LQS Complaints--Other shoe; same foot.

it's the first time I did it but if they get put in their rooms they will
play and then it isn't a punishment anymore is it?
usually they listen but then today is different - it's normally the morning
they go out with dad but with tomorrow being fathers day the days have been
switched so they are cranky to start with.

this PM will see us backing biscuits and cake and bread for tomorrows
fathers day breakfast and picnic as fathers day coincides with the national
visit the eco farm day )and my mother set out the local bicycle route and is
on one of the farms with a stall) we will be going to at least one eco farm
and having a picnic together before I drop ex off at work and snitch the car
for the rest of the day lol

I cope with the tantrums and take consolation in the fact that *everyone*
thinks my kids are great kids to have around and that they are well
behaved - it's only mum they drive to insanity LOL

--
Jessamy
In The Netherlands
Take out: so much quilting to reply.
Time to accept, time to grow, time to take things slow
www.geocities.com/jess_ayad
http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jes...pson/my_photos
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I never put him to bed as a punishment: bed was always a warm, snuggly
retreat at the end of the day. I did barricade him into his room on
several occasions. Half an hour later everything would go quiet... Ten
minutes after that I'd go in and find him in a heap on the bed with all
his bears, sound asleep. An hour later he'd be up and sunny as usual.
This happened about once every month or so. Like I say, I was spoiled -
he very rarely turned from cherub to boiled goblin, and when he did, it
was nasty but short lived. When he was really small they usually
happened if he was hungry, needed changing, or was tired: perm any two
or add all three for fun! After the age of two, frustration and
boredom would occasionally spark one, and the trick there is to keep the
little bugger occupied with something safe. Shopping is horrifically
boring for small kids, but occasionally one cannot escape taking them,
and I used to give James things to find for me and his own basket.
Occasional 'treats' would sneak in (like a pack of mini Jaffa cakes!),
but they usually got put back or we negotiated on them.

The screaming brat in supermarket scenario was one of the prime movers
in Alan taking over the grocery shopping... Well that and the fact that
it reduces ME to screaming fits! We'd starve if he didn't do it! These
days James fights to push the trolley round. Oddly, he likes doing
that. Still, if one has a strapping 11 YO with decent muscles, one
might as well make use of him!

James's fits of boiled goblinitus were sufficiently rare that I remember
such episodes as Faversham High Street, the Embarrassing Bread Shop Trip
in Richmond, and why we had to buy him a coat in Zurich!
--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

Jessamy wrote:

I cope with the tantrums and take consolation in the fact that *everyone*
thinks my kids are great kids to have around and that they are well
behaved - it's only mum they drive to insanity LOL


James is like that - and on the whole I'd much rather it was that way
round than the other!

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

Jessamy wrote:
part of parenting include *ignoring* unwanted behaviour - and that includes
a temper tantrum in a super market

There's a big difference between a child being loud or having a tantrum
in public, and a child running around getting into things. When a child
is having a meltdown in public I sometimes privately think that maybe
mom should take the kid home, but that's not my judgment call to make.
The time I was in a quilting class and I literally couldn't leave my
sewing machine to go to lunch because someone's out-of-control toddler
was running around grabbing other people's stuff, that's an entirely
different ball of wax and I *will* (and did) say something.

--

blackrosequilts
My train of thought left the station without me.

http://community.webshots.com/user/blackrosequilts
2005 BOMs: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/blackrosequilts/my_photos

-------- __o
----- -\. -------- __o
--- ( )/ ( ) ---- -\.
-------------------- ( )/ ( )
-----------------------------------------

On Sat, 17 Jun 2006 08:37:56 +0100, Kate Dicey
wrote:

NightMist wrote:
Thing is, Ash is so not a toddler. He will be 7 in a couple of weeks.
My thinking runs along the lines of anyone who hears him will know
that he is a special needs kid, but both my co-parents are absolutely
paranoid about getting trouble for it.

Have a word with his social worker or medical team and see what they
think.

He has no social worker.
To date, his medical team consists of the same pediatric office (and
the only pediatric office in town) that kept saying he would "grow out
of it" until he was 4 and social services started getting insistant
about head start.(1)

And see what the law is like on this issue in your state.

And, alas, the law on such things is whatever a social worker can
convince a judge of. If they don't fancy it, it is horribly abusive.
If they see no problem, then there is no problem. Written law is
inconsequential.
So you see there is some cause for paranoia. Especially since we have
a "non-standard" family composition that the local judge has already
expressed reservations about.


