Terribly OT opinions requested...

My point EXACTLY Sooz....never gave birth (ok, maybe she had more of her share of cows when I was in highschool and
college but I don't think that they count) and doesn't know the pain that is involved. I told her more than once that
day to stuff it.

Karlee in Kansas

--
Visit my web page! www.angelfire.com/ks3/karlee/index.html
Our family page: http://groups.msn.com/brennanfamilypage


--
"Dr. Sooz" wrote in message ...
| I got yelled at by my mom because I was in hella pain and making it known
| that
| I was rather uncomfortable with each contraction (this is before the relief
| of my epidural). Mom said "Quit yelling
| about it. It doesn't hurt THAT bad"
|
| This totally cracked me up (in a not-nice way) -- How the hell would she know?
| As you said, she never had a kid, you were adopted! Jeeeeez
| ~~
| Sooz
| -------
| ESBC
| ~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links
| http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html
| ~ Bead Notes: Beading information A - Z
| http://www.lampwork.net/beadnotes.html
|

"Karlee, Your mom needs to take a pill. Or, as I've suggested befo
tranquilizer darts. Slip some roofies in her drink, and let her wake up a
week later, a cast member in the worldwide tour of "Up with People!" :-)"

Haw haw haw haw!! ---Hey, is this possible? I have some candidates for this
treatment......
~~
Sooz
-------
ESBC
~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links
http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html
~ Bead Notes: Beading information A - Z
http://www.lampwork.net/beadnotes.html

| Maybe you could let your mom and dh's parents in
| a few hours after for a short visit just to see the new babe and then ask if
| they'll wait till you are home, or maybe you'll decide the next day you might
| want them to visit.

Good idea in theory, but mom won't leave when asked. Not when I ask her anyway. Its like I don't have a brain and
can't deicide for myself when I've had enough. She is more impossible to deal with than a brick wall at times.

DH's mother WILL NOT be allowed ANYWHERE near me for a long damn time. She won't be able to get on ft riley after next
month. Period. Please, don't think for one damn minute that she will be allowed to even SEE these kids, ever, much
less while I'm in the hospital. If there is any question on this, there is a thread about it archived on google (OT
going to be gone UPDATE) that thoroughly explains why I don't want this bitch near me or the kids.

If I have a VBAC, I'll be kept for a minimum of 36 hours, and if I have a c-section I'll be kept for a minimum of 72
hours. Hospital policy. I say minimum because my doc is threatening already to keep me double the length that HP
states....due to MAJOR complications after my first delivery (I almost died because of a staph infection that went to my
brain following surgery)

Hugs
Karlee in Kansas

You misunderstand. Pregancies have been very hard on her. And while there
are good reasons to hold off on "becoming sterile" at the young age of 27
and that she might want children (later), the biggest consideration is it
(having children) might damage her health.

You always have to look at both sides of the consequences when you make a
decision of this great importance.

I had a miscarriage in my 20s, after I already had 2 children, at 18 and 20,
and I was talked out of tubal ligation. Had one done instead at 35. I wish
it had been done earlier. But I understand why it was discouraged. My
husband also has been "fixed".

Tina



"Linda D." wrote in message
news:3f157814.3779081@news...

In what way does a tubal ligation damage one's health? I had
it done 19 yrs. ago at age 27 and have had no after effects at all.

take care, Linda


On Wed, 16 Jul 2003 08:15:54 GMT, "Christina Peterson"
wrote:

But 27 is still very young to be certain that she will never remarry and
wish for children. The biggest consideration is that it might damage her
health.

What I really hesitate to say though, is that coming from a family with
such
trauma as she has told us of quite often, limiting children is also a
good
idea.

Tina

Vancouver Island, bc.ca (remove 'nospam' to reply)
See samples of my work at: www.members.shaw.ca/deugau

trust me when I tell you, you may as well learn to extend a little
bit more now, because you will stretch thinner and thinner unless you
increase the reserve of nurturing and compassion - the more you give, the
fuller your own supply will become!

Oh dear, I have to so, so disagree with this. You will stretch thinner and
thinner, yes, unless you learn to say "No" and mean it. Nurturing your entire
family at all costs will kill you in the long run. Being an all-encompassing
nurturer is a myth women have been fed for centuries. It literally leads to
illness, physical and mental. Set some boundaries -- you know what you need --
and stick to them, or you'll get eaten alive eventually.
~~
Sooz
-------
ESBC
~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links
http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html
~ Bead Notes: Beading information A - Z
http://www.lampwork.net/beadnotes.html

1. You have a perfect right to ask for people, including your Mom, not to
be in the delivery room.

For years and years and *years*, NO ONE [family] was allowed in the delivery
room. Husbands had to wait outside, for crying out loud. All this
crowd-watching-the-birth stuff is insane, IMO. Have the dad in there, or
whoever is the Lamaze partner, and that's it. What are people thinking?!? I
would bet that your mom's birth, back in the 40s or 50s, had only her MOTHER in
the delivery room. Period. :-P
~~
Sooz
-------
ESBC
~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links
http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html
~ Bead Notes: Beading information A - Z
http://www.lampwork.net/beadnotes.html

