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OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?



 
 
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  #21  
Old August 28th 06, 10:35 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Don/Gen
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 158
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

Because we care for each other and the majority are women. Don't like it??
Don't read it! Sure hope you don't need personal advice and have no place
else to turn!!!
Gen

wrote in message
...
I'm curious as to _why_ you think the topic needs discussing _here_.

-Irene

On 28 Aug 2006 08:12:24 -0700, "Tricia"
wrote:

No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on
my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let
me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and
hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important)
things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had
*great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and
self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it
means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I
don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot.

I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN
in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my
teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting
divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother,
living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst
issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in
my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in
some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role
models for what I'm facing now in any regard.

Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make
up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or
tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more
knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail --
it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to
do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby
tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to
save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago
at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine",
and "done up", I friggin' suck.

Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me
and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part,
I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are
supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it,
frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers)
when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or
three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That
was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from
some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got
through it okay.

I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is
the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and
unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than
my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or
incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues
resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either).

Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out
how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it
when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening
with my husband or to a wedding, etc.

Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women
seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came
from...where did you learn it?

Pondering,
Tricia




--------------
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
--Mae West
--------------


Ads
  #22  
Old August 28th 06, 10:48 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
~KK in BC~
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 279
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women
seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came
from...where did you learn it?

Pondering,
Tricia


I dont remember actually "learning" the woman stuff. I just aquired the
knowledge along the way, trial and error and basic human maturing I suppose.
Could be that I never payed much attention to it as it happened to be
getting into my brain since I never did, and still dont, follow the fashion
rules. I dont wear make up except for mascara, I dont follow clothing trends
at all, my wardrobe comes from the thrift stores, and I dont give a hoot
what anyone else thinks! I am ME. This is ME. Take ME or leave ME, but dont
try and change ME!

I think the 'learning to be a woman' is influenced by magazines and models
and so on, most of whom are not great role models for the every day woman in
today's world. Dont try and emulate everyone else for the sake of "what
others say" just be you, happy with what you can do for yourself in the
areas of makeup and fashion and etc.

My style is just that. Mine.

I know this was of NO help to you whatsoever, sorry, just voicing my
opinion.

~KK in BC~


  #23  
Old August 28th 06, 10:59 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Kathy Applebaum
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,031
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

Yes, there are plenty of women who don't feel the need for makeup and high
heels (at least in my neck of the woods.) But the reality in the job market
is that if you don't fit the "image", whether it's because you don't care
for make up or because you have tats or dreds or are overweight or whatever,
you're at a disadvantage in many companies and with many customers. (And
it's as true for men as for women.) That image changes from place to
place -- it's not the same if you're applying for a job at a law firm as if
you're applying for a cashiering at the food co-op. A suit works better at
one, Birkenstocks and tie-dye work better at the other.

I made a choice 20 years ago that I didn't want to work for companies that
felt image was more important than ability to do the work. Has that limited
my choices? Absolutely! But it suits my personality, and so was the right
choice for me.

For some people, the right choice is to conform to "the image" so they have
more economic opportunity. Tricia has chosen that path -- what's wrong with
her asking for help in that regard?

--
Kathy A. (Woodland, CA)
Queen of Fabric Tramps

http://fabrictramp.typepad.com/fabric_tramping/
remove the obvious to reply

=====
"IMS" wrote in message
...

I think you're missing a third category: those of who don't really care
about wearing lots of makeup or wearing high heels!

I can relate as I, too, have no close gal friends; I'm not into getting
my nails painted, not into tanning, not into gossip, not into getting my
hair done. That just seems all fake to me and I think there are more of
us out there than we think.



  #24  
Old August 28th 06, 11:43 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Johanna Gibson
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 311
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

On Mon, 28 Aug 2006 18:03:56 GMT, "Pauline"
wrote:

*snip*

If you're worried about your weight - try to dress in a way that helps to
camoflage the areas you're most concerned about. This is another area where
a good sales person can help you. And remember - you can always return
anything you buy that you have buyers remorse after you get home & try it on
again.


*snip*

Pauline


Be careful on this one. I tried to take a suit back to a famous
chain store here - Marks & Spencer's - and they refused to have it
back because it had some wrinkles in it. Well, yes, I tried it on
when I got home. They claimed that I had worn it, and therefore could
not return it. So make sure you return something in a really good
condition! Marks & Spencer's used to have a really good (almost too
good - it was costing them thousands) return policy. Obviously too
many people took advantage of them and they are cracking down now.




-- Jo in Scotland
  #25  
Old August 28th 06, 11:55 PM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Julia in MN
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 123
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" ratherthan a "girl"?

