Way OT - joke

Saw this in a quilt shop e-mail.
------------------------------------------------

A rabbi, a priest and a minister got together for lunch once a week.

One day, one made the comment that preaching to people wasn't really all
that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would
all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert
it.

Seven days later, they all got together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery went first. His arm was in a sling, he was using crutches to
walk, and his arms and legs were heavily bandaged.

"Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found
him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted
nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my
holy water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is
coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both
legs in casts, and an IV drip.

In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW
that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began
to READ to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do
with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled DOWN one
hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So, fast as I
could, I DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he
became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at Rabbi Goldberg, who was lying in a hospital bed. He
was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of
him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looked up and said weakly, "Looking back on it, circumcision might
not have been the best way to start."


Marlys in Indiana
Life is like drawing without an eraser.

thank you =) Polly

"Marlys in Indiana" wrote in message
...
Saw this in a quilt shop e-mail.
------------------------------------------------

A rabbi, a priest and a minister got together for lunch once a week.

One day, one made the comment that preaching to people wasn't really all
that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would
all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to
convert it.

Seven days later, they all got together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery went first. His arm was in a sling, he was using crutches
to walk, and his arms and legs were heavily bandaged.

"Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I
found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear
wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly
grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle a lamb. The
bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and
confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and
both legs in casts, and an IV drip.

In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you
KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I
began to READ to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted
nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We
wrestled DOWN one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a
creek. So, fast as I could, I DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And
just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of
the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at Rabbi Goldberg, who was lying in a hospital bed.
He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and
out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looked up and said weakly, "Looking back on it, circumcision
might not have been the best way to start."


Marlys in Indiana
Life is like drawing without an eraser.

That made me LOL!

Donna in Idaho

On 6/3/2012 8:25 AM, Marlys in Indiana wrote:
Saw this in a quilt shop e-mail.
------------------------------------------------

A rabbi, a priest and a minister got together for lunch once a week.

One day, one made the comment that preaching to people wasn't really all
that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They
would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt
to convert it.

Seven days later, they all got together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery went first. His arm was in a sling, he was using
crutches to walk, and his arms and legs were heavily bandaged.

"Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I
found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear
wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly
grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle a lamb. The
bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and
confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and
both legs in casts, and an IV drip.

In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you
KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then
I began to READ to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted
nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We
wrestled DOWN one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a
creek. So, fast as I could, I DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.
And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest
of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at Rabbi Goldberg, who was lying in a hospital
bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in
and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looked up and said weakly, "Looking back on it, circumcision
might not have been the best way to start."


Marlys in Indiana
Life is like drawing without an eraser.

Funny!
Barbara in SC

Just one more - Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual,
When Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome,
Tim.
But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus Is dead and
gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim.
"How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of
Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim.
Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, Brenda... No. In fact, He got out three
times to pee."

I'm lovin' these jokes - it's been a while since we've shared laughter
in the morning! Thanks, Marlys and Polly.

Louise in Iowa
nieland1390@mchsidotcom

On 6/3/2012 10:10 PM, Polly Esther wrote:
Just one more - Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual,
When Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.
But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus Is dead and
gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim.
"How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of
Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim.
Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, Brenda... No. In fact, He got out three
times to pee."

On 03/06/2012 11:10 PM, Polly Esther wrote:
Just one more - Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual,
When Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks.
"I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim.
But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus Is dead and
gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim.
"How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of
Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim.
Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, Brenda... No. In fact, He got out three
times to pee."




LOL! love it!

ROFL!! thanks!

On 03/06/2012 10:25 AM, Marlys in Indiana wrote:
Saw this in a quilt shop e-mail.
------------------------------------------------

A rabbi, a priest and a minister got together for lunch once a week.

One day, one made the comment that preaching to people wasn't really all
that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They
would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt
to convert it.

Seven days later, they all got together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery went first. His arm was in a sling, he was using
crutches to walk, and his arms and legs were heavily bandaged.

"Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I
found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear
wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly
grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle a lamb. The
bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and
confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and
both legs in casts, and an IV drip.

In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you
KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then
I began to READ to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted
nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We
wrestled DOWN one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a
creek. So, fast as I could, I DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.
And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest
of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at Rabbi Goldberg, who was lying in a hospital
bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in
and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looked up and said weakly, "Looking back on it, circumcision
might not have been the best way to start."


Marlys in Indiana
Life is like drawing without an eraser.

On Sunday, June 3, 2012 9:25:19 AM UTC-5, Marlys in Indiana wrote:
Saw this in a quilt shop e-mail.
------------------------------------------------

A rabbi, a priest and a minister got together for lunch once a week.

One day, one made the comment that preaching to people wasn't really all
that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would
all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert
it.

Seven days later, they all got together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery went first. His arm was in a sling, he was using crutches to
walk, and his arms and legs were heavily bandaged.

"Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found
him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted
nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my
holy water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is
coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both
legs in casts, and an IV drip.

In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW
that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began
to READ to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do
with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled DOWN one
hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So, fast as I
could, I DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he
became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at Rabbi Goldberg, who was lying in a hospital bed. He
was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of
him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looked up and said weakly, "Looking back on it, circumcision might
not have been the best way to start."


Marlys in Indiana
Life is like drawing without an eraser.

Wonderful! I've got a couple of friends in the clergy who are going to find this in their inboxes!