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#11
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And this leads to an etiquette question I don't have a satisfactory
answer to. I run into an old friend, someone I haven't seen in ages. Or maybe it is a new friend. We exchange email addresses. I look forward to coresponding a little news. She sends a joke. Usually it is something old and tired. Only rarely is it something I haven't seen before or think is funny. Either way, there's never a personal note. I have joke books if I want jokes. I send a note telling some friendly news I think might be of interest and saying that I don't care for jokes much. The jokes continue. I ask questions of a friendly nature, try to start a conversation. No personal answers. I hint a little more and finally come out and say not to send me jokes. That's when the inspirational messages, the political petitions and urban legends begin. Months can go by of being on this person's mailing list, and all I get amounts to spam. Still, I'm reluctant to delete without reading when I see the message line is from someone I know. I'm afraid of deleting it the one time she sends something written especially for me. Finally our old ISP gets bought out by a bigger company, and I get a new email address as a result. I don't bother to update the friend with the new address so I'm off the mailing list that way. Either that, or I say bluntly that I don't want mail unless it is a personal note. Then I never hear from them again. Is there any way to predict who will write to me and who will put me on a mailing list BEFORE I give out my address? Is there any effective way to let someone know not to send junk? Can you squeeze personal message water out of these otherwise friendly rocks? What does Miss Manners have to say? --Lia |
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#12
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I sure haven't seen Miss Manners address it, but I know we've all run into
this problem. I have a couple of in-laws, a distant cousin, and several members of my guild who love to flood my mailbox with everything that comes their way. I set up a rule in my email program to filter all their messages into a "junk I don't need to deal with" folder, and automatically mark it as read. I figure by the time I've asked them repeatedly not to forward every joke and "pass this on to 10 people immediately" message, and they've ignored my request, I'm no longer obligated to even look at their messages. (This is along the lines of the Miss Manners principle that you don't have to be nice to rude people.) I have them (for a few months, anyway) if I need them, but I'm not bothered with them. True, I could miss something truly important. Not an issue with the in-laws, as my BIL will email me separately if there's something I need to know. Sometimes I do glance at the headers of the messages in that folder, and so far the others have never sent anything that had much importance. -- Kathy A. (Woodland, CA) longarm machine quilting, Queen of Fabric Tramps http://www.kayneyquilting.com , remove the obvious to reply "Julia Altshuler" wrote in message news:Qw%6c.47561$J05.369148@attbi_s01... And this leads to an etiquette question I don't have a satisfactory answer to. I run into an old friend, someone I haven't seen in ages. Or maybe it is a new friend. We exchange email addresses. I look forward to coresponding a little news. She sends a joke. Usually it is something old and tired. Only rarely is it something I haven't seen before or think is funny. Either way, there's never a personal note. I have joke books if I want jokes. I send a note telling some friendly news I think might be of interest and saying that I don't care for jokes much. The jokes continue. I ask questions of a friendly nature, try to start a conversation. No personal answers. I hint a little more and finally come out and say not to send me jokes. That's when the inspirational messages, the political petitions and urban legends begin. Months can go by of being on this person's mailing list, and all I get amounts to spam. Still, I'm reluctant to delete without reading when I see the message line is from someone I know. I'm afraid of deleting it the one time she sends something written especially for me. Finally our old ISP gets bought out by a bigger company, and I get a new email address as a result. I don't bother to update the friend with the new address so I'm off the mailing list that way. Either that, or I say bluntly that I don't want mail unless it is a personal note. Then I never hear from them again. Is there any way to predict who will write to me and who will put me on a mailing list BEFORE I give out my address? Is there any effective way to let someone know not to send junk? Can you squeeze personal message water out of these otherwise friendly rocks? What does Miss Manners have to say? --Lia |
#13
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Kathy Applebaum wrote:
I figure by the time I've asked them repeatedly not to forward every joke and "pass this on to 10 people immediately" message, and they've ignored my request, I'm no longer obligated to even look at their messages. Actually, I have had good luck with answering everything they send with a curt "please take me off your mailing list." I don't have the option of the special filter (my mozilla problem again). I suppose the bigger question is what motivates them. They must think they're being friendly and can't imagine what's the matter with us. --Lia |
#14
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"Julia Altshuler" wrote in message news:a907c.46818$JL2.607998@attbi_s03... They must think they're being friendly and can't imagine what's the matter with us. You might have hit the nail on the head there. -- Kathy A. (Woodland, CA) longarm machine quilting, Queen of Fabric Tramps http://www.kayneyquilting.com , remove the obvious to reply |
#15
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Howdy!
