What would you do?

Good grief, Maureen, you need to quit
your day job and be way nicer to your
friends.
PAT, (who me, sarcastic?) in VA/USA

Maureen Wozniak wrote:

I had a friend like that, so I told her I didn't have time right at the
moment, but I'd teach her to do it herself. After one lesson, there were no
more requests from her.

Maureen

Of course, this is also the friend who fired me as a bridesmaid when I
refused to sew favor bags for her wedding.

In article ,
(NightMist) wrote:

My own mom is still utterly clueless about the time and expense of
handmade. She equates it with cheap and substandard. It may just be
that generation, or one of it's subcultures.


Nightmist, I think you've hit the nail on the head here. That generation
isn't far removed from the days when making everything (or having it
made) was necessary, so buying something was superior to doing it
yourself -- it showed you were *able* to buy it.

My mother has always been much the same as yours about gifts given her;
she just didn't value them if they were hand-made, though she always
told us as children that hand-made gifts were the best. What's odd is
that she's always made her own clothes -- though that may not be so
odd, after all, since her clothes look awful. But she refuses to buy
them, so it's her own choice.

I know that when I first became interested in quilting, I made her a
pair of cushions and then never saw them again. Needless to say, I never
made her a quilt.
--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
my ISP is earthlink.net -- put sfoster1(at) in front
http://home.earthlink.net/~sfoster1

AKA Dame Sandy, Minister of Education

In article l.net,
Maureen Wozniak wrote:

I had a friend like that, so I told her I didn't have time right at the
moment, but I'd teach her to do it herself. After one lesson, there were no
more requests from her.

Maureen

Of course, this is also the friend who fired me as a bridesmaid when I
refused to sew favor bags for her wedding.


Maureen, to paraphrase Marcella, you need better friends!
--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
my ISP is earthlink.net -- put sfoster1(at) in front
http://home.earthlink.net/~sfoster1

AKA Dame Sandy, Minister of Education

Sandy: Not to worry! Maureen already HAS
better friends ... you, Ragmop, Kate,
Polly, me ....
PAT

Sandy Foster wrote:

In article l.net,
Maureen Wozniak wrote:


I had a friend like that, so I told her I didn't have time right at the
moment, but I'd teach her to do it herself. After one lesson, there were no
more requests from her.

Maureen

Of course, this is also the friend who fired me as a bridesmaid when I
refused to sew favor bags for her wedding.



Maureen, to paraphrase Marcella, you need better friends!

In article xj2Hg.26038$yO4.15405@dukeread02,
Pat in Virginia wrote:

Sandy: Not to worry! Maureen already HAS
better friends ... you, Ragmop, Kate,
Polly, me ....
PAT

Good point, Pat. G


Sandy Foster wrote:

In article l.net,
Maureen Wozniak wrote:


I had a friend like that, so I told her I didn't have time right at the
moment, but I'd teach her to do it herself. After one lesson, there were
no
more requests from her.

Maureen

Of course, this is also the friend who fired me as a bridesmaid when I
refused to sew favor bags for her wedding.



Maureen, to paraphrase Marcella, you need better friends!



--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
my ISP is earthlink.net -- put sfoster1(at) in front
http://home.earthlink.net/~sfoster1

AKA Dame Sandy, Minister of Education

I don't know what age your parents are but my mother was 77 when she
died and she did handiwork and she KNEW what type and labor went into
it. I remember when I was really young about 5 or 6 years old, they
were trying to raise money for a new furnace for the local hospital,
don't have one now, btw, but anyway she donated one of her afghans
that she had woven and she told them, now mind you this was early 60's
that if they could not get at least $200 for it that she would donate
the $200 and wanted the afghan back. They made over $400 on that
afghan. So don't discredit the older generations, because my mother
and my grandmother knew the worth of something hand made. As far as
clothing went, my mother made almost everything we wore, I loved it
because I didn't have to worry about meeting myself coming at school.

Jacqueline

On Wed, 23 Aug 2006 19:44:57 GMT, Sandy Foster
wrote:

In article ,
(NightMist) wrote:

My own mom is still utterly clueless about the time and expense of
handmade. She equates it with cheap and substandard. It may just be
that generation, or one of it's subcultures.


Nightmist, I think you've hit the nail on the head here. That generation
isn't far removed from the days when making everything (or having it
made) was necessary, so buying something was superior to doing it
yourself -- it showed you were *able* to buy it.

