Death of a Quilt Hero

No, it's not the slow death of cancer or the quick one of using that
fat quarter of imported brown batik to clean up after changing the oil
in the car (hey, it looked like an oily rag). No, this was "death by
Alex Anderson."
Let's roll back a couple of days. The blushing bride is going out of
town, to, surprise, surprise, a quilt show. One of her requests of me
was to take some of the 30 plus hours of Simply Quilts reruns that
she's recorded on the Digital Video Recorder (DVR) and transfer them
to the DVD Recorder so she can save them to DVD.
No problemo, I'm a computer geek. I'll download them from one system
and upload them on another. Whoops, the cable company's DVR won't let
that happen. The USB port is disabled.
Okay, do it the old fashion way. "What's that Dear? You don't want
the commercials? But, but that means..."
"Yes."
"You can't possibly mean..."
"Yes I can."
"I've got to WATCH the shows!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
So, I start recording them, one at a time. Without commercials, I'm
cutting a half hour show down to between 19 and a half and 23
minutes.
Hour two, this isn't so bad. She's got a big smile.
Hour three, I've almost got her commercial breaks timed.
Hour four, hey, that technique to hand dye silk is pretty cool.
Hour six, oh for Pete's sake. Will you look at the points on that
guest's quilt? They've got to be a quarter inch off each and every
one! What was she thinking fussy cutting that stripe fabric on the
bias?
Hour eight, DON"T LET NANCY KIRK IN FRONT OF A SEWING MACHINE!!!
She's a quilt historian, not a quilter.
Hour twelve, Okay Alex, stop smiling and stop talking to me like I'm
an idiot. I know the how to use a roller cutter.
Hour fifteen..... Getting sucked in... Must stop.. but that technique
on the Nigerian quilts is so cool..
Hour seventeen and a half... Alex, look at that hair style. What were
you thinking?
Hour twenty two.. CRASH!! The door gets kicked in. Five male friends
rush into the room and grab me. "It's an intervention, Frank. It was
either you or Brittany Spears and you look better with your head
shaved." "But,,, they're going to demonstrate Origami quilting!!!
Let me goooooo!!!"
Now, I'm writing from the drag strip. We're waiting for the races to
start. This being the first week of March in Nebraska, we've got a
long wait. I said they were friends, didn't say they were smart.
Hmm, I wonder if I can do a cigar silk type quilt out of these wrist
bands.
Frank Reid

Where was the spew warning on that????? Waaaaaay too funny! I think you've
topped Popser!
I hope your blushing bride appreciates you! If not, you know you can come
to the newsgroup and get your props.
Thanks for the giggle.

--
Kathyl (KJ)
remove "nospam" before mchsi
http://community.webshots.com/user/kathylquiltz
"Flytyer37" wrote in message
oups.com...
No, it's not the slow death of cancer or the quick one of using that
fat quarter of imported brown batik to clean up after changing the oil
in the car (hey, it looked like an oily rag). No, this was "death by
Alex Anderson."
Let's roll back a couple of days. The blushing bride is going out of
town, to, surprise, surprise, a quilt show. One of her requests of me
was to take some of the 30 plus hours of Simply Quilts reruns that
she's recorded on the Digital Video Recorder (DVR) and transfer them
to the DVD Recorder so she can save them to DVD.
No problemo, I'm a computer geek. I'll download them from one system
and upload them on another. Whoops, the cable company's DVR won't let
that happen. The USB port is disabled.
Okay, do it the old fashion way. "What's that Dear? You don't want
the commercials? But, but that means..."
"Yes."
"You can't possibly mean..."
"Yes I can."
"I've got to WATCH the shows!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
So, I start recording them, one at a time. Without commercials, I'm
cutting a half hour show down to between 19 and a half and 23
minutes.
Hour two, this isn't so bad. She's got a big smile.
Hour three, I've almost got her commercial breaks timed.
Hour four, hey, that technique to hand dye silk is pretty cool.
Hour six, oh for Pete's sake. Will you look at the points on that
guest's quilt? They've got to be a quarter inch off each and every
one! What was she thinking fussy cutting that stripe fabric on the
bias?
Hour eight, DON"T LET NANCY KIRK IN FRONT OF A SEWING MACHINE!!!
She's a quilt historian, not a quilter.
Hour twelve, Okay Alex, stop smiling and stop talking to me like I'm
an idiot. I know the how to use a roller cutter.
Hour fifteen..... Getting sucked in... Must stop.. but that technique
on the Nigerian quilts is so cool..
Hour seventeen and a half... Alex, look at that hair style. What were
you thinking?
Hour twenty two.. CRASH!! The door gets kicked in. Five male friends
rush into the room and grab me. "It's an intervention, Frank. It was
either you or Brittany Spears and you look better with your head
shaved." "But,,, they're going to demonstrate Origami quilting!!!
Let me goooooo!!!"
Now, I'm writing from the drag strip. We're waiting for the races to
start. This being the first week of March in Nebraska, we've got a
long wait. I said they were friends, didn't say they were smart.
Hmm, I wonder if I can do a cigar silk type quilt out of these wrist
bands.
Frank Reid

