Need help from quilters.. Heart Quilt Blocks in trade for donation please read!

Thanks for saying that, Kate! I was very sceptical myself when I read
that post -- I'm just glad I wasn't the only one. I couldn't think how
to say it all nicely and succinctly, as you did, so I'm glad you wrote.

--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas

http://home.earthlink.net/~s_foster

Cheyne:
Larisa (aka CNY Stitcher) was not being negative, in my (never
humble) opinion. She was just stating her experience in an effort
to encourage you and your mother. She took the time to answer
several posts in this thread. You may not agree with her, but she
was NOT at all rude or unkind. So instead of arguing with her,
perhaps you could just say "Thanks for your suggestions." And
then ignore them if you don't like them, but please don't jump
all over someone who is just trying to help. As a newcomer you
have no way of knowing that Larisa has had a few bruises of her
own, due to some misunderstandings. It looks to me that she is
working real hard to post her ideas clearly and politely, so as
to avoid any hard feelings ... and doing a darn good job of it I
think. I just hate to see someone jump to the wrong conclusion at
the expense of a poster who is trying to be helpful. I hope this
note helps.
Thanks for listening. PAT

Cheyne wrote:

Thanks for your negative comments... Please go read my other post
where I answered your question.......cut...

On Thu, 7 Aug 2003 00:22:16 -0500 (CDT), (The
HairyFacedOnes 'N Me) wrote:

Absolutely! I am 52, eat 600 to 800 calories a day and am WORKING at
it. And working HARD! BUT..... it *does* come off if you do! And it
*is* worth it.....

Oh my god

I am fifty. I gained weight one time with a late pregnancy where I
was flat on my back. Since that time, I have never gained a pound. I
did not gradually gain weight, and am not an overeater.

In the past couple of years I have worked on getting in shape, but I
have not dieted.

I do not count calories, ever
I do eat a healthy diet, according to the mayo food pyramid (more
fruits and veggies and less grain than the regular usda version)
I do drink water constantly all day long.
I do a thirty minute strenth workout two to three tiimes a week.
(started with two pound weights)
I do walk an hour two to three days a week.
Will never ever ever go to 600 calories a day, !

The weight I have lost is minimal, however I am still in good
"shape"phsycially.

I would suggest Mom concentrate on eating healthily, and moving in
some way every day, rather than "dieting" or "losing weight"

Barb





Leslie

The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me

RCTQ- Houston 2004..... A good friend will come and bail you out of
jail.... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...
that was fun!"

Okay, I'm going to step in here and reveal a secret - my starting weight at
WW. NO-ONE except the weigher chick at WW knows this. I'm loathe to admit
it because I am deeply embarassed. I weighed in at 125 kilos (that's
roughly 250 pounds). You say your mom is 100 pounds overweight - that is
not life and death, sad, not beneficial to her health yes, but not lethal.
You mum needs to work with her GP, and if necessary a specialist. She
doesn't have to alter her life dramatically - just cutting out butter on
toast/bread can help her to lose a pound a week which would very quickly add
up. That's what I'm doing at the moment - little changes - and they have
added up to going from a tight size 26 to a comfortable size 18 in six
months. And what's better - IT HASN'T COME BACK!!


--
Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Qof DU)
http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/index.html
Member of the Houston 2004 Party Animals
"Cheyne" wrote in message
om...
I do work full-time... I WORK 60 HOURS a week.... as a pastry chef in
a restaurant in downtown Houston... I live in a CRAPPY apartment,
which I just moved into just so I could take a cut in rent... to help
my mom... I now live on the bottom floor so my mom can come visit me
because she cant walk up stairs at all..I cant take a semester off, I
am enrolled in a private college *Art Institute* where I have 40,000
dollars I owe regardless if I attend or not, my butt is signed into
that for life. If I take a semester off, they bill me for it as if I
was still attending, I also currently have a 4.0 GPA and have a few
women chef scholarships that ride on me being in attendance, or I will
lose those too... So in otherwords, you tell me to give up the only
chance I have to succeed in life to help my mom yet I am doing
everything I can to help her.... I get no sleep.. I work and do
homework all day long... I have no car... I am sewing quilt blocks to
TRY AND raise some extra money besides what I set aside from the cut
in my rent.... I am still a child... what can you say you knew at 22??
The same as you know now???? If thats the case then I should be a
genius?? I have a whole life to learn, and being 5 feet tall doesnt
help any.
My mom is over 100 lbs overweight... she has done the research believe
me... She knows this can help her, everything else hasnt... AT least
its a shot... You make it sound like, if you had a chance to survive
from cancer by getting chemo one more time, you wouldnt do it... just
because it COULD have the possibility of NOT working... Its worth the
try...