90% of the time James was on the lead he also held hands with me or his
dad. The lead wasn't necessary most of the time, but when it was, we
were ALL very glad of it!


Much of the time Ash is pretty good about holding hands and all. He
doesn't see why he should not investigate anything that catches his
eye though. We don't often take him to the grocery store either,
because he doesn't understand why he should not have a snack while in
the midst of so many snackable things.
Worse, while he is completely antisocial with children he likes
adults, particularly adult men. [Yes, he seems to think his Daddy
walks on water ] This could lead to serious trouble so fast I just
shudder to think about it.

NightMist
(1) we get rental assistance, energy assistance, and a pittance on
the food bill. Any minor child in a family that recieves any
assistance in this state is expected to attend Head Start if they are
of an age for it, so long as there is still room in the classes. We
got Ash reviewed by the school and into a special pre-school class.
He could have been in the class from the time he was two if the
pediatrician's office hadn't been such buttheads.
--
The wolf that understands fire has much to eat.

On Fri, 16 Jun 2006 15:39:37 +1000, Trish Brown
wrote:


Sometimes, it can help to have a Good Texture handy for the child to
take refuge in.

Ash is very curious and wants to see and touch _everything_.

So far we haven't encountered too many meltdowns in public. When we
have it is mostly because we won't let him run off and investigate
everything. LOL!

He also has that oral thing happening, everything must go into his
mouth, and when you don't let it he chews his fingers raw. We are
currently on search for an oral stimulator that will suit. We have
gotten some Chewelry from Jump-In Products, but the results have been
iffy. We are sort of trying to avoid things like the vibrating
cheerleader on a stick. We will keep trying with the chewelry for a
bit before moving on to anything that takes batteries. I recently
found The Green Knobby Chewy Tube from the same place I got the
chewlery so that may be the fallback thing.

NB. How old is Ash? IME, it was worth pulling out all stops to find care
for DS while I went shopping. He really couldn't cope with the sights
and sounds of shopping malls until he was about ten or so. After that,
he was fine. The only thing that really upsets him these days is
balloons. He assumes every balloon can and will burst. It can be quite
unusual to see a grown man sidling nervously away from a baby with a
balloon in its hand. ROTFL!

He is 7 in a couple of weeks.
I would love to have a respite worker. However having been one before
I know how it works locally through most channels. It is on the
parents to find somebody, then do all the paperwork, then get
reimbursed for the worker and pay them. (did I get ripped off a lot?
Yes!)
I want to get in touch with The Resource Center,
http://www.resourcecenteronline.org , they are right here in town and
have a whole slew of services. Including trained respite workers.
So far though, paranoia rules.

NightMist
--
The wolf that understands fire has much to eat.

NightMist wrote:

On Sat, 17 Jun 2006 08:37:56 +0100, Kate Dicey
wrote:


NightMist wrote:

Thing is, Ash is so not a toddler. He will be 7 in a couple of weeks.
My thinking runs along the lines of anyone who hears him will know
that he is a special needs kid, but both my co-parents are absolutely
paranoid about getting trouble for it.

Have a word with his social worker or medical team and see what they
think.


He has no social worker.
To date, his medical team consists of the same pediatric office (and
the only pediatric office in town) that kept saying he would "grow out
of it" until he was 4 and social services started getting insistant
about head start.(1)

A wunch of bankers, in effect...


And see what the law is like on this issue in your state.


And, alas, the law on such things is whatever a social worker can
convince a judge of. If they don't fancy it, it is horribly abusive.
If they see no problem, then there is no problem. Written law is
inconsequential.
So you see there is some cause for paranoia. Especially since we have
a "non-standard" family composition that the local judge has already
expressed reservations about.

I do! ARGH!


90% of the time James was on the lead he also held hands with me or his
dad. The lead wasn't necessary most of the time, but when it was, we
were ALL very glad of it!



Much of the time Ash is pretty good about holding hands and all. He
doesn't see why he should not investigate anything that catches his
eye though. We don't often take him to the grocery store either,
because he doesn't understand why he should not have a snack while in
the midst of so many snackable things.

I can understand that. Just like a 2 YO, and probably won't grow out of
this instant trait any time soon - if at all!

Worse, while he is completely antisocial with children he likes
adults, particularly adult men. [Yes, he seems to think his Daddy
walks on water ] This could lead to serious trouble so fast I just
shudder to think about it.

Quite! I'd consider a lead a necessity with one like Ash, darling
though he may be.