OMG - that was the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

Thanks Frank.....

--
Cindy from MO


"Flytyer37" wrote in message
oups.com...
No, it's not the slow death of cancer or the quick one of using that
fat quarter of imported brown batik to clean up after changing the oil
in the car (hey, it looked like an oily rag). No, this was "death by
Alex Anderson."
Let's roll back a couple of days. The blushing bride is going out of
town, to, surprise, surprise, a quilt show. One of her requests of me
was to take some of the 30 plus hours of Simply Quilts reruns that
she's recorded on the Digital Video Recorder (DVR) and transfer them
to the DVD Recorder so she can save them to DVD.
No problemo, I'm a computer geek. I'll download them from one system
and upload them on another. Whoops, the cable company's DVR won't let
that happen. The USB port is disabled.
Okay, do it the old fashion way. "What's that Dear? You don't want
the commercials? But, but that means..."
"Yes."
"You can't possibly mean..."
"Yes I can."
"I've got to WATCH the shows!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
So, I start recording them, one at a time. Without commercials, I'm
cutting a half hour show down to between 19 and a half and 23
minutes.
Hour two, this isn't so bad. She's got a big smile.
Hour three, I've almost got her commercial breaks timed.
Hour four, hey, that technique to hand dye silk is pretty cool.
Hour six, oh for Pete's sake. Will you look at the points on that
guest's quilt? They've got to be a quarter inch off each and every
one! What was she thinking fussy cutting that stripe fabric on the
bias?
Hour eight, DON"T LET NANCY KIRK IN FRONT OF A SEWING MACHINE!!!
She's a quilt historian, not a quilter.
Hour twelve, Okay Alex, stop smiling and stop talking to me like I'm
an idiot. I know the how to use a roller cutter.
Hour fifteen..... Getting sucked in... Must stop.. but that technique
on the Nigerian quilts is so cool..
Hour seventeen and a half... Alex, look at that hair style. What were
you thinking?
Hour twenty two.. CRASH!! The door gets kicked in. Five male friends
rush into the room and grab me. "It's an intervention, Frank. It was
either you or Brittany Spears and you look better with your head
shaved." "But,,, they're going to demonstrate Origami quilting!!!
Let me goooooo!!!"
Now, I'm writing from the drag strip. We're waiting for the races to
start. This being the first week of March in Nebraska, we've got a
long wait. I said they were friends, didn't say they were smart.
Hmm, I wonder if I can do a cigar silk type quilt out of these wrist
bands.
Frank Reid

ROTFL..... thanks for the laugh, Frank.