My solution: after politely asking "them" to stop mass-emailing, esp. including all addresses being made visible, I mass-email back; cousin who has to pay for e-mail by the minute got at least 5 copies of everything he sent to me--he finally got THE message and stopped. g S-i-l who still masses mail without thinking gets at least 10 copies back of each note, just to get her attention; she apologizes, stops for a while, then forgets again (this has led to some annoying forwarded mails from some of her goofy friends whose addresses get blocked thereafter); she won't stop, and neither will I back-to-her. VBG I also send out copies of quilt shop mail and quilts-to-see addys, to "share" my interests. ;-D Ragmop/Sandy--my favorite Miss Manners column addressed the proper way to respond when a lady accidentally drops her pistol in a social gathering... "Kathy Applebaum" wrote in message m... I sure haven't seen Miss Manners address it, but I know we've all run into this problem. I have a couple of in-laws, a distant cousin, and several members of my guild who love to flood my mailbox with everything that comes their way. I set up a rule in my email program to filter all their messages into a "junk I don't need to deal with" folder, and automatically mark it as read. I figure by the time I've asked them repeatedly not to forward every joke and "pass this on to 10 people immediately" message, and they've ignored my request, I'm no longer obligated to even look at their messages. (This is along the lines of the Miss Manners principle that you don't have to be nice to rude people.) I have them (for a few months, anyway) if I need them, but I'm not bothered with them. True, I could miss something truly important. Not an issue with the in-laws, as my BIL will email me separately if there's something I need to know. Sometimes I do glance at the headers of the messages in that folder, and so far the others have never sent anything that had much importance. -- Kathy A. (Woodland, CA) longarm machine quilting, Queen of Fabric Tramps http://www.kayneyquilting.com , remove the obvious to reply |
#16
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" Ellison" wrote in message m... Ragmop/Sandy--my favorite Miss Manners column addressed the proper way to respond when a lady accidentally drops her pistol in a social gathering... Oh, do tell! You never know when that will come in handy! My favorite Miss Manners column introduced the term "ummer" for a Person-of-the-opposite-sex-sharing-living-quarters. As in "This is my daughter's umm, umm, errrrr...." -- Kathy A. (Woodland, CA) longarm machine quilting, Queen of Fabric Tramps http://www.kayneyquilting.com , remove the obvious to reply |
#17
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On 20 Mar 2004 04:36:44 GMT, melinda wrote:
It seems I'm being trageted by Spammers pushing Human Growth Hormones. I WANT THIS TO STOP! How do I do something about it? My spam got so bad I signed up for SpamArrest (www.spamarrest.com). The cost is minimal and it has been highly successful in protecting me from spammers. And, it has totally protected me from virus senders. Another thing to do is to get something like AdAware (http://www.lavasoft.nu). It is free. What this program does is to find and quarantine (or remove) all "spyware" from your computer. Some spyware sends your personal information to spammers so using this software will also help. Mardi Real e-mail address spelled out to prevent spam. mardi at mardiweb dot com. ____________________ My Quilting page: http://www.mardiweb.com/quilts/MardiQuilts.html Paint Shop Pro tutorials: http://www.mardiweb.com/web Low-Fat Lifestyle Forum: http://www.mardiweb.com/lowfat |
#18
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nzl* wrote:
