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#1
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OT - jokes...
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could,
trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell,getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please don't shove me either!" A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?" An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead. A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup." A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping." Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, "They couldn't get a baby-sitter." A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife." Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad." |
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#2
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Snicker, snicker! Thanks!
-- Carolyn in The Old Pueblo If it ain't broke, you aren't trying. --Red Green If it ain't broke, it ain't mine. Carolyn McCarty "LN (remove NOSPAM)" wrote in message ... A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell,getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please don't shove me either!" A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?" An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead. A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup." A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping." Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, "They couldn't get a baby-sitter." A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to tre at our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife." Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad." |
#3
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She's baaaaaack! Thanks for the laugh LN!
Lorraine "Carolyn McCarty" wrote in message ... Snicker, snicker! Thanks! -- Carolyn in The Old Pueblo If it ain't broke, you aren't trying. --Red Green If it ain't broke, it ain't mine. Carolyn McCarty "LN (remove NOSPAM)" wrote in message ... A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell,getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please don't shove me either!" A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?" An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead. A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup." A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping." Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, "They couldn't get a baby-sitter." A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to tre at our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife." Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad." |
#4
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And I'm so glad she is!
-- Royce A day hemmed in prayer is less likely to unravel. "The Brown Family" wrote in message . rogers.com... She's baaaaaack! Thanks for the laugh LN! Lorraine "Carolyn McCarty" wrote in message ... Snicker, snicker! Thanks! -- Carolyn in The Old Pueblo If it ain't broke, you aren't trying. --Red Green If it ain't broke, it ain't mine. Carolyn McCarty "LN (remove NOSPAM)" wrote in message ... A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell,getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please don't shove me either!" A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?" An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead. A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup." A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping." Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, "They couldn't get a baby-sitter." A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to tre at our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife." Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad." |
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