--
Mary
http://community.webshots.com/user/mardor1948
"Flytyer37" wrote in message
oups.com...
: No, it's not the slow death of cancer or the quick one of using that
: fat quarter of imported brown batik to clean up after changing the oil
: in the car (hey, it looked like an oily rag). No, this was "death by
: Alex Anderson."
: Let's roll back a couple of days. The blushing bride is going out of
: town, to, surprise, surprise, a quilt show. One of her requests of me
: was to take some of the 30 plus hours of Simply Quilts reruns that
: she's recorded on the Digital Video Recorder (DVR) and transfer them
: to the DVD Recorder so she can save them to DVD.
: No problemo, I'm a computer geek. I'll download them from one system
: and upload them on another. Whoops, the cable company's DVR won't let
: that happen. The USB port is disabled.
: Okay, do it the old fashion way. "What's that Dear? You don't want
: the commercials? But, but that means..."
: "Yes."
: "You can't possibly mean..."
: "Yes I can."
: "I've got to WATCH the shows!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
: So, I start recording them, one at a time. Without commercials, I'm
: cutting a half hour show down to between 19 and a half and 23
: minutes.
: Hour two, this isn't so bad. She's got a big smile.
: Hour three, I've almost got her commercial breaks timed.
: Hour four, hey, that technique to hand dye silk is pretty cool.
: Hour six, oh for Pete's sake. Will you look at the points on that
: guest's quilt? They've got to be a quarter inch off each and every
: one! What was she thinking fussy cutting that stripe fabric on the
: bias?
: Hour eight, DON"T LET NANCY KIRK IN FRONT OF A SEWING MACHINE!!!
: She's a quilt historian, not a quilter.
: Hour twelve, Okay Alex, stop smiling and stop talking to me like I'm
: an idiot. I know the how to use a roller cutter.
: Hour fifteen..... Getting sucked in... Must stop.. but that technique
: on the Nigerian quilts is so cool..
: Hour seventeen and a half... Alex, look at that hair style. What were
: you thinking?
: Hour twenty two.. CRASH!! The door gets kicked in. Five male friends
: rush into the room and grab me. "It's an intervention, Frank. It was
: either you or Brittany Spears and you look better with your head
: shaved." "But,,, they're going to demonstrate Origami quilting!!!
: Let me goooooo!!!"
: Now, I'm writing from the drag strip. We're waiting for the races to
: start. This being the first week of March in Nebraska, we've got a
: long wait. I said they were friends, didn't say they were smart.
: Hmm, I wonder if I can do a cigar silk type quilt out of these wrist
: bands.
: Frank Reid
:

Thanks for the laugh Frank. You are a patient man IMO. That Alex knows
about quilting but she drives me bonkers. Your bride probably knows
enough that she could have been the star and then it would have been
more fun to watch.
You are a good man.
How's the house coming along?
Taria

Flytyer37 wrote:

No, it's not the slow death of cancer or the quick one of using that
fat quarter of imported brown batik to clean up after changing the oil
in the car (hey, it looked like an oily rag). No, this was "death by
Alex Anderson."
Let's roll back a couple of days. The blushing bride is going out of
town, to, surprise, surprise, a quilt show. One of her requests of me
was to take some of the 30 plus hours of Simply Quilts reruns that
she's recorded on the Digital Video Recorder (DVR) and transfer them
to the DVD Recorder so she can save them to DVD.
No problemo, I'm a computer geek. I'll download them from one system
and upload them on another. Whoops, the cable company's DVR won't let
that happen. The USB port is disabled.
Okay, do it the old fashion way. "What's that Dear? You don't want
the commercials? But, but that means..."
"Yes."
"You can't possibly mean..."
"Yes I can."
"I've got to WATCH the shows!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
So, I start recording them, one at a time. Without commercials, I'm
cutting a half hour show down to between 19 and a half and 23
minutes.
Hour two, this isn't so bad. She's got a big smile.
Hour three, I've almost got her commercial breaks timed.
Hour four, hey, that technique to hand dye silk is pretty cool.
Hour six, oh for Pete's sake. Will you look at the points on that
guest's quilt? They've got to be a quarter inch off each and every
one! What was she thinking fussy cutting that stripe fabric on the
bias?
Hour eight, DON"T LET NANCY KIRK IN FRONT OF A SEWING MACHINE!!!
She's a quilt historian, not a quilter.
Hour twelve, Okay Alex, stop smiling and stop talking to me like I'm
an idiot. I know the how to use a roller cutter.
Hour fifteen..... Getting sucked in... Must stop.. but that technique
on the Nigerian quilts is so cool..
Hour seventeen and a half... Alex, look at that hair style. What were
you thinking?
Hour twenty two.. CRASH!! The door gets kicked in. Five male friends
rush into the room and grab me. "It's an intervention, Frank. It was
either you or Brittany Spears and you look better with your head
shaved." "But,,, they're going to demonstrate Origami quilting!!!
Let me goooooo!!!"
Now, I'm writing from the drag strip. We're waiting for the races to
start. This being the first week of March in Nebraska, we've got a
long wait. I said they were friends, didn't say they were smart.
Hmm, I wonder if I can do a cigar silk type quilt out of these wrist
bands.
Frank Reid