One more note to all the good advice that everyone has given you -- if
you go to a hair stylist for a new "do", take along some pictures of
hairdos you like. Cut them out of magazines (pay or find them on the
internet (try googling hairdo pictures). Ask the stylist if the styles
you like are appropriate for your hair type; if not, ask him/her to
suggest some alternatives. I have fine, very straight hair and I find
that a short, straight cut works best for me. I like curls, but perms
are too hard on my hair. Mine is a low maintenance hairdo (shampoo, gel,
and go) that works fine for my casual, retired lifestyle. On the rare
occasion that I am dressing up, I can touch it up with a curling iron. I
had longer hair for awhile, but I was always pulling it back and I
decided it really made me look older, so it was back to my old reliable
short do.

Julia in MN

Tricia wrote:
No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on
my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let
me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and
hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important)
things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had
*great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and
self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it
means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I
don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot.

I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN
in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my
teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting
divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother,
living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst
issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in
my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in
some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role
models for what I'm facing now in any regard.

Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make
up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or
tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more
knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail --
it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to
do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby
tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to
save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago
at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine",
and "done up", I friggin' suck.

Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me
and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part,
I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are
supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it,
frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers)
when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or
three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That
was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from
some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got
through it okay.

I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is
the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and
unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than
my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or
incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues
resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either).

Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out
how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it
when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening
with my husband or to a wedding, etc.

Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women
seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came
from...where did you learn it?

Pondering,
Tricia



--
This message has been scanned for viruses by Norton Anti-Virus

http://webpages.charter.net/jaccola/

  #26  
Old August 29th 06, 12:22 AM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
julia sidebottom
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 148
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?


"Tricia" wrote in message
ups.com...
No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on
my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let
me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and
hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important)
things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had
*great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and
self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it
means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I
don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot.

I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN
in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my
teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting
divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother,
living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst
issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in
my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in
some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role
models for what I'm facing now in any regard.

Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make
up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or
tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more
knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail --
it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to
do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby
tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to
save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago
at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine",
and "done up", I friggin' suck.

Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me
and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part,
I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are
supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it,
frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers)
when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or
three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That
was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from
some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got
through it okay.

I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is
the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and
unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than
my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or
incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues
resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either).

Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out
how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it
when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening
with my husband or to a wedding, etc.

Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women
seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came
from...where did you learn it?

Pondering,
Tricia



  #27  
Old August 29th 06, 12:39 AM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Jessamy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 561
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

I have the same problem - I stick to beigy brown lipstick and skip the rest
..
somehow I have always gotten away with no makeup just by making an effort in
what I wear

good luck Tricia! I hop you find the solution to this that makes you happy


--
Jessamy
In The Netherlands
Take out: _I love the colour_ to reply.
www.geocities.com/jessamy_thompson
http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jes...pson/my_photos
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on
my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let
me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and
hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important)
things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had
*great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and
self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it
means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I
don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot.

I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN
in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my
teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting
divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother,
living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst
issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in
my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in
some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role
models for what I'm facing now in any regard.

Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make
up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or
tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more
knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail --
it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to
do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby
tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to
save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago
at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine",
and "done up", I friggin' suck.

Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me
and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part,
I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are
supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it,
frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers)
when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or
three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That
was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from
some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got
through it okay.

I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is
the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and
unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than
my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or
incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues
resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either).

Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out
how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it
when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening
with my husband or to a wedding, etc.

Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women
seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came
from...where did you learn it?

Pondering,
Tricia


  #28  
Old August 29th 06, 12:40 AM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Kathy Applebaum
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,031
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

Sorry I misinterpreted -- all too easy to do!

--
Kathy A. (Woodland, CA)
Queen of Fabric Tramps

http://fabrictramp.typepad.com/fabric_tramping/
remove the obvious to reply

=========
"IMS" wrote in message
...

I didn't think there was any problem with her asking for help. I was
simply curious as to why she felt the need to, that's all. Don't read
anything more into it than that 'cause that's all it was - curiosity.

-Irene


--------------
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
--Mae West
--------------


  #29  
Old August 29th 06, 12:51 AM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Dawn in Alberta
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 26
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?

