrer.... he of the elements song and existential blues and many more
very funny, well written songs

--
Jessamy (listening to him now and chuckling away... )
In The Netherlands
Time to accept, time to grow, time to take things slow
www.geocities.com/jess_ayad
http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jess_ayad/my_photos

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It would appear that there are a lot of us who kept quiet for fear of
being labeled humorless.
There are so many joyous things in life we could share, fun little
things which expose no one to shame or offend anyones sensibiltys but
can bring a smile or laugh to our day.
I think you expressed yourself beautifully Patti, as did the others
who voiced similar sentiments.
Anyone is welcome to call me a prude, or overly sensitive, or
humorless. I'll point to the great comedians of today and yesterday who
could make us laugh (even at ourselves) without using blue material. Who
can forget Carol Burnett, Tim Conway, Dick Van Dyke, Bob Hope, ....Im
blanking now... anyone else care to add to the list?
Diana

Patti wrote:
I absolutely agree with you Wendy.
I have been suffering in silence, because of what I had to endure when I
made a small objection some months ago; but sometimes I get tired of
just being quiet and, apparently, tolerant - which I am not.
It is *not* possible to filter out these things when they come in the
middle of a seemingly on topic, ordinary post.
I suppose I do have a low 'offence' threshold, but I no longer read any
posts labelled 'joke' or 'humo(u)r'. I cringe when I bump into coarse
or vulgar language, but I have assumed other people think it is
acceptable, as rarely does anyone say anything in objection.
RCTQ has come to mean a great deal to many of us; and, like you I'm
sure, it would be hard to pack up and go away. Though, in the last
little while, many have disappeared. We don't know why for most of them.

I am bubbling over with feelings, but can't think of any way to express
things.

I only posted because I didn't want you to feel you were a lone voice.

I do also agree with Tina, but that concerns a rather different, more
specific area.
.
In message , frood
writes

Rant ahead.


I'm not sure when, or why it changed, but there used to be a time, not so
long ago, that people censored themselves. Things said in public were
kept
to a certain level of politeness. Most people didn't curse in public.
Most
people were careful about the audience they told off-color jokes to. Now,
everywhere I go, I hear swear words. I hear jokes I'd rather not hear. I
hear intimate details of people's lives.

This newsgroup is a public place. More than that, this newsgroup is
public
and archived. The posts here used to reflect that. RCTQers, for the most
part, realized that swearing in public was inconsiderate, and that jokes
didn't have to be offensive to be funny. Many, many posters censored
themselves in their posts. I'm not just talking about joke or "humor"
posts,
but in ordinary threads. And joke posts used carry warnings if they were
possibly offensive.

There are no newsgroup police, and I'm glad for that. I don't want
this to
become a moderated group. Yes, I know it's easy enough to skip over or
filter some posts. But sometimes it's not. Sometimes right in the
middle of
things, life happens, and we are all exposed to it. But hey, I'm just
ranting about the current state of things. Don't say I didn't warn you.




 




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