On Mar 5, 6:05 pm, Taria wrote:
Thanks for the laugh Frank. You are a patient man IMO. That Alex knows
about quilting but she drives me bonkers. Your bride probably knows
enough that she could have been the star and then it would have been
more fun to watch.
You are a good man.
How's the house coming along?
Taria

Well, the bride didn't want to start till she got a job. Something
about not deciding on paying a builder and the daughter's college
tuition at the same time. Well, she got a job, well paying at that.
As a matter of fact, in the same place I work.
We're going back to the builder, getting new bids... Same old story.
Should break ground about the first of May.
Thanks for asking.
Frank Reid

In article .com,
"Flytyer37" wrote:

No, it's not the slow death of cancer or the quick one of using that
fat quarter of imported brown batik to clean up after changing the oil
in the car (hey, it looked like an oily rag). No, this was "death by
Alex Anderson."
Let's roll back a couple of days. The blushing bride is going out of
town, to, surprise, surprise, a quilt show. One of her requests of me
was to take some of the 30 plus hours of Simply Quilts reruns that
she's recorded on the Digital Video Recorder (DVR) and transfer them
to the DVD Recorder so she can save them to DVD.
No problemo, I'm a computer geek. I'll download them from one system
and upload them on another. Whoops, the cable company's DVR won't let
that happen. The USB port is disabled.
Okay, do it the old fashion way. "What's that Dear? You don't want
the commercials? But, but that means..."
"Yes."
"You can't possibly mean..."
"Yes I can."
"I've got to WATCH the shows!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
So, I start recording them, one at a time. Without commercials, I'm
cutting a half hour show down to between 19 and a half and 23
minutes.
Hour two, this isn't so bad. She's got a big smile.
Hour three, I've almost got her commercial breaks timed.
Hour four, hey, that technique to hand dye silk is pretty cool.
Hour six, oh for Pete's sake. Will you look at the points on that
guest's quilt? They've got to be a quarter inch off each and every
one! What was she thinking fussy cutting that stripe fabric on the
bias?
Hour eight, DON"T LET NANCY KIRK IN FRONT OF A SEWING MACHINE!!!
She's a quilt historian, not a quilter.
Hour twelve, Okay Alex, stop smiling and stop talking to me like I'm
an idiot. I know the how to use a roller cutter.
Hour fifteen..... Getting sucked in... Must stop.. but that technique
on the Nigerian quilts is so cool..
Hour seventeen and a half... Alex, look at that hair style. What were
you thinking?
Hour twenty two.. CRASH!! The door gets kicked in. Five male friends
rush into the room and grab me. "It's an intervention, Frank. It was
either you or Brittany Spears and you look better with your head
shaved." "But,,, they're going to demonstrate Origami quilting!!!
Let me goooooo!!!"
Now, I'm writing from the drag strip. We're waiting for the races to
start. This being the first week of March in Nebraska, we've got a
long wait. I said they were friends, didn't say they were smart.
Hmm, I wonder if I can do a cigar silk type quilt out of these wrist
bands.
Frank Reid


ROFLOL! Frank, you're priceless! VBG

--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
sfoster 1 (at) earthlink (dot) net (remove/change the obvious)
http://home.earthlink.net/~sfoster1

I'm thinking Frank has joined the august heights of Popser and Mack here....

--pig

In article .com,
"Flytyer37" wrote:


Hour twelve, Okay Alex, stop smiling and stop talking to me like I'm
an idiot. I know the how to use a roller cutter.

I think you need to watch a bit more. It's a rotary cutter ;-)

Man needs more training.

marcella

Flytyer37 wrote:
No, it's not the slow death of cancer or the quick one of using that
fat quarter of imported brown batik to clean up after changing the oil
in the car (hey, it looked like an oily rag). No, this was "death by
Alex Anderson."
snip

I almost hate to tell you this but if you go to HGTV's website they have
hours of Simply Quilts videos online.
http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/video_guide/

Just do a search for simply quilts. =:-O
--
Jeri
"Change is inevitable, except from vending machines."