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#21
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Because we care for each other and the majority are women. Don't like it??
Don't read it! Sure hope you don't need personal advice and have no place else to turn!!! Gen wrote in message ... I'm curious as to _why_ you think the topic needs discussing _here_. -Irene On 28 Aug 2006 08:12:24 -0700, "Tricia" wrote: No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important) things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had *great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot. I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother, living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role models for what I'm facing now in any regard. Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail -- it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine", and "done up", I friggin' suck. Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part, I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it, frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers) when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got through it okay. I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either). Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening with my husband or to a wedding, etc. Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? Pondering, Tricia -------------- You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. --Mae West -------------- |
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#22
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women
seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? Pondering, Tricia I dont remember actually "learning" the woman stuff. I just aquired the knowledge along the way, trial and error and basic human maturing I suppose. Could be that I never payed much attention to it as it happened to be getting into my brain since I never did, and still dont, follow the fashion rules. I dont wear make up except for mascara, I dont follow clothing trends at all, my wardrobe comes from the thrift stores, and I dont give a hoot what anyone else thinks! I am ME. This is ME. Take ME or leave ME, but dont try and change ME! I think the 'learning to be a woman' is influenced by magazines and models and so on, most of whom are not great role models for the every day woman in today's world. Dont try and emulate everyone else for the sake of "what others say" just be you, happy with what you can do for yourself in the areas of makeup and fashion and etc. My style is just that. Mine. I know this was of NO help to you whatsoever, sorry, just voicing my opinion. ~KK in BC~ |
#23
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Yes, there are plenty of women who don't feel the need for makeup and high
heels (at least in my neck of the woods.) But the reality in the job market is that if you don't fit the "image", whether it's because you don't care for make up or because you have tats or dreds or are overweight or whatever, you're at a disadvantage in many companies and with many customers. (And it's as true for men as for women.) That image changes from place to place -- it's not the same if you're applying for a job at a law firm as if you're applying for a cashiering at the food co-op. A suit works better at one, Birkenstocks and tie-dye work better at the other. I made a choice 20 years ago that I didn't want to work for companies that felt image was more important than ability to do the work. Has that limited my choices? Absolutely! But it suits my personality, and so was the right choice for me. For some people, the right choice is to conform to "the image" so they have more economic opportunity. Tricia has chosen that path -- what's wrong with her asking for help in that regard? -- Kathy A. (Woodland, CA) Queen of Fabric Tramps http://fabrictramp.typepad.com/fabric_tramping/ remove the obvious to reply ===== "IMS" wrote in message ... I think you're missing a third category: those of who don't really care about wearing lots of makeup or wearing high heels! I can relate as I, too, have no close gal friends; I'm not into getting my nails painted, not into tanning, not into gossip, not into getting my hair done. That just seems all fake to me and I think there are more of us out there than we think. |
#24
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
On Mon, 28 Aug 2006 18:03:56 GMT, "Pauline"
wrote: *snip* If you're worried about your weight - try to dress in a way that helps to camoflage the areas you're most concerned about. This is another area where a good sales person can help you. And remember - you can always return anything you buy that you have buyers remorse after you get home & try it on again. *snip* Pauline Be careful on this one. I tried to take a suit back to a famous chain store here - Marks & Spencer's - and they refused to have it back because it had some wrinkles in it. Well, yes, I tried it on when I got home. They claimed that I had worn it, and therefore could not return it. So make sure you return something in a really good condition! Marks & Spencer's used to have a really good (almost too good - it was costing them thousands) return policy. Obviously too many people took advantage of them and they are cracking down now. -- Jo in Scotland |
#25
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" ratherthan a "girl"?
