Absolutely OT and only the Aussies will understand it all

Facts about Orstray'ya!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.

The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.

Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a
new art gallery,
there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a
sausage sizzle.

If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's
probably a media
billionaire. Or, on the other hand, he could be a wharfie.

There is no food that cannot be improved by the application
of tomato sauce
(theoretically speaking).

On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by
placing them
inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.

All our best heroes are losers.

The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue
tongs from the
hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.

It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.

Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can
be traced to
the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the late
1800s, and the
development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship".
Alternatively,
Australians may just be really hopeless with names.

The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to
himself, but
also to the mosquitoes.

If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, then
it's not worth
fixing.

The most popular and widely praised family in any street is
the one that
has the swimming pool.

It's considered better to be 'down on your luck' than 'up
yourself'.

The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in
the family drinks
too much.

If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and
then spend all
night drinking the host's beer. (Don't worry, he will have
catered for it).

If there's any sort of free event, or party, within a
hundred kilometres,
you'd be a mug not to go.

The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take
everything you
own. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car,
then you're not
trying.

The tarred road always ends just after the house of the
local mayor.

On picnics, the esky is always too small, creating a
food-versus-alcohol
battle that can only ever be resolved by leaving the salad
or bread rolls at
home.

When on a country holiday, the neon sign advertising the
motel's pool will
always be slightly larger than the pool itself.

The men are tough, but the women can be tougher.

The chief test of personal strength is one's ability to
install a beach
umbrella in high winds.

There comes a time in every Australian's life when he/she
realises that the
Aerogard is worse than the flies.

--

Cheryl & the Cats in OZ
o o o o
( Y ) ( Y )
Boofhead Donut
http://community.webshots.com/user/witchofthewest
catsatararatATyahooDOTcomDOTau

How true Cheryl, but just a couple of personal alterations.....

The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue
tongs from the
hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.
If Roger is attending it is *always* his job.

If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, then
it's not worth
fixing.
These days it seems to be cable ties and electrical/ gaffa tape.


Dee in Oz

Gaffa tape - aka "instant air frame" to those in the
RAAF!

--

Cheryl & the Cats in OZ
o o o o
( Y ) ( Y )
Boofhead Donut
http://community.webshots.com/user/witchofthewest
catsatararatATyahooDOTcomDOTau


"Dee in Oz" wrote in message
ups.com...
: How true Cheryl, but just a couple of personal
alterations.....
:
: The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue
: tongs from the
: hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.
: If Roger is attending it is *always* his job.
:
: If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, then
: it's not worth
: fixing.
: These days it seems to be cable ties and electrical/ gaffa
tape.
:
:
: Dee in Oz
:
:
:

I totally agree.

--
Di Maloney
Please remove 1 from email address to reply direct.
"CATS" wrote in message
...
| Facts about Orstray'ya!
| ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
|
| The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.
|
| The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.
|
| Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a
| new art gallery,
| there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a
| sausage sizzle.
|
| If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's
| probably a media
| billionaire. Or, on the other hand, he could be a wharfie.
|
| There is no food that cannot be improved by the application
| of tomato sauce
| (theoretically speaking).
|
| On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by
| placing them
| inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.
|
| All our best heroes are losers.
|
| The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue
| tongs from the
| hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.
|
| It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.
|
| Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can
| be traced to
| the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the late
| 1800s, and the
| development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship".
| Alternatively,
| Australians may just be really hopeless with names.
|
| The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to
| himself, but
| also to the mosquitoes.
|
| If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, then
| it's not worth
| fixing.
|
| The most popular and widely praised family in any street is
| the one that
| has the swimming pool.
|
| It's considered better to be 'down on your luck' than 'up
| yourself'.
|
| The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in
| the family drinks
| too much.
|
| If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and
| then spend all
| night drinking the host's beer. (Don't worry, he will have
| catered for it).
|
| If there's any sort of free event, or party, within a
| hundred kilometres,
| you'd be a mug not to go.
|
| The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take
| everything you
| own. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car,
| then you're not
| trying.
|
| The tarred road always ends just after the house of the
| local mayor.
|
| On picnics, the esky is always too small, creating a
| food-versus-alcohol
| battle that can only ever be resolved by leaving the salad
| or bread rolls at
| home.
|
| When on a country holiday, the neon sign advertising the
| motel's pool will
| always be slightly larger than the pool itself.
|
| The men are tough, but the women can be tougher.
|
| The chief test of personal strength is one's ability to
| install a beach
| umbrella in high winds.
|
| There comes a time in every Australian's life when he/she
| realises that the
| Aerogard is worse than the flies.
|
| --
|
| Cheryl & the Cats in OZ
| o o o o
| ( Y ) ( Y )
| Boofhead Donut
| http://community.webshots.com/user/witchofthewest
| catsatararatATyahooDOTcomDOTau
|
|
|

Thanks, Cheryl, those were great! You know, they would apply quite nicely
to Minnesota, too. Especially the one about a partner who is attractive to
mosquitoes!

I might add that the saying in Minnesota is, "If you can't fix it with
baling wire/twine, duct tape or WD-40, it's not worth owning."

My late, lamented and dearly loved father was a mechanic who worked on all
the cop cars in our home county but never had time to fix his own cars. The
local Hiway Patrolman stopped him once for a taillight that was out, and
when he reached the car he said, "@(#*$^, McCarty, you're a mechanic! Can't
you at least hang a lantern on it?"