My mother has always been much the same as yours about gifts given her;
she just didn't value them if they were hand-made, though she always
told us as children that hand-made gifts were the best. What's odd is
that she's always made her own clothes -- though that may not be so
odd, after all, since her clothes look awful. But she refuses to buy
them, so it's her own choice.

I know that when I first became interested in quilting, I made her a
pair of cushions and then never saw them again. Needless to say, I never
made her a quilt.

Jacqueline
http://www.mountain-breeze.com
Recipes and other fun things

Debbie wrote:

Been There, Done That (can ya tell?!!!)

Erin
http://arkivarie.livejournal.com/


Well, Erin, did you make her one or steer clear? LOL.


Well, I didn't mean quilting when I wrote the above. :-) Actually,
Harri's mom has a *huge* respect for all types of handwork, sewing,
etc. She and Harri's dad are from a little village in Finland up near
the artic circle and there is still a great emphasis on
self-sufficiency.

However, the "oh can't you just do one TEENY TINY little favor for my
poor dear mama" thingie rings a bell! I moved to Sweden from NC in Feb.
1994 and at that time couldn't speak Swedish (and still don't speak
Finnish) so communication with Harri's folks went through him. I got
"volunteered" for things without people checking with ME first. Then,
when I said "no" I got the whole guilt trip from Harri. Putting my foot
down with both Harri and his mom caused a lot more conflict with Harri
than with Tuovi.

I might add that I don't normally have a problem setting boundaries,
limits, what-have-you, that's actually how I got labelled a
"museumbitch." Ha ha ha! But since I moved here from another country,
I was trying to be "anthropologically correct" so to speak. In other
words I put up with a lot of manipulative nonsense that I would not
have tolerated when I lived in the U.S. Unfortunately, there are some
people who missinterprete politeness. :-(

(to get a bit back on topic) I agree with the other posters who have
written that your MIL sounds like she is being manipulative. I'm afraid
I would have totally gone ballistic at the thought of something I'd
made myself ending up in a yard sale a year later!!! My mom also has
the attitude that handcrafted gifts are a sign of cheapness, so the
last time she got one from me was in the early 1980s!

hth
Erin

Jacqueline wrote:

I don't know what age your parents are but my mother was 77 when she
died and she did handiwork and she KNEW what type and labor went into
it. I remember when I was really young about 5 or 6 years old, they
were trying to raise money for a new furnace for the local hospital,
don't have one now, btw, but anyway she donated one of her afghans
that she had woven and she told them, now mind you this was early 60's
that if they could not get at least $200 for it that she would donate
the $200 and wanted the afghan back. They made over $400 on that
afghan. So don't discredit the older generations, because my mother
and my grandmother knew the worth of something hand made. As far as
clothing went, my mother made almost everything we wore, I loved it
because I didn't have to worry about meeting myself coming at school.

My granny treasured the embroidered mat I made for her when I was five,
and my mum brought it back to me after Granny died. They both knew the
value and the effort that went into that little gift. Some of the best
dresses I had as a kid were made by my mum. Her hand embroidery was a
marvel too. They lived through the war and saw both the 'make do and
mend' bite hard, and also the beauty of hand made items. My mum is
still embarrassed to offer bought cake to guests!

But I DO know folk who have no idea, and think that hand made is cheap
and a way of saving. I just do my best to educate them, but if they
won't learn...

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

Wow, Erin, your post bring up all kinds of questions! Sweden from NC?
"museumbitch"??? Do you work at a museum? It all sounds interesting,
mysterious and exotic!
KJ


"Erin" wrote in message
oups.com...



Well, I didn't mean quilting when I wrote the above. :-) Actually,
Harri's mom has a *huge* respect for all types of handwork, sewing,
etc. She and Harri's dad are from a little village in Finland up near
the artic circle and there is still a great emphasis on
self-sufficiency.

However, the "oh can't you just do one TEENY TINY little favor for my
poor dear mama" thingie rings a bell! I moved to Sweden from NC in Feb.
1994 and at that time couldn't speak Swedish (and still don't speak
Finnish) so communication with Harri's folks went through him. I got
"volunteered" for things without people checking with ME first. Then,
when I said "no" I got the whole guilt trip from Harri. Putting my foot
down with both Harri and his mom caused a lot more conflict with Harri
than with Tuovi.

