OT warning, bee in my bonnet

LOL I am thinking gator food!!! and Mary D said it well only instead of
honey I would probably use missy. Scott in CA

Wow Jeanne! ANd here i thought I was the queen of rambling (no, I don't
need another title..lol). As to the Aunt/Uncle for non-relatives, my
parents had friends that I was taught to call Aunt Emily and Uncle
Bob...whatever, I did so until I was old enough to figure out that they
weren't relatives and then they were Ms. Emily and Mr. Bob. Our
children call our closest friends Aunt and Uncle and their children call
us the same - they are our children's godparents. My Aunt Deborah isn't
my aunt at all, but my Godmother. However, my godfather has always been
Mr. Mike, but now he and his wife have said I could call them by their
first names. Guess it depends on the person/people involved. With
Mara, our representative at the mortgage company (she said to call her
Mara, btw) I have told her to stop calling me Mrs. Vann because we have
talked so much in the last week alone that it didn't make much sense.
At DSs karate dojo, EVERYONE is addressed as Mr. Mrs or Miss....to teach
the children respect. This I have an issue with at times as I am
calling 18yos Mr, but...no big deal.

As for the doctors offices, I just deal with it. I think the worst was
when we lived in Panama and rented a house in town. The landlord
insisted on calling me "Mrs. Kenneth", not Mrs. Larisa, Not Mrs.
'lastname', but Mrs. Kenneth. That sent me up the wall in a big way.
Every time he was there or called, I reminded him that my name was
Larisa and he could either use it or call me Mrs. 'lastname' He never
caught on, so I never talked to him after that..Grrrrrrrr

Now, I have to deal with the shortening of my childrens names..DS is NOT
Tommy!! And heaven forbid if you call DD Becky!!

Larisa, off her rocker and her soapbox

nzlstar* wrote:
i had a neighbour who insisted her kids call every neighbour and anyone who
they ever meet as auntie or uncle. i had no knowledge of this on first
meeting.
when they moved in, dh and i were out working in the garden, when one of her
boys came down the drive.
'hi there, i'm jeanne, welcome to the neighbourhood'
'hello, i am caleb'
he then wandered on home, returning about half an hour later and says
'auntie jeanne.....' no idea what else he said as i was trying to work out
why he'd called me auntie jeanne and wasnt really listening to him.
totally confused me as i'd never come across this before.
(yea, they also call him....uncle saddam, ewwwwwwww)
later i met his mother as asked her why he called me auntie.
she says cuz we teach the kids to call all friends, neighbours and
acquaintances auntie and uncle.
i told her i wasnt comfortable with that and would like them to call me
jeanne.
'oh no, they cant do that, it shows disrespect for adults.'
'its me they are talking to and i want them to call me jeanne.'
eventually i told her kids to call me jeanne or dont call me anything at
all. i even explained to the kids that calling me auntie when i did not like
it 'was disrespectful'.
this issue continued for the entire time they lived behind us and she never
did understand me, nor i her over it. we didnt even agree to disagree. i did
not like her or her kids, as it turned out.
this whole issue drove me nuts. she also did not like cats at all and i had
three of them at the time, oh well. glad we moved from there.

i have never used a title. i never changed my name when we married. the
kids got a double barrreled last name(their choice on marriage and if they
have kids what to name them, lol).
all this back in the late/early 70s/80s. some of it was difficult for some
folks to understand but eventually they got the hang of it.
one of dh's bosses insisted on calling me mrs S. drove me nuts also. i
explained i didnt use dh last name at all for anything and just call me
jeanne. he thot it was a huge joke.
at one social at work i said, ask dh who mrs S is.
one of the younger women in the office went over and asked dh.
without even hesitatiing he says my mother why?
well the boss never called me mrs again.

at school as a parent helper, where they have the kids call all adults, mr,
mrs or ms, i explained i dont use a title, never ever had. just call me
jeanne. seems simple to me but they really didnt know how to cope. i
explained it to the kids and the kids had no problem with it at all. what a
hoot that was.
omg, did it again, off on a tangent on a simple issue, sorry bout that.
hugz,
jeanne
no title is why i dont use the one i had here long ago, just feels odd on
me somehow

Wonder how they would feel if you forgot to pay them?
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SNIGDIBBLY
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"Debra" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 22 Jul 2005 19:20:56 GMT, "pewter"
wrote:

Isn't that a normal procedure, stacking up the rooms and then having
overflow in the waiting room? Way before the HIPPA thing, we were living
in
Kansas, and one of my kids needed a procedure done at the doctor's office.
I took off work (which cost me wages), drove 10 miles to the small town
where we lived, 10 miles back to the town to see the doctor. When we got
to
the office, the procedure was to stop at the desk, check in, and receive a
filled out form with information on it...all which I did. Then we waited.
And waited. And waited. A girl came out and was straightening out the
magazine piles, and asked if I was waiting for someone. I said "Yes, to
see
Dr. C...." She blanched and went back into the netherworld of the clinic,
came back and told me that he and his staff had all left for the day.
Another trip back home, had to take another afternoon off work and repeat
the same steps...this time I got right in. They didn't charge for the
office call (big deal).