3. Think long and hard about the sterilization. What if, god forbid, you
were in an accident and you lost your children.

Okay.....Why is it that people need to create genetic children in order to be
fulfilled as parents? There are over 6 billion people on this Earth. There
were less than 3 billion when I was born! Is no one paying attention to this?
~~
Sooz
-------
ESBC
~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links
http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html
~ Bead Notes: Beading information A - Z
http://www.lampwork.net/beadnotes.html

| I heard that "what if..." a long time ago. I think you should pay careful
| attention to the possibility (in today's society, even a likelihood) that
| you might remarry and want children. But your physical well-being is even
| more important.
|


*If* (and that is a very very loose if....neither one of us wants to go through that again, and have "contingency plans"
in place in case we run into trouble) this marriage ends in divorce, I'm done with marriage. This is #2 for me, both
marriage wise and kid wise. Besides, adoption is a possibility, and *if* I do happen to get divorced again and then
remarried, the chance of him having kids of his own is greater than of him not having kids of his own. (DH and I have a
very stable, secure, loving relationship. Both of us have been married before, and are older and more mature now. I
know myself and I know my husband, and I know that divorce is not in our future. We went through extensive premarital
counseling, and are still going through marital counseling, but not because of problems....we are learning how to avoid
and work through any problems that may arise.)

There is also the financial end of things. DH and I have asked ourselves if we honestly think that we have the
financial resources to support more than two kids, and the answer is no. We don't. Two is plenty for us.

The biggest reason that we are going to get fixed is because of health issues. Both of these pregnancies have been pure
hell on my body, and I don't think that I want to go through it again. I have a history of pre-term labor. First
pregnancy the pt started at 26 weeks. This time it waited until 29 weeks, but I couldn't have the "usual" meds that
they use to stop it because during my first experience we determined that I'm allergic....severely allergic to some of
the "usual" meds. My first delivery was followed by a severe staph infection that went to my brain, sent me into shock,
then into a coma. The docs are going to do everything possible to try to stop that from happening again, but this
delivery will probably be just as difficult as the 18.5 hours that I went through the first time. Under no
circumstances do I want a repeat of any of that. Hence, sterilization. No pills to remember, no shots to forget
about....no surprises either.

I do appreciate your thoughts though...and it isn't something that we haven't talked about already.

Hugs
Karlee in Kansas

I absolutely agree with everything you said. I was NOT recomending you put
off the surgery, just that you think it through. Looks like you did a good
job of it.

Tina


"Karlee in Kansas" wrote in message
...


| I heard that "what if..." a long time ago. I think you should pay
careful
| attention to the possibility (in today's society, even a likelihood)
that
| you might remarry and want children. But your physical well-being is
even
| more important.
|


*If* (and that is a very very loose if....neither one of us wants to go
through that again, and have "contingency plans"
in place in case we run into trouble) this marriage ends in divorce, I'm
done with marriage. This is #2 for me, both
marriage wise and kid wise. Besides, adoption is a possibility, and *if*
I do happen to get divorced again and then
remarried, the chance of him having kids of his own is greater than of him
not having kids of his own. (DH and I have a
very stable, secure, loving relationship. Both of us have been married
before, and are older and more mature now. I
know myself and I know my husband, and I know that divorce is not in our
future. We went through extensive premarital
counseling, and are still going through marital counseling, but not
because of problems....we are learning how to avoid
and work through any problems that may arise.)

There is also the financial end of things. DH and I have asked ourselves
if we honestly think that we have the
financial resources to support more than two kids, and the answer is no.
We don't. Two is plenty for us.

The biggest reason that we are going to get fixed is because of health
issues. Both of these pregnancies have been pure
hell on my body, and I don't think that I want to go through it again. I
have a history of pre-term labor. First
pregnancy the pt started at 26 weeks. This time it waited until 29 weeks,
but I couldn't have the "usual" meds that
they use to stop it because during my first experience we determined that
I'm allergic....severely allergic to some of
the "usual" meds. My first delivery was followed by a severe staph
infection that went to my brain, sent me into shock,
then into a coma. The docs are going to do everything possible to try to
stop that from happening again, but this
delivery will probably be just as difficult as the 18.5 hours that I went
through the first time. Under no
circumstances do I want a repeat of any of that. Hence, sterilization.
No pills to remember, no shots to forget
about....no surprises either.

I do appreciate your thoughts though...and it isn't something that we
haven't talked about already.

Hugs
Karlee in Kansas

Even among women who have had children, some deliveries are much more
painful than others. And some people feel pain more strongly than others.
My 2nd sister used to have her teeth drilled without anesthetic. So even
experience doesn't tell you what someone else will go through. Mom and my
oldest sister just "popped out" their babies, while I was literally
dilerious with pain for my first, and needed an epidural for my second.

Tina


"Dr. Sooz" wrote in message
...
I got yelled at by my mom because I was in hella pain and making it known
that
I was rather uncomfortable with each contraction (this is before the
relief
of my epidural). Mom said "Quit yelling
about it. It doesn't hurt THAT bad"

This totally cracked me up (in a not-nice way) -- How the hell would she
know?
As you said, she never had a kid, you were adopted! Jeeeeez
~~
Sooz
-------
ESBC
~ Dr. Sooz's Bead Links
http://airandearth.netfirms.com/soozlinkslist.html
~ Bead Notes: Beading information A - Z
http://www.lampwork.net/beadnotes.html