I might add that I don't normally have a problem setting boundaries,
limits, what-have-you, that's actually how I got labelled a
"museumbitch." Ha ha ha! But since I moved here from another country,
I was trying to be "anthropologically correct" so to speak. In other
words I put up with a lot of manipulative nonsense that I would not
have tolerated when I lived in the U.S. Unfortunately, there are some
people who missinterprete politeness. :-(

(to get a bit back on topic) I agree with the other posters who have
written that your MIL sounds like she is being manipulative. I'm afraid
I would have totally gone ballistic at the thought of something I'd
made myself ending up in a yard sale a year later!!! My mom also has
the attitude that handcrafted gifts are a sign of cheapness, so the
last time she got one from me was in the early 1980s!

hth
Erin

I think the problem for many people is distinguishing
between hobby and skill. They seem to think that if
something is a "hobby" you should do it for no labour/time
payment.

And I constantly find that non-quilters have no idea how
much even the materials for a quilt cost.

--
--

Cheryl & the Cats
_ o _ o 0 0
( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y )
~ ~ U
Enness Boofhead Donut
Starting to wake from hibernation!
http://community.webshots.com/user/witchofthewest
catsatararatATyahooDOTcomDOTau

"NightMist" wrote in message
...
: On Tue, 22 Aug 2006 22:11:26 +0100, Kate Dicey
: wrote:
:
: Debbie wrote:
:
: Gosh, I feel better. I felt like a whiney butt for even
grumbling about it,
: but when she said she was going to put that one in the
yard sale and it
: isn't even a year old yet, my blood pressure hit the
roof!!! It was obvious
: she had no appreciation for my time and effort.
:
: (snip)
:
: What wuld you all charge for a log cabin quilt that
size -- roughly? I was
: thinking $200, but that sounds like a lot. ex. 30 hours
x 5.00 an hour + $50
: in materials.
:
: $5 an hour is waaaaay too low for such skilled work. $20
would be
: closer to reality.
:
: At present $20/hour plus is exactly what I charge for
garment sewing.
: Here is a repost (updated to reflect current charges) of a
reply I
: made in a fashion group:
:
: ***************************************
: My basic rules include never, ever, start pricing at cost
of
: materials, unless it's a 100% donation to a charity
auction.
: There are costs beyond materials that you don't usually
stop and
: consider. You want to cover those or you find yourself
loseing money
: and having a hard time figuring out where it went.
:
:
: For clothing, I usually run about like this:
:
:
: Alterations and repairs, round time to the nearest quarter
hour and
: charge $20/hour plus the cost of any materials used (other
than
: thread, that gets ridiculous unless it's a huge major
remake of
: something monstrous).
: Same deal for plain sewing from a purchased pattern but
multiply the
: cost of materials by 2.5. However, if the
: pattern company is on my list of incompetant pattern
makers, I charge
: extra for PITA work (usually by throwing $25-$50 on the
total
: estimate)
:
:
: Total custom design, or working from a pattern that is
more than 2
: sizes off from the desired result is purely by
negotiation, but no
: less than the estimated cost of materials times 2.5 plus
[the
: estimated time it will take in hours, _including the
design time_,
: times 5]
: Custom design does often come out cheaper, but it is
actually easier
: for me than doing things someone else's way.
:
:
: The times that something goes out on comission, or to
auction, I
: always work the percentage for comission into the price as
well as any
:
: fees involved.
:
: The multiplier on materials is to cover the odd bits I
forget when
: toting up the materials, and things that I buy in quantity
and am too
: lazy to tally individually. Backing buttons, more thread
than I
: counted on or thread bought on cones and used for several
projects,
: marking materials, needles and pins, paper, etc. This way
I can just
: tote up the fabric and any specialty items and not fret
that I am
: boggleing the math and hurting my finances. Things like
handmade lace
: go on a completely different pricing basis and then are
added in.
: ****************************
:
: I don't see why this kind of pricing should not work for
quilts as
: well as garments. You may want to alter the materials
multiplier as
: quilts take more fabric and fewer notions, depending on
your process
: of course.
:
: While I do discount to reletives, if they want me to make
something
: for them to give as a gift to a friend of theirs the
discount is not
: so much.
:
: You MIL is asking you to _work_. If you owned a TV store
and had
: given her a TV as a gift, would she then expect you to
just hand over
: a pair for her to give to strangers? Obviously with
quilts the cost
: would be just as much or more.
: Either she needs to understand the expense, or your DH
needs to have a
: chat with her about trying to take undo advantage of his
family.
: My own mom is still utterly clueless about the time and
expense of
: handmade. She equates it with cheap and substandard. It
may just be
: that generation, or one of it's subcultures.
:
: NightMist
: --
: The wolf that understands fire has much to eat.