first check your isp to see if they have free spam delete thingy working. i had to ask for it to be set on my email acct. ISP uses spam assasin(IIRC), which is set on our accounts with a low tolerance but these are getting through because they seem to addressed to me. when i started going from a few spams a day to over 300 a day all in the space of a couple of days, after a week i was going bonkers and not very quietly either i might add. i changed my email addy (my isp lets us use up to five email addys, luckily i had stuck with the one for 4.5yrs) and am now extra careful where i use it. i also use mailwasher. www.mailwasher.net with mailwasher i can preview and either bounce or delete after i see who they're from. i was bouncing a lot and then realized it was pointless as so many spammers use bogus return addys and the bounce comes back to me as undeliverable. arghhhh. now i just delete, delete, delete. so few now. I don't want to have to change my email address, our account allows for several addresses as well, but about half are used already (DH has addresses for business and private). I don't even get to see these emails because DH sends my email through to my computer, so he deletes the junk and spam, but 4 of these things came through yesterday all from different addresses and I think I've been careful with my email address. have you recently subscribed to something online that is outside the norm? some places sell their addy list. anything i'm unsure of i use the yahoo addy. then if it is spam i just hit the yahoo spam button and let them deal with it. so far so good. sorry, not much help but the best i could think of. i hope someone here has some better info for you. hugz from across the ditch, jeanne Not subscribed or unsubscribed, but have done a few unusual google searches... -- Melinda http://cust.idl.com.au/athol |
#19
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Sharon Harper wrote:
Are you using Optus Mel? If so, I know they have a spam thingy that you can set because DH did mine. We also use Outlook Express and the spam doesn't even come through to OE - Although I can check it using Webmail in case some regular emails accidently get caught. Also I set up message rules to look for any funny words which works a treat. I send those straight to my deleted box so that I can still check them if I want to. I've gone from about 100 a day to 2. Not Optus, a local ISP who is very good. They use spam assasin (IIRC). -- Melinda http://cust.idl.com.au/athol |
#20
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if i think of anything else that might be useful, i'll let ya know.
gawd, i nearly went mad the week i got it. oh wait, i was mad already, ok, just got worse, swore a whole lot more. jeanne -- http://community.webshots.com/user/nzlstar real reply is san-fran at ihug dot co dot nz "melinda" wrote... nzl* wrote: first check your isp to see if they have free spam delete thingy working. i had to ask for it to be set on my email acct. ISP uses spam assasin(IIRC), which is set on our accounts with a low tolerance but these are getting through because they seem to addressed to me. when i started going from a few spams a day to over 300 a day all in the space of a couple of days, after a week i was going bonkers and not very quietly either i might add. i changed my email addy (my isp lets us use up to five email addys, luckily i had stuck with the one for 4.5yrs) and am now extra careful where i use it. i also use mailwasher. www.mailwasher.net with mailwasher i can preview and either bounce or delete after i see who they're from. i was bouncing a lot and then realized it was pointless as so many spammers use bogus return addys and the bounce comes back to me as undeliverable. arghhhh. now i just delete, delete, delete. so few now. I don't want to have to change my email address, our account allows for several addresses as well, but about half are used already (DH has addresses for business and private). I don't even get to see these emails because DH sends my email through to my computer, so he deletes the junk and spam, but 4 of these things came through yesterday all from different addresses and I think I've been careful with my email address. have you recently subscribed to something online that is outside the norm? some places sell their addy list. anything i'm unsure of i use the yahoo addy. then if it is spam i just hit the yahoo spam button and let them deal with it. so far so good. sorry, not much help but the best i could think of. i hope someone here has some better info for you. hugz from across the ditch, jeanne Not subscribed or unsubscribed, but have done a few unusual google searches... -- Melinda http://cust.idl.com.au/athol |
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