Most of the offices around here now have signs that read "If you are
not called in __ minutes please check with the reception desk." But
I've never seen anyone get called within the time limit. I've taken
to asking often just to keep my name on the list of those still
waiting because I have been many places that "We just forgot you were
here." was a fairly normal occurrence.
Debra in VA

I did that also. It was considered respectful but not as formal as Mr. and
Mrs.

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"Bonnie NJ" wrote in message
hlink.net...
I grew up in NE Philly and we also called our parents' friends "aunt or
uncle". When I think of these folks today it is still as Aunt Monica, etc.

--
Bonnie
NJ
" Ellison" wrote in message
...
Howdy!
It is also a Suth'ren custom to call an elder
"Aunt _ _ " or "Uncle _ _ " instead of by their last name IF
they have given one permission to do so.
We had many Aunts and Uncles when I was a kid,
esp. the Kentucky folks and some in Texas
(which isn't The South but is plenty close), who were
otherwise unrelated. G
When my kids bring home girlfriends w/ kids I tell the little ones
"You can call me Aunt Sandy" which they (so far) all seem to like.
Or it may be the closet full of toys I have waiting. g

Ragmop/Sandy--home from a Quilt Shop Road Trip

"Kate T." wrote in message
oups.com...
Hey Polly:

If I am called in a doctor's office, business office or where ever by
my first name I don't budge. When the young lady or man look puzzled I
speak up and say well there doesn't seem to be a Mr. or Mrs. Kate,
what's the last name. When they say my last name I then stand up.
They look at me with red faces. I bluntly tell them that we are not on
a first name basis, nor am I Tootsie or Sweety.

Polly you and I know about addressing your elders here in the South. It
a show of disrespect if you address your elders by their first name.
If you permit a person to address you other than Mrs. Esther, they
know to address you as Miss Polly.

If I am addressed by my first name by a total stranger, they have
stepped on my last nerve.

Kate

CNYstitcher wrote:
Wow Jeanne! ANd here i thought I was the queen of rambling (no, I don't
need another title..lol). As to the Aunt/Uncle for non-relatives, my
parents had friends that I was taught to call Aunt Emily and Uncle
Bob...whatever, I did so until I was old enough to figure out that they
weren't relatives and then they were Ms. Emily and Mr. Bob. Our
children call our closest friends Aunt and Uncle and their children call
us the same - they are our children's godparents. My Aunt Deborah isn't
my aunt at all, but my Godmother. However, my godfather has always been
Mr. Mike, but now he and his wife have said I could call them by their
first names. Guess it depends on the person/people involved. With
Mara, our representative at the mortgage company (she said to call her
Mara, btw) I have told her to stop calling me Mrs. Vann because we have
talked so much in the last week alone that it didn't make much sense.
At DSs karate dojo, EVERYONE is addressed as Mr. Mrs or Miss....to teach
the children respect. This I have an issue with at times as I am
calling 18yos Mr, but...no big deal.

As for the doctors offices, I just deal with it. I think the worst was
when we lived in Panama and rented a house in town. The landlord
insisted on calling me "Mrs. Kenneth", not Mrs. Larisa, Not Mrs.
'lastname', but Mrs. Kenneth. That sent me up the wall in a big way.
Every time he was there or called, I reminded him that my name was
Larisa and he could either use it or call me Mrs. 'lastname' He never
caught on, so I never talked to him after that..Grrrrrrrr

Now, I have to deal with the shortening of my childrens names..DS is NOT
Tommy!! And heaven forbid if you call DD Becky!!

Larisa, off her rocker and her soapbox

My aunts, on DM's side, insisted that I drop the 'aunt' when I turned 16 -
just call them by their first name. DS rarely answers to anything but his
prpoer name. I guess Australia tends to be a little more informal than
other countries, I've always been called by my first name in Dr's surgeries,
etc.

--
Melinda
http://cust.idl.com.au/athol

My DH's and DS's first name is Reagh. No one ever pronounces it right.
It was my DMIL's middle name, and her grandmother's surname.


It's pronounced Ray.

Denise

SNIGDIBBLY wrote:
I did that also. It was considered respectful but not as formal as Mr. and
Mrs.

"Bonnie NJ" wrote in message hlink.net...

I grew up in NE Philly and we also called our parents' friends "aunt or
uncle". When I think of these folks today it is still as Aunt Monica, etc.

--
Bonnie
NJ

Yeah! My family did that too. I don't think I've actually ever met
anyone in person who's said their family did the same, so I've spent my
life wondering if we were just weird or something. I remember being a
bit confused when I got old enough to realize these people weren't
*actually* my aunts and uncles.

My husband's family didn't do this, so we've not required it of the
boys. I guess it would be more than a little odd in this day and age
for them to call unrelated adults by aunt or uncle, but it still makes
me uncomfortable to hear them call adults by their first names. I get
this sneaking feeling in the back of my mind that it breeds disrespect.
Makes me itch.