Thanks again for the laughs!

--
Carolyn in The Old Pueblo

If it ain't broke, you're not trying. --Red Green
If it ain't broke, it ain't mine. --Carolyn McCarty

If at first you don't succeed, switch to power tools. --Red Green
If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer. --Carolyn McCarty

"CATS" wrote in message
...
Facts about Orstray'ya!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.

The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.

Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a
new art gallery,
there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a
sausage sizzle.

If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's
probably a media
billionaire. Or, on the other hand, he could be a wharfie.

There is no food that cannot be improved by the application
of tomato sauce
(theoretically speaking).

On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by
placing them
inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.

All our best heroes are losers.

The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue
tongs from the
hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.

It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.

Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can
be traced to
the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the late
1800s, and the
development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship".
Alternatively,
Australians may just be really hopeless with names.

The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to
himself, but
also to the mosquitoes.

If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, then
it's not worth
fixing.

The most popular and widely praised family in any street is
the one that
has the swimming pool.

It's considered better to be 'down on your luck' than 'up
yourself'.

The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in
the family drinks
too much.

If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and
then spend all
night drinking the host's beer. (Don't worry, he will have
catered for it).

If there's any sort of free event, or party, within a
hundred kilometres,
you'd be a mug not to go.

The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take
everything you
own. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car,
then you're not
trying.

The tarred road always ends just after the house of the
local mayor.

On picnics, the esky is always too small, creating a
food-versus-alcohol
battle that can only ever be resolved by leaving the salad
or bread rolls at
home.

When on a country holiday, the neon sign advertising the
motel's pool will
always be slightly larger than the pool itself.

The men are tough, but the women can be tougher.

The chief test of personal strength is one's ability to
install a beach
umbrella in high winds.

There comes a time in every Australian's life when he/she
realises that the
Aerogard is worse than the flies.

--

Cheryl & the Cats in OZ
o o o o
( Y ) ( Y )
Boofhead Donut
http://community.webshots.com/user/witchofthewest
catsatararatATyahooDOTcomDOTau

On Fri, 23 Feb 2007 17:05:03 -0600, CATS wrote
(in article ):



On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by
placing them
inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.

Works in "Merica too. Everyone in the Midwest hides their keys in their
shoes.


The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue
tongs from the
hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.

I don't know what a "snag" is, but I can understand the alpha male part. In
the midwest its the guy with the tongs turning the brats.



If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, then
it's not worth
fixing.

And here I thought it was duct tape. :-)

The most popular and widely praised family in any street is
the one that
has the swimming pool.

Same here.



The tarred road always ends just after the house of the
local mayor.

The plowed road is always the one the mayor lives on.



The men are tough, but the women can be tougher.

In at least Lake Woebegon, the women are strong, the men are good looking,
and all the children are above-average.




Maureen

brats = sausages = snags

--

Cheryl & the Cats in OZ
o o o o
( Y ) ( Y )
Boofhead Donut
http://community.webshots.com/user/witchofthewest
catsatararatATyahooDOTcomDOTau


"Maureen Wozniak" wrote in message
lobal.net...
: On Fri, 23 Feb 2007 17:05:03 -0600, CATS wrote
: (in article ):
:
:
:
: On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and
wallets by
: placing them
: inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this
out.
:
: Works in "Merica too. Everyone in the Midwest hides their
keys in their
: shoes.
:
:
: The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue
: tongs from the
: hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.
:
: I don't know what a "snag" is, but I can understand the
alpha male part. In
: the midwest its the guy with the tongs turning the brats.
:
:
:
: If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire,
then
: it's not worth
: fixing.
:
: And here I thought it was duct tape. :-)
:
: The most popular and widely praised family in any street
is
: the one that
: has the swimming pool.
:
: Same here.
:
:
:
: The tarred road always ends just after the house of the
: local mayor.
:
: The plowed road is always the one the mayor lives on.
:
:
:
: The men are tough, but the women can be tougher.
:
: In at least Lake Woebegon, the women are strong, the men
are good looking,
: and all the children are above-average.
:
:
:
:
: Maureen
:

You only need two items in your tool box -- duct tape and WD-40. If it
moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. If it should move but doesn't,
use WD-40.

Julia in MN
Carolyn McCarty wrote:

I might add that the saying in Minnesota is, "If you can't fix it with
baling wire/twine, duct tape or WD-40, it's not worth owning."



--
This message has been scanned for viruses by Norton Anti-Virus

http://webpages.charter.net/jaccola/

At least in Oklahoma, the baling wire is to keep its butt from dragging on
the ground. Whatever's butt. (though usually a vehicle muffler....)

--pig


On 2/23/07 21:59, in article , "Julia in MN"
wrote:

You only need two items in your tool box -- duct tape and WD-40. If it
moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. If it should move but doesn't,
use WD-40.

Julia in MN
Carolyn McCarty wrote:

I might add that the saying in Minnesota is, "If you can't fix it with
baling wire/twine, duct tape or WD-40, it's not worth owning."

Here on the farm in Idaho, if it can't be fixed with baling twine or duck
tape, it's not worth fixing. That's the first items my DH packs anytime
we're going anyplace!

Donna in Idaho



If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, then
it's not worth
fixing.

Cheryl & the Cats in OZ
o o o o
( Y ) ( Y )
Boofhead Donut
http://community.webshots.com/user/witchofthewest
catsatararatATyahooDOTcomDOTau