Ok I know I haven't posted much in along while but reading this topic made
me realize that I am not the only one out there on this not so big blue
marble any more.
I am in my soon to be late 30's and I have no clue as how to use a curling
iron, curlers or how to French braid my own hair, doing someone else's hair
I have no problem with, just mine. Being blessed or cursed depending how I
feel on any given day with naturally wavy to curly hair, I have it cut short
to help with any problems hair wise. As for make up , I guess I was lucky
being able to learn from my mother who used to be a nutri-medics, make up
sales rep at one time. Plus as a teen on weekends when I had nothing planned
I played with make up finding my own style, granted I hardly wear make up
now, considering the work that I do and having odd skin to boot, it cant
make up its mind if it wants to be normal, dry or oily. When I do put on the
war paint its a very soft natural look, where it looks like I don't have any
thing on but there is something a bit more added. I just use make up from
the drug store, Revlon, L'Oreal and some times Marcell (sp?) Being prone to
break outs myself mainly due to stress and Horrormoans, I mainly just use
water to clean my face, but when I use make up , to clean my face I just use
Oil of Olay cleansing cloths, works great and gentle on sensitive skin,
fragrance free to boot, my skin loves it.
I guess what you can gather from all this is experiment in your free
time, sure you may go through the war paint a bit faster then normal but
defiantly do what some of the others are suggesting go Mary Kay to learn the
basic's then fine tune it to work for you. Hope it helps
Dawn in Alberta
--
When life gets you down , Get up and Mambo
John Candy
Remove the NOSpam to reply
"Tricia" wrote in message
ups.com...
No offense to our male readers/quilters, but this topic is weighing on
my mind right now and needs discussing AFAIC....Also, right away, let
me say, I know there is much more to being a woman than make up and
hair styles and such. Those other (and yes, much more important)
things AREN'T the things I want to discuss in this thread. I had
*great* role models for being a strong, self-sufficient (and
self-sacrificing) woman. Please don't flame me for trivalizing what it
means to be a woman. If you find this topic offensive, I'm sorry, I
don't mean to offend anyone or incite a riot.

I think most of us would probably say that the teen years is the WHEN
in regards to learning to be a "woman" rather than a "girl". During my
teen years my life was pretty screwed up (mom and stepass getting
divorced, long lost father back in my life, acquiring a stepmother,
living with an abusive alcoholic, etc. PLUS all the usual teen angst
issues). Somewhat as a result (I think) something "short circuited" in
my development in *how* to be a woman rather than a girl, or rather in
some other regards, being an adult vs a child. I didn't have role
models for what I'm facing now in any regard.

Specific to the Woman v Girl thing, I know virtually nothing about make
up, let alone how to properly apply it so I don't look like clown or
tramp. Forget trying to style my hair (although I have a little more
knowledge on that) in anything other than a basic flyaway ponytail --
it's basically not happening (these days it's more like getting me to
do anything other than use a headband 'cause it only makes a stubby
tail). Occassionally I get a perm. I can't manage to use curlers to
save my soul, not even the nice heated ones DH got me a few years ago
at my request. Basically when it comes to being "pretty", "feminine",
and "done up", I friggin' suck.

Part of it is having been raised with the mantra that God blessed me
and I didn't need make up and stuff to mask it all. For the most part,
I believe the philosophy (in the sense that we are the way we are
supposed to be, etc.) and while I tended to leave God out of it,
frequently shared that philosophy with my students (middle schoolers)
when the question inevitably came up why I was one of maybe two or
three female teachers in our building who didn't wear make-up. That
was fine in that enviroment -- I might have gotten more respect from
some of the adults I dealt with if I had been "done up" but I got
through it okay.

I suspect something that is hindering my ability to get hired lately is
the fact that I don't "do" make up and such -- with my baby face (and
unfortunately being noticably overweight), I tend to look younger than
my age, which at times translates for some (I suspect) as flighty or
incompetent. -- or like I just "don't care" (current hormone issues
resulting in pimples doesn't help dispel that myth either).

Besides the employment issue, I have been pondering trying to find out
how to "do" make up properly for a while now -- simply so I *can* do it
when the mood/situation strikes -- like going out for a nice evening
with my husband or to a wedding, etc.

Hence, realizing I have virtually no knowledge in an area many women
seem to have plenty, I thought I'd ask where that knowledge came
from...where did you learn it?

Pondering,
Tricia



  #30  
Old August 29th 06, 01:52 AM posted to rec.crafts.textiles.quilting
Tricia
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 217
Default OT proposed discussion: How did you learn to be a "woman" rather than a "girl"?


Karen, Queen of Squishies wrote:
I learned it from a Mary Kay consultant. All of them are trained in showing
you how to choose the right colors for your complexion, and how to properly
apply it to make yourself look amazing!

Karen, Queen of Squishies


I didn't know they were trained in proper application -- I've had good
luck in a previous encounter (I won a Satin Hands demo party via a
teacher raffle one year) with having some colors picked out for me.
I'll have to ask around the ladies on staff with my husband to know if
any of them know of a MK consultant in the area.

Thanks Karen,
Tricia

 




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