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#21
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OT Wedding Announcement
Kate T. wrote:
Thank you all for your input. I'm confused about giving a gift also. I understand her registry is at Walmart. Stick to your budget, and send something small but beautiful. But I definitely will not attend the wedding or the reception. The wedding I am told will be in a church and the reception will be at the new home the groom's parents bought for them. The home was placed in pasture land. With no shoes I am not about to step in anything. No hornet nests, wasp nests, fire ant hills and with horses around I won't step barefoot in their leavings in the pasture. I'd read that as bare feet welcome rather than obligatory. Kate T. South Mississippi -- Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons http://www.katedicey.co.uk Click on Kate's Pages and explore! |
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#22
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OT Wedding Announcement
Anne Rogers wrote:
I must be positively pre-historic! I hate the idea of sending out a list - it's like begging for things! My mum asked me what we needed, as by the time Alan & I finally got married, we'd had a house and a mortgage for five years! So I gave her a list of what we would quite like, and when folk wanted to know, mum chose a couple of things off the list in whoever it was's price range (she guessed those - and was extremely accurate!) and kept a list of who she'd told what to (if you follow!) The ONLY duplication we got was a couple of the big square Tupperware cake boxes! I agree with you, to be honest I don't think the list I was thinking of was sent out, but put discreetly put on a website. I think the problem is these days, with so much variation of what goes on, that you really can't guarantee that people will call the bride's mother and even if they did, the bride's mother is probably working and it would be quite a burden for her to maintain the list. More and more people are moving away from home and will have friends who don't know the family and the groom's family won't know the brides family etc. Not knowing each other's family was certaily the case wiht us. We'd met at uni, after I had a perepatetic childhood. One of the first things Mum did when we finally set the date was ask me for Alan's parents phone number, and ring them for a guest list and addresses. She did the same for Alan and for me, so she knew exactly who to invite and their proper titles (such as Dr and so forth), and initials and everything... She was VERY efficient, but then she had trained and worked as a secretary, and run several different organizational thing in her role as an RAF officer's wife. I think she is where a lot of Big Sis's skills as a PA come from! While she wasn't working when we got married, Mum was running this wedding in the aftermath of my father's sudden death. It's indisputable that it is ettiquette to take a gift to a wedding, yet more and more the practicalities mentioned above mean that for many couples it is much simpler to have a list at a store. From the weddings I've been too recently, it would seem that our wedding was small, about 80 guests, probably around 40-50 family units and individuals, had my mum had to return 40 calls or emails with details it would have been quite time consuming, she was working full time and only about 18 months since she'd finished cancer treatments, so was still suffering with fatigue and things like that. So you tread a fine line between it being etiquette to give a gift, but not etiquette to expect one, what we ended up doing, and this seems to be quite common is to include an information sheet in with the invite, so the invite is simply the classic statement, saying where and when, but then further information, such as a map, car parking details, suggested accomodation is given in a separate print out and somewhere on there you sneak in a discreet note that says which store your list is at. When things are not done strictly according to the rules of ettiquette in a situation like that, everyone will be very understanding and very sympathetic. Wedding lists at stores are very old. I'm sure they go back to the 30's... Despite my mother taking similar care with my sister when she got married, Little Sis still ended up with 20 dinner plates from her chosen china, and the store took them back and swapped the extra ones for other pieces. I'd have been happy to have a list that was more general, though it was useful to have things like plates all matching. I know in the past this was sometimes acheived by passing on that you wanted them from a particular range, but that's become a very expensive way to obtain crockery, if you do that now, you'd only getting a dinner service from the whole guest list! We picked cheapish sets where they came four settings in a box and asked for 2 and several other things that matched them, like mats. If you have a more general list it ends up being a person that has to keep track, when it's easier for everyone if it's a computer! I think the whole store/china list thing came about when decent china was hard to come by. It certainly became necessary here in the UK, where, especially after the war, when everything we made of any quality was being exported to pay for the war. There was no way my parents' families could have got hold of a decent bone china dinner service in the mid fifties, even though they could have afforded it between them. A lot of countries don't have the same ettiquette that we have, which is a bizarre balance having to give a gift and not expecting to receive one. Many other societies do what we would consider very bad form and give gifts of money, which will be quite blatently collected and the amount recorded at some point during the celebrations - so the couple know how much to give when the guests or their families get married, a thought that in US and British etiquette is not really supposed to enter your head! It's always wise to know the local customs. It still horrifies me that wedding guests can be requested to dress in colours chosen by the bride, and that bridesmaids pay for their own gowns in the USA. Here it is still the norm that these whole outfits (shoes, dress, headdress, any bag they carry, but not usually the undies) are all paid for by the bride (or her parents), and their flowers, like all the flowers, are paid for by the groom. It is still the norm that the groom buys the bridesmaids a little gift. Jewelery is traditional. -- Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons http://www.katedicey.co.uk Click on Kate's Pages and explore! |
#23
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OT Wedding Announcement
My neice is getting married in November, she had her 2nd bridal shower
this past saturday. (the first one was with the groom's family ) As many on the wedding guest list live far away...i live 200 miles from them...the couple "registered" with several stores. One was a nationwide chain, one was a local higher-end gift shop, and i think one was an online store. For me...it was very convenient to peruse the lists and choose something in my pricerange. (they all had websites). i found a terrific gift for her, in a price i could afford, i car- pooled with several other family members, had a ball at the shower, she loved the gift, it was checked off as something already bought so it couldnt be duplicated....all was well in the world. i'm a firm believer in Bridal regestrys. they save time, money, headaches and heartaches. now...flowers and gowns are another story....... amy in CNY |
#24
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OT bridal registries
I appreciate the bridal registries too. They make it possible for us to
send a little gift, sometimes just one spoon, that the bride will welcome. As our families grow and spread far away, we love to receive invitations to the weddings even if they're just a courtesy. Wish we knew some of them well enough to truly dislike one; we still have Aunt Persniffoney's lamp for someone to inherit. Polly "amy in CNY" wrote in message ... My neice is getting married in November, she had her 2nd bridal shower this past saturday. (the first one was with the groom's family ) As many on the wedding guest list live far away...i live 200 miles from them...the couple "registered" with several stores. One was a nationwide chain, one was a local higher-end gift shop, and i think one was an online store. For me...it was very convenient to peruse the lists and choose something in my pricerange. (they all had websites). i found a terrific gift for her, in a price i could afford, i car- pooled with several other family members, had a ball at the shower, she loved the gift, it was checked off as something already bought so it couldnt be duplicated....all was well in the world. i'm a firm believer in Bridal regestrys. they save time, money, headaches and heartaches. now...flowers and gowns are another story....... amy in CNY |
#25
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OT bridal registries
Is it a hurricane lamp? Sorry....couldn't resist.