One more note to all the good advice that everyone has given you -- if
you go to a hair stylist for a new "do", take along some pictures of hairdos you like. Cut them out of magazines (pay or find them on the internet (try googling hairdo pictures). Ask the stylist if the styles you like are appropriate for your hair type; if not, ask him/her to suggest some alternatives. I have fine, very straight hair and I find that a short, straight cut works best for me. I like curls, but perms are too hard on my hair. Mine is a low maintenance hairdo (shampoo, gel, and go) that works fine for my casual, retired lifestyle. On the rare occasion that I am dressing up, I can touch it up with a curling iron. I had longer hair for awhile, but I was always pulling it back and I decided it really made me look older, so it was back to my old reliable short do. Julia in MN Tricia wrote: No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important) things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had *great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot. I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother, living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role models for what I'm facing now in any regard. Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail -- it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine", and "done up", I friggin' suck. Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part, I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it, frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers) when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got through it okay. I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either). Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening with my husband or to a wedding, etc. Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? Pondering, Tricia -- This message has been scanned for viruses by Norton Anti-Virus http://webpages.charter.net/jaccola/ |
#26
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
"Tricia" wrote in message ups.com... No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important) things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had *great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot. I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother, living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role models for what I'm facing now in any regard. Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail -- it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine", and "done up", I friggin' suck. Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part, I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it, frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers) when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got through it okay. I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either). Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening with my husband or to a wedding, etc. Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? Pondering, Tricia |
#27
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
I have the same problem - I stick to beigy brown lipstick and skip the rest
.. somehow I have always gotten away with no makeup just by making an effort in what I wear good luck Tricia! I hop you find the solution to this that makes you happy -- Jessamy In The Netherlands Take out: _I love the colour_ to reply. www.geocities.com/jessamy_thompson http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jes...pson/my_photos ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important) things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had *great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot. I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother, living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role models for what I'm facing now in any regard. Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail -- it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine", and "done up", I friggin' suck. Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part, I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it, frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers) when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got through it okay. I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either). Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening with my husband or to a wedding, etc. Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? Pondering, Tricia |
#28
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Sorry I misinterpreted -- all too easy to do!
-- Kathy A. (Woodland, CA) Queen of Fabric Tramps http://fabrictramp.typepad.com/fabric_tramping/ remove the obvious to reply ========= "IMS" wrote in message ... I didn't think there was any problem with her asking for help. I was simply curious as to why she felt the need to, that's all. Don't read anything more into it than that 'cause that's all it was - curiosity. -Irene -------------- You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. --Mae West -------------- |
#29
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Ok I know I haven't posted much in along while but reading this topic made
me realize that I am not the only one out there on this not so big blue marble any more. I am in my soon to be late 30's and I have no clue as how to use a curling iron, curlers or how to French braid my own hair, doing someone else's hair I have no problem with, just mine. Being blessed or cursed depending how I feel on any given day with naturally wavy to curly hair, I have it cut short to help with any problems hair wise. As for make up , I guess I was lucky being able to learn from my mother who used to be a nutri-medics, make up sales rep at one time. Plus as a teen on weekends when I had nothing planned I played with make up finding my own style, granted I hardly wear make up now, considering the work that I do and having odd skin to boot, it cant make up its mind if it wants to be normal, dry or oily. When I do put on the war paint its a very soft natural look, where it looks like I don't have any thing on but there is something a bit more added. I just use make up from the drug store, Revlon, L'Oreal and some times Marcell (sp?) Being prone to break outs myself mainly due to stress and Horrormoans, I mainly just use water to clean my face, but when I use make up , to clean my face I just use Oil of Olay cleansing cloths, works great and gentle on sensitive skin, fragrance free to boot, my skin loves it. I guess what you can gather from all this is experiment in your free time, sure you may go through the war paint a bit faster then normal but defiantly do what some of the others are suggesting go Mary Kay to learn the basic's then fine tune it to work for you. Hope it helps Dawn in Alberta -- When life gets you down , Get up and Mambo John Candy Remove the NOSpam to reply "Tricia" wrote in message ups.com... No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important) things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had *great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot. I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother, living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role models for what I'm facing now in any regard. Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail -- it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine", and "done up", I friggin' suck. Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part, I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it, frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers) when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got through it okay. I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either). Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening with my husband or to a wedding, etc. Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came from...where did you learn it? Pondering, Tricia |
#30
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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?
Karen, Queen of Squishies wrote: I learned it from a Mary Kay consultant. All of them are trained in showing you how to choose the right colors for your complexion, and how to properly apply it to make yourself look amazing! Karen, Queen of Squishies I didn't know they were trained in proper application -- I've had good luck in a previous encounter (I won a Satin Hands demo party via a teacher raffle one year) with having some colors picked out for me. I'll have to ask around the ladies on staff with my husband to know if any of them know of a MK consultant in the area. Thanks Karen, Tricia |
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