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I didn't say "for me" because I'm talking primarily from a psychological or
mental health point of view, with a little history thrown in. Want
reference material, etc?

Tina

By the way, where did getting tired of being "nice", and this is the part
about not being silent come from? Not me.


"LC aka Fiddy" wrote in message
...
Since "nice" is simple, and everyone agrees that it's simple and good, if
there comes to be a disagreement on it's value and use, wouldn't you say
there must obviously be a question of definition? And if I consider
myself
to be nice, or if Sooz, or other women here do, and are told to "be
nice",
then obviously there's a question of what "nice" means. If kids are told
to
be nice, and then girls are pulled aside again and told to be nice, we
apply
it differently to different people, starting as children. If I or others
have trouble from following the directive to "be nice", and it's not an
uncommon occurrence, there IS a question of whether there is such a
simple
definition.

Tina


Oh, dear. You must have missed the part where I said "for me". You have
every
right to do with your life as you feel fitting! And, you may also debate
the
definitions of being "nice" and the ramifications thereof till the moon
turns
blue.

getting tired of being "nice", and this is the part about not being
silent

Or, in other words, to quote the most petulant youth..."whatever".

The Blessed Fiddy, Patroness Saint of the Disorganized
LC in Sunny So Cal
Personality Development Specialist (Full-Time Mom!)

I recently redid our web page with the help of a professional. Apparently
there are some new federal rules coming about how to handle CC information.
As I understand it, it is quite complex and requires a lot of special,
secure data management.
For this reason, I went with a shopping cart that automatically does all the
CC stuff and I never see any numbers so I don't have to be bothered by the
new rules.
Armand
ps-I knew nothing of this until my web site developer told me about it.
It is very easy to add a paypal shopping cart or paypal "buy now" buttons to
your web site.
I do not know of any charges beyond those they already charge. Go to
merchant tools(I think) on their home page.

I'm well aware of the Paypal options for shopping carts, etc. However,
Paypal charges a relatively high rate for the "privilege" of processing
credit card payments. I know of a few merchant account providers with lower
rates, which is what I've been considering, especially since Paypal can't
handle transactions at shows.

KarenK

I use a paypal shopping cart on my web site and it seems to work just fine.
--
Karleen Page
Vibrant Jewels: http://www.vibrantjewels.com/jewelry/welcome.htm
JustBeads: http://www.justbeads.com/search/ql.cfm?s=21770
Join our Yahoo Group:
"Armand Vine" wrote in message
...
I recently redid our web page with the help of a professional. Apparently
there are some new federal rules coming about how to handle CC
information.
As I understand it, it is quite complex and requires a lot of special,
secure data management.
For this reason, I went with a shopping cart that automatically does all
the
CC stuff and I never see any numbers so I don't have to be bothered by the
new rules.
Armand
ps-I knew nothing of this until my web site developer told me about it.
It is very easy to add a paypal shopping cart or paypal "buy now" buttons
to
your web site.
I do not know of any charges beyond those they already charge. Go to
merchant tools(I think) on their home page.

I don't get it... how is being nice different from being kind and good? Why
is nice "bad" and kind "good"? How can you be nice without being kind - or
kind without being nice? I'm not talking about being a hypocrite... you can
PRETEND to be kind and/or nice, of course. Maybe nice means something
different where I come from. It's pretty much nice=kind=good.

Nice doesn't equal being brainless or stupid or afraid, at least not to me.
--
Karleen Page
Vibrant Jewels: http://www.vibrantjewels.com/jewelry/welcome.htm
JustBeads: http://www.justbeads.com/search/ql.cfm?s=21770
Join our Yahoo Group:
"Su/Cutworks" wrote in message
...
Kalera wrote:

Yes, I rate kindness very highly. I don't try to be nice, but I do try
to be kind.

I'd rather be kind and good than nice.

When I die, I want to be remembered as a good person and a kind one.

-Su

--
Tillerman eBay shop: http://stores.ebay.com/thetillermanbeads
Tillerman website: http://www.tillerman.co.uk

I would like to know of the processors who charge less than paypal.
Do they have monthly charges?
Do they have a set up charge?
What are their charges in percentages?
thanx
Armand

Well, for example, most people can see "tough love" as being kind, but it's
certainly not nice. Nice generally is about feelings. Kind is directed
more toward function.

Nice isn't bad, but too often people, and especially women, are required to
be nice and make others feel good, even if it harms themselves. It can harm
them by putting their own needs and honesty second to appearances and to
conforming to an (often) self-less ideal. Self-less is a fine ideal as long
as it doesn't turn into abnegation of self, a female ideal in a male
dominant society -- by the males, of course.

Tina


"Karleen/Vibrant Jewels" wrote in
message nk.net...
I don't get it... how is being nice different from being kind and good?
Why
is nice "bad" and kind "good"? How can you be nice without being kind - or
kind without being nice? I'm not talking about being a hypocrite... you
can
PRETEND to be kind and/or nice, of course. Maybe nice means something
different where I come from. It's pretty much nice=kind=good.