NightMist
(1) we get rental assistance, energy assistance, and a pittance on
the food bill. Any minor child in a family that recieves any
assistance in this state is expected to attend Head Start if they are
of an age for it, so long as there is still room in the classes. We
got Ash reviewed by the school and into a special pre-school class.
He could have been in the class from the time he was two if the
pediatrician's office hadn't been such buttheads.

See comment up there... ^

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

Ours was a wrist leash - from hers to mine. If needed, I tied my end to the
stroller thus free to open car doors, carry shopping etc. An absolute
lifesaver and saved many a granny from broken hips and dept stores from
broken vases!

--
Sharon from Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/craft.html (takes a while to load)
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/shazrules/my_photos (same as website but
quicker)

"Kathy Applebaum" wrote in message
.com...

"Sandy Foster" wrote in message
...


Polly, I had the same leash for my two almost 30 years ago. Things had
changed enough by then, though, that people gave me dirty looks and told
me I was treating my DDs as though they were dogs. Hmmph! Better a
*safe* and leashed DD than one who could dart away and knock over a
display of glass vases, doing harm to herself as well as breaking the
vases! I wish more parents used those leashes to keep their children
safe. :S

I used to work for a man who had toddler triplets -- the leash was a life
saver (probably literally!) for them. When people used to tell him he was
cruel, he'd tell them he'd love to hear a great alternative. No one ever
had
one.

--
Kathy A. (Woodland, CA)
Queen of Fabric Tramps
http://www.kayneyquilting.com ,
remove the obvious to reply

Either that or your parents picked their battle! ;o)

--
Carole
Champlain, NY
http://photos.yahoo.com/ceridwen_rhea

Treasure your Mind, Cherish your Reason, Hold to your Purpose
Epictetus (52 c.e - 135 c.e.)


"Cats" wrote in message
...
LOL - my sister was not allowed out without her harness
until she was about 5yo. Apparently I never had one. I
suspect just the threat of wearing one would have been
enough for me to have toed the line LOL

--

Cheryl & the Cats
_ _ _ _ _ _
( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y )
~ ~ ~
Enness Boofhead Donut
Now in hibernation with a wake-up call for Spring!
http://community.webshots.com/user/witchofthewest
catsatararatATyahooDOTcomDOTau

On Fri, 16 Jun 2006 15:47:10 GMT, "Kathy Applebaum"
wrote:


"Sandy Foster" wrote in message
...


Polly, I had the same leash for my two almost 30 years ago. Things had
changed enough by then, though, that people gave me dirty looks and told
me I was treating my DDs as though they were dogs. Hmmph! Better a
*safe* and leashed DD than one who could dart away and knock over a
display of glass vases, doing harm to herself as well as breaking the
vases! I wish more parents used those leashes to keep their children
safe. :S

I used to work for a man who had toddler triplets -- the leash was a life
saver (probably literally!) for them. When people used to tell him he was
cruel, he'd tell them he'd love to hear a great alternative. No one ever had
one.

A friend of mine always told people that she would rather have a
leashed child than an abducted or lost child. Her son even liked the
leash because he knew he couldn't get lost in a crowd as long as mommy
had the other end. He could put the wrist strap on himself at the age
of three.
Debra in VA
See my quilts at
http://community.webshots.com/user/debplayshere

We always told my nieces and nephew that the were being attached to an adult
so that that adult wouldn't get lost......................it worked a treat,
they didn't want Grandma/Aunty Megwen to get lost!

Megwen
Bath, England

"Debra" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 16 Jun 2006 15:47:10 GMT, "Kathy Applebaum"
wrote:


"Sandy Foster" wrote in message
...


Polly, I had the same leash for my two almost 30 years ago. Things had
changed enough by then, though, that people gave me dirty looks and told
me I was treating my DDs as though they were dogs. Hmmph! Better a
*safe* and leashed DD than one who could dart away and knock over a
display of glass vases, doing harm to herself as well as breaking the
vases! I wish more parents used those leashes to keep their children
safe. :S

I used to work for a man who had toddler triplets -- the leash was a life
saver (probably literally!) for them. When people used to tell him he was
cruel, he'd tell them he'd love to hear a great alternative. No one ever
had
one.

A friend of mine always told people that she would rather have a
leashed child than an abducted or lost child. Her son even liked the
leash because he knew he couldn't get lost in a crowd as long as mommy
had the other end. He could put the wrist strap on himself at the age
of three.
Debra in VA
See my quilts at
http://community.webshots.com/user/debplayshere