-- Kathyl (KJ) remove "nospam" before mchsi http://community.webshots.com/user/kathylquiltz "Polly Esther" wrote in message ... I appreciate the bridal registries too. They make it possible for us to send a little gift, sometimes just one spoon, that the bride will welcome. As our families grow and spread far away, we love to receive invitations to the weddings even if they're just a courtesy. Wish we knew some of them well enough to truly dislike one; we still have Aunt Persniffoney's lamp for someone to inherit. Polly "amy in CNY" wrote in message ... My neice is getting married in November, she had her 2nd bridal shower this past saturday. (the first one was with the groom's family ) As many on the wedding guest list live far away...i live 200 miles from them...the couple "registered" with several stores. One was a nationwide chain, one was a local higher-end gift shop, and i think one was an online store. For me...it was very convenient to peruse the lists and choose something in my pricerange. (they all had websites). i found a terrific gift for her, in a price i could afford, i car- pooled with several other family members, had a ball at the shower, she loved the gift, it was checked off as something already bought so it couldnt be duplicated....all was well in the world. i'm a firm believer in Bridal regestrys. they save time, money, headaches and heartaches. now...flowers and gowns are another story....... amy in CNY |
#26
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OT bridal registries
I wish. Polly
"KJ" wrote in message news:bHexk.333660$yE1.213752@attbi_s21... Is it a hurricane lamp? Sorry....couldn't resist. -- Kathyl (KJ) remove "nospam" before mchsi http://community.webshots.com/user/kathylquiltz "Polly Esther" wrote in message ... I appreciate the bridal registries too. They make it possible for us to send a little gift, sometimes just one spoon, that the bride will welcome. As our families grow and spread far away, we love to receive invitations to the weddings even if they're just a courtesy. Wish we knew some of them well enough to truly dislike one; we still have Aunt Persniffoney's lamp for someone to inherit. Polly "amy in CNY" wrote in message ... My neice is getting married in November, she had her 2nd bridal shower this past saturday. (the first one was with the groom's family ) As many on the wedding guest list live far away...i live 200 miles from them...the couple "registered" with several stores. One was a nationwide chain, one was a local higher-end gift shop, and i think one was an online store. For me...it was very convenient to peruse the lists and choose something in my pricerange. (they all had websites). i found a terrific gift for her, in a price i could afford, i car- pooled with several other family members, had a ball at the shower, she loved the gift, it was checked off as something already bought so it couldnt be duplicated....all was well in the world. i'm a firm believer in Bridal regestrys. they save time, money, headaches and heartaches. now...flowers and gowns are another story....... amy in CNY |
#27
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OT bridal registries
Oh Kathyl! That's dreadful ...
.. In message bHexk.333660$yE1.213752@attbi_s21, KJ writes Is it a hurricane lamp? Sorry....couldn't resist. -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#28
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OT bridal registries
Patti wrote:
Oh Kathyl! That's dreadful ... I'd have LOVED one! I still would. We have two of these: https://www.iimsec.co.uk/tilley/shop.php?stat=1 -- Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons http://www.katedicey.co.uk Click on Kate's Pages and explore! |
#29
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OT Wedding Announcement
Don't thinks they'd welcome my aged and not very beautiful feet. Much
better covered up! Sally at the Seaside~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~uk http://community.webshots.com/user/sallyswin Kate XXXXXX wrote: Kate T. wrote: Thank you all for your input. I'm confused about giving a gift also. I understand her registry is at Walmart. Stick to your budget, and send something small but beautiful. But I definitely will not attend the wedding or the reception. The wedding I am told will be in a church and the reception will be at the new home the groom's parents bought for them. The home was placed in pasture land. With no shoes I am not about to step in anything. No hornet nests, wasp nests, fire ant hills and with horses around I won't step barefoot in their leavings in the pasture. I'd read that as bare feet welcome rather than obligatory. Kate T. South Mississippi |
#30
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OT Wedding Announcement
It's probably a replica of the lamp in "A Christmas Story"....fishnets
and all!! BG amy in CNY |
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