Nice doesn't equal being brainless or stupid or afraid, at least not to
me.
--
Karleen Page
Vibrant Jewels: http://www.vibrantjewels.com/jewelry/welcome.htm
JustBeads: http://www.justbeads.com/search/ql.cfm?s=21770
Join our Yahoo Group:
"Su/Cutworks" wrote in message
...
Kalera wrote:

Yes, I rate kindness very highly. I don't try to be nice, but I do try
to be kind.

I'd rather be kind and good than nice.

When I die, I want to be remembered as a good person and a kind one.

-Su

--
Tillerman eBay shop: http://stores.ebay.com/thetillermanbeads
Tillerman website: http://www.tillerman.co.uk

The things you need to consider are these:

Are you in this as a full fledged business, or are you doing hobby
income?

If you are doing a full fledged business, you can look at these as
complete business costs that are going to be write offs to a certain
degree.

I have both a merchant account, that I used for the credit card
processing on my website and at craft shows that I do throughout the
year.

I also sell on ebay and take paypal as my main method of payment.

Yes, the fees are a bit high, but you have to account for the
advertising that they do, as well as the traffic that they have. It
is a great way for you to bring people to your website (off of your
"about me" page). It does work, if you work it.

The Merchant Account that I have, I got through my quick books
program. It has been a good merchant account, and was VERY easy to
get.

You have to b realistic with yourself on what you are willing to
spend, and what you can afford. Think what traffic do you have now...
and what you might have in a year. What do you want to offer. What
do you think you will offer a year from now.

Hugs,
Lynda
http://www.thebeadgoddess.com

It took me a while to get a following on my website, but I think it
really does work; you have to combine eBay and website for a long time,
and even now I do use eBay as a combination clearance sale/advertising
effort.

As far as trust goes, when you have your site designed, go ahead and
shell out the $50 or so for a secure certificate; it's just extortion,
but it removes the "this site is not secure" popup that people get
otherwise. (That is, literally, all a secure certificate does; it
doesn't verify that the site is actually secure. Nice little racket they
have, there.)

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay


Karen_AZ wrote:

This (the credit card costs) is something I've been mulling over for a
while. Since I'm only selling online at the moment, with the exception of a
very few shows, it's not an issue, but Tucson is coming up soon, so I have
to think about this, again. sigh

In my perfect world, I'd love to be able to just sell on my own website,
handle credit cards myself, and have my CC account ready and able for
in-person shows as well. In the real world, however, Ebay gets more traffic
(60% of my sales this year was from new people), I need much less in the way
of HTML skills, and Paypal handles the credit cards for the auction sales. I
think many people are leery of sharing credit card numbers all over the web,
so Paypal provides a degree of security (rightfully so, IMO). So what I'm
left with is accepting Paypal's terms and fees, plus Ebay's.

I could probably host a website for less then my Ebay fees cost me for a
month (oh hell, I KNOW that's true, I paid over $150 in fees in September!),
and I'm sure that even with paying for good web design, I would probably
still come out ahead. I suspect there are credit card processors who would
be less expensive than Paypal, too. But in both cases, the key ingredient
seems to be "audience participation." Will people find and continually use
my own website in place of auctions, and will they trust me with their
credit card number? And, in terms of shows, how much do I 'lose' in terms of
sales if I only take cash and personal checks (which also have a risk)?

I'd really love some input on this, since I never seem to find satisfactory
answers on my own.

I did use a company called Cell Charge last year for Tucson. They were
"free" at the time, just charged a percentage of each transaction, about
.04% higher than Paypal if I recall. Then they added a monthly fee, and a
flat transaction fee on top of the percentage, and I cancelled, since I
wasn't selling monthly anyway.

Baffled,
KarenK

You can accept Paypal through your own website, using your own software;
you just have to set up (or have your webmaster set up) your shopping
cart to do so. You can also accept all major credit cards through Paypal
without having a merchant account, and without your customers having to
open a Paypal account. Their prices are very competetive, the only
drawback being that you can't use them to accept credit cards at a show.

-Kalera
http://www.beadwife.com
http://www.snipurl.com/kebay


LilyFlower wrote:

Dear Karen,

Thank you for asking this question, as I am hoping to start selling on
line and would love to see the responses. I'm glad to hear you are
doing well enouogh on eBay to continue. Of course high fees mean high
sales.
I've been a buyer on eBay for awhile and definitely feel more
comfortable using PayPal as a buffer for my credit card. Although
I've learned first hand about phishing, having almost been caught by
one supposedly from eBay.
Did you know that you could become a PayPal store, not on eBay, so you
could have your own website and still use PalPay if you wished. (I
don't know all the requirements, though). Maybe that would work for
you. Otherwise it seems you would have to do something to build trust
on your website. How???
I think I saw another payment site somewhere, similar to PayPal. If I
can find it, I'll let you know. Again, I'd love to hear about more of
these myself.
Take care,
Lilyflower