--

the black rose
Research Associate in the Field of Child Development and Human
Relations
http://community.webshots.com/user/blackrosequilts
2005 BOMs: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/blackrosequilts/my_photos

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In message , the black rose
writes

Yeah! My family did that too. I don't think I've actually ever met
anyone in person who's said their family did the same, so I've spent my
life wondering if we were just weird or something. I remember being a
bit confused when I got old enough to realize these people weren't
*actually* my aunts and uncles.

My husband's family didn't do this, so we've not required it of the
boys. I guess it would be more than a little odd in this day and age
for them to call unrelated adults by aunt or uncle, but it still makes
me uncomfortable to hear them call adults by their first names. I get
this sneaking feeling in the back of my mind that it breeds disrespect.
Makes me itch.

Our kids call all adults aunt or uncle unless they have some other
title, like granddad, or they're a teacher (so get called Mrs Millard)
or something. It's what I did when I was a kid, and although I can't
think of anyone else who does it, people seem to be familiar with the
idea so I've never had an adverse comment. Like you say, it's a mark of
respect, it makes it clear there's a difference between Bob who sits
next to me in class and Uncle Bob who is a 30-mumble-year-old man mummy
was at school with, or Mr Phillips who is a 60-year-old man who goes to
our church. Unfortunately it is sometimes used as a euphemism for your
mum's temporary lover, so when we're out and about and one of the kids
pipes up "Oh, that's not daddy, that's Uncle Bob" we occasionally get
funny looks.
--
M Rimmer

I've raised my kids to call my very close friends aunt and uncle - not
casual aquaintances - but people who were an integral part of their lives.
It's a way of showing respect for adults who were too close to be referred
as Mr, Ms, Mrs. But I also raised my children to say ma'am and sir to ALL
adults. It goes along with the training of which fork and knife to use when
dining. I've always been complimented on my children's good manners. I had
a friend who had her girls courtsy and sons bow from the waist when being
introduced to an adult. I never went that far but admit being charmed by
the act.

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SNIGDIBBLY
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"the black rose" wrote in message
...
SNIGDIBBLY wrote:
I did that also. It was considered respectful but not as formal as Mr.
and Mrs.

"Bonnie NJ" wrote in message
hlink.net...

I grew up in NE Philly and we also called our parents' friends "aunt or
uncle". When I think of these folks today it is still as Aunt Monica,
etc.

--
Bonnie
NJ

Yeah! My family did that too. I don't think I've actually ever met
anyone in person who's said their family did the same, so I've spent my
life wondering if we were just weird or something. I remember being a bit
confused when I got old enough to realize these people weren't *actually*
my aunts and uncles.

My husband's family didn't do this, so we've not required it of the boys.
I guess it would be more than a little odd in this day and age for them to
call unrelated adults by aunt or uncle, but it still makes me
uncomfortable to hear them call adults by their first names. I get this
sneaking feeling in the back of my mind that it breeds disrespect. Makes
me itch.

--

the black rose
Research Associate in the Field of Child Development and Human
Relations
http://community.webshots.com/user/blackrosequilts
2005 BOMs: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/blackrosequilts/my_photos

-------- __o
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--- ( )/ ( ) ---- -\.
-------------------- ( )/ ( )
-----------------------------------------

I'm currently in school to get my EMT certification renewed, and we are
specifically taught to respect our patients. WHen we show up on scene, if
we ask the patient what their name is..if he says Joe Smith, we always call
him Mr. Smith unless he directs us otherwise.

"Marijke" wrote in message
.. .
Polly Esther wrote:
I am about to show you my worst side. Maybe not. Please just let me ask
for your feelings on a situation. You are in a doctor's office. You
wait two hours. You fill out a mountain of papers for information that
could easily have been obtained from the documents already on file. You
are not feeling very well.
Then this cutsey-poo person pops her head from the doorway where
patients who haven't managed to die of old age or aggravation in the
waiting room finally get to go sit in yet another room for an hour. The
ultimate insult: She yells, " Polly!"
If it's not a terrible burden, I like to be called Mrs. Esther by
total strangers. I am also okay with being addressed as Her Highness,
Miss America, 1917 and "Honey, where did you put the . . . ?"
Does this lazy familiarity gall anyone else with its rudeness? just
wondering. Polly



As a nurse, it drives me right around the bend when I hear some of my
colleagues refer to their patients by their first name without their
permission - especially when said patients are often twice their age. And
I'm not old!! I'm 44 but was raised to always call our elders by their
family names. I take this one step further to people who I do not know and
who have not granted me permission to call them by their first name.

As a patient, I despise this because, my first name is not one I use and
if the name is called, I cringe. That name is not me, so when a nurse or a
doctor says to me, "So, Clementine, tell me...." I don't feel as if they
are speaking to me. Call me Mrs. XYZ, you don't call me Clementine. If you
knew me, you'd know why you never call me Clementine. I have never used
that name in my entire life." Sigh.


Marijke
(not Clementine!)
in more bearable Montreal