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Story - A MIL Story



 
 
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  #1  
Old March 8th 04, 05:53 AM
Jalynne
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Posts: n/a
Default Story - A MIL Story

Oh, Kathy, that's a priceless story. Coming from a family who is truly manipulative
in a harmful way...I just loved this "innocence". What a wonderful sense of humor
your MIL must have had.
--
Jalynne - Keeper of the Quilt for ME club list
Queen Gypsy (snail mail available upon request)
see what i've been up to at www.100megsfree4.com/jalynne
See what DH is up to at http://www.teamintraining.org/participant/kinney-162652

"Kathy N-V" wrote in message
.com...
After the funeral today, we were reminiscing about DH's mother, who passed
away just over three years ago. Well, passed from our physical life. She's
still here, as active as ever, trying very hard to run our lives, because not
a day goes by without "A Granny Story" being told that happens to match up
with a current situation.

My MIL should have become a screen actress, so that the entire world could
benefit from her often repeated performances. When DH and I were dating, I'd
often come to his home in the middle of some horrible, explosive, emotional
conflict. Coming from a family where such things were not expressed openly,
I was horrified, and usually left the premises as quickly as possible. I
could never understand why DH told me that these fights were totally
harmless, and to please trust him and sit threre through one.

So I did. I was slack jawed afterward. A minor difference of opinion turned
into an all out screamathon, with mother sobbing into her hands, sons
punching the door frames in anger, people stalking off dramatically, and
general chaos. I was deeply frightened - I had never seen anything remotely
like this. It was like an episode of "The Bickersons, Italian Style" beamed
right into the room with me.

Then, *snap*, it as over. Someone asked someone else for the cheese, dinner
resumed and peace was restored. I was more than a little confused for quite
a while, and then simply accepted it as my own private Cinema Verite'.

After a while, I noticed one of the principal players was yanking my chain,
and more importantly, the chains of all the other players. You see, at the
outset of every one of these shouting matches, my mother in law would
retreive a white lacy handkerchief from her pocket and start blubbing loudly
into it. Fascinated that anyone could turn on such a crying waterfall at
will, I paid attention to my MIL, and ignored DH, his brothers and FIL.

Remarkably, the sudden flood of tears ended the entire disagreement, with all
four men trying piteously to make "Mama feel better." She waved them all
away, and continued to sob for effect into the handkerchief. The men all
skulked away, beaten and defeated that they had broken Mama's heart. (In the
meantime, I'm sitting silent and unnoticed in a corner of the kitchen, in the
best seats in the house for this performance)

The kitchen was quiet except for the pathetic sobs, which came as less
frequent intervals. My mother in law peeked over the top of her handkerchief
to see if the coast was clear. Perfectly dry eyes met my amused ones and we
both nodded to one another. We never spoke of it, but she never, ever tried
the crying act on me, because I would have given her a big pinch, and she
knew it.

I was telling this story to the only son of my friend who passed away this
weekend. Like everyone else, he laughed. Ooops, not quite everyone else -
my own DH looked like someone had punched him in the stomach. The moment we
got home, I peppered with questions: Was this story true, and had his mother
been manipulating him, his brothers and father all those years?

My answer of "what do you think?" had him put his head in his hands and laugh
ruefully.

His next question of "Why didn't you tell me?" was a little less easy to
explain. My take on this was that this whole family had been behaving like
this for umpteen years (I understand that my MIL's parents and grandparents
were all in on the act while they were alive, too). My MIL was very short,
and no match for four men. She probably thought of this as her "secret
weapon."

It's okay Granny, we are all still laughing about it, and it doesn't make the
memory of her any less sweet.

Kathy N-V, who was blessed with terrific in-laws



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  #2  
Old March 8th 04, 07:05 AM
Debbie B
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I love that. You should put all of these in a book. I would definitely buy
it. Or at least journal them for your family (if you haven't already)

--
Debbie (New Mexico)
Life is too short
"Kathy N-V" wrote in message
.com...
After the funeral today, we were reminiscing about DH's mother, who passed
away just over three years ago. Well, passed from our physical life.

She's
still here, as active as ever, trying very hard to run our lives, because

not
a day goes by without "A Granny Story" being told that happens to match up
with a current situation.

My MIL should have become a screen actress, so that the entire world could
benefit from her often repeated performances. When DH and I were dating,

I'd
often come to his home in the middle of some horrible, explosive,

emotional
conflict. Coming from a family where such things were not expressed

openly,
I was horrified, and usually left the premises as quickly as possible. I
could never understand why DH told me that these fights were totally
harmless, and to please trust him and sit threre through one.

So I did. I was slack jawed afterward. A minor difference of opinion

turned
into an all out screamathon, with mother sobbing into her hands, sons
punching the door frames in anger, people stalking off dramatically, and
general chaos. I was deeply frightened - I had never seen anything

remotely
like this. It was like an episode of "The Bickersons, Italian Style"

beamed
right into the room with me.

Then, *snap*, it as over. Someone asked someone else for the cheese,

dinner
resumed and peace was restored. I was more than a little confused for

quite
a while, and then simply accepted it as my own private Cinema Verite'.

After a while, I noticed one of the principal players was yanking my

chain,
and more importantly, the chains of all the other players. You see, at

the
outset of every one of these shouting matches, my mother in law would
retreive a white lacy handkerchief from her pocket and start blubbing

loudly
into it. Fascinated that anyone could turn on such a crying waterfall at
will, I paid attention to my MIL, and ignored DH, his brothers and FIL.

Remarkably, the sudden flood of tears ended the entire disagreement, with

all
four men trying piteously to make "Mama feel better." She waved them all
away, and continued to sob for effect into the handkerchief. The men all
skulked away, beaten and defeated that they had broken Mama's heart. (In

the
meantime, I'm sitting silent and unnoticed in a corner of the kitchen, in

the
best seats in the house for this performance)

The kitchen was quiet except for the pathetic sobs, which came as less
frequent intervals. My mother in law peeked over the top of her

handkerchief
to see if the coast was clear. Perfectly dry eyes met my amused ones and

we
both nodded to one another. We never spoke of it, but she never, ever

tried
the crying act on me, because I would have given her a big pinch, and she
knew it.

I was telling this story to the only son of my friend who passed away this
weekend. Like everyone else, he laughed. Ooops, not quite everyone

else -
my own DH looked like someone had punched him in the stomach. The moment

we
got home, I peppered with questions: Was this story true, and had his

mother
been manipulating him, his brothers and father all those years?

My answer of "what do you think?" had him put his head in his hands and

laugh
ruefully.

His next question of "Why didn't you tell me?" was a little less easy to
explain. My take on this was that this whole family had been behaving

like
this for umpteen years (I understand that my MIL's parents and

grandparents
were all in on the act while they were alive, too). My MIL was very

short,
and no match for four men. She probably thought of this as her "secret
weapon."

It's okay Granny, we are all still laughing about it, and it doesn't make

the
memory of her any less sweet.

Kathy N-V, who was blessed with terrific in-laws



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  #3  
Old March 8th 04, 01:30 PM
Beadbimbo
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Great story, Kathy!

I'm so sorry about your neighbor and everything else that's been going on
with you.

--
Jerri
www.beadbimbo.com

To subscribe to the Beadbimbo mailing list, send a blank email to:


"Kathy N-V" wrote in message
.com...
After the funeral today, we were reminiscing about DH's mother, who passed
away just over three years ago. Well, passed from our physical life.

She's
still here, as active as ever, trying very hard to run our lives, because

not
a day goes by without "A Granny Story" being told that happens to match up
with a current situation.

My MIL should have become a screen actress, so that the entire world could
benefit from her often repeated performances. When DH and I were dating,

I'd
often come to his home in the middle of some horrible, explosive,

emotional
conflict. Coming from a family where such things were not expressed

openly,
I was horrified, and usually left the premises as quickly as possible. I
could never understand why DH told me that these fights were totally
harmless, and to please trust him and sit threre through one.

So I did. I was slack jawed afterward. A minor difference of opinion

turned
into an all out screamathon, with mother sobbing into her hands, sons
punching the door frames in anger, people stalking off dramatically, and
general chaos. I was deeply frightened - I had never seen anything

remotely
like this. It was like an episode of "The Bickersons, Italian Style"

beamed
right into the room with me.

Then, *snap*, it as over. Someone asked someone else for the cheese,

dinner
resumed and peace was restored. I was more than a little confused for

quite
a while, and then simply accepted it as my own private Cinema Verite'.

After a while, I noticed one of the principal players was yanking my

chain,
and more importantly, the chains of all the other players. You see, at

the
outset of every one of these shouting matches, my mother in law would
retreive a white lacy handkerchief from her pocket and start blubbing

loudly
into it. Fascinated that anyone could turn on such a crying waterfall at
will, I paid attention to my MIL, and ignored DH, his brothers and FIL.

Remarkably, the sudden flood of tears ended the entire disagreement, with

all
four men trying piteously to make "Mama feel better." She waved them all
away, and continued to sob for effect into the handkerchief. The men all
skulked away, beaten and defeated that they had broken Mama's heart. (In

the
meantime, I'm sitting silent and unnoticed in a corner of the kitchen, in

the
best seats in the house for this performance)

The kitchen was quiet except for the pathetic sobs, which came as less
frequent intervals. My mother in law peeked over the top of her

handkerchief
to see if the coast was clear. Perfectly dry eyes met my amused ones and

we
both nodded to one another. We never spoke of it, but she never, ever

tried
the crying act on me, because I would have given her a big pinch, and she
knew it.

I was telling this story to the only son of my friend who passed away this
weekend. Like everyone else, he laughed. Ooops, not quite everyone

else -
my own DH looked like someone had punched him in the stomach. The moment

we
got home, I peppered with questions: Was this story true, and had his

mother
been manipulating him, his brothers and father all those years?

My answer of "what do you think?" had him put his head in his hands and

laugh
ruefully.

His next question of "Why didn't you tell me?" was a little less easy to
explain. My take on this was that this whole family had been behaving

like
this for umpteen years (I understand that my MIL's parents and

grandparents
were all in on the act while they were alive, too). My MIL was very

short,
and no match for four men. She probably thought of this as her "secret
weapon."

It's okay Granny, we are all still laughing about it, and it doesn't make

the
memory of her any less sweet.

Kathy N-V, who was blessed with terrific in-laws



 




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