You arent trying to slam me, yet everything you said was a direct
slam... I am doing what I can.... I work, I MAINTAIN a 4.0 GPA, I cut
my rent back... I am living on a sandwich a day, sewing quilt
blocks.... and consistently attending all classes and school which run
from 7 in the morning to 11 at night...

I didnt ask to be hurt... and if anything... my feelings have just
been crushed... I didnt ask for you to give me money... I just asked
to trade... :*(

If you were hurt, you would want your daughter to do the same... or
would you be honored your daughter did this?? MY mom doesnt know I am
doing this for her... I just want to repay her for the love and
support she has given me...


CNYstitcher wrote in message
...
Cheyne wrote:

I was referred here by someone in another group in another place who
also posts here and said that this group likes to trade quilt blocks.


You really should say who referred you as this is not something that a
regular member would do


a daughter who is
only 22,

I am just a child asking for some help.


These last 2 statements are contradictory. A person who is 22 can no
longer be considered a child. Also, if the situation is so dire, not
returning to college for a semester might be a better option - instead,
what about working full-time to help earn the money needed to defray the
cost of medical treatment? Everything I have read has said that
gastric-bypass surgery is something that is *not considered for tha
majority of people, and they must be at least 100 pounds overweight.

In reading your original post, you have mentioned issues that affect my
mother as well - thyroid problems, blood pressure, arthritis. I am not
asking for help for my mother, but am doing everything I can to see that
she gets the help that she needs. She is still able to work, adn so she
does so. She takes medicine for her thyroid, which may or may not help,
medicines for depression and fibromyalgia, and who knows what else as
she has chosen NOT to keep me posted of her continuing medical troubles.
Several times, my DH and I have sent her money to help her out with
finances because she needed to use her money for doctors visits and
medicines.

I am not trying to slam you, just suggesting that, instead of furthering
your education (especially if there are children at home that your
mother is having difficutly taking care of), take time to work and earn
some money to help with everything. College will still be there.

She is more than 100 lbs overweight...a lot more
And she doesnt eat constantly.. if anything she eats less than she
should
Thanks for your comments Leslie but my mother is not a dumb ass....
she has tried those methods... I didnt come here to just say... hey my
mom is lazy and cant loose the weight.. she has tried the diets and
the exercise.. and the eating right.. its not working for her... you
were lucky..



(The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me) wrote in message ...
Geez.... I was 100+ lbs. overweight for over 12 years. IT'S NOT *THAT*
MUCH! You *can* lead a normal life at 100 lbs. over-weight. You DO
NOT need to beg on news groups at 100 lbs. over weight. BUT..... you
can go thru hell in your personal life and suddenly find that eating
constantly just doesn't cut it any more and then start doing some
exercise- just a little at first, I'm 100% disabled- and you will start
feeling better. Then you find that eating less and exercising a bit
more and looking nicer feels *really* good.... and then suddenly---- I
am ***66 POUNDS LIGHTER AND LOVING IT!!!!!** And I'm still going
lower! Tell your mom to get busy and do it the old fashioned way- eat
less and exercise. It still works.... I can prove it. So can a few
others on this group! Ladies? Please speak up.....

Leslie (size women's 20 to a misses 14)

The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me

RCTQ- Houston 2004..... A good friend will come and bail you out of
jail.... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...
that was fun!"

Thanks Tia... what you say is true... Some people are prone to it...
some are lucky to actually get the staples.. while others cant afford
it... My mom has fought with this all 22 years I have been alive.. and
nothing has worked.. Even counting calories..
And what you said about the fact that your body beloieves it is
starving is true.. Studying nutrition in college and how food effects
bodies, people who are prone to stay the same size regardless of
calorie intake can have their bodies believe they are starving.. I am
one of those people.. I weigh 92 lbs.. only 5 feet tall and have been
all my life.. but I eat small meals and always feel hungry.. whereas
my mother is the same way... but she doesnt eat because her body is
confused and she believes she is full..

ekoluvr (Tia Mary-remove nekoluvr to reply ) wrote in message ...
From: (The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me)

........ Tell your mom to get busy and do it the old fashioned way- eat
less and exercise. ...........

VBS -- doesn't work if the excess weight isn't from overeating. For me to
lose weight, I have to restrict my caloric intake to UNDER 1,000 (800 is best)
a day and ALSO exercise for a minimum of 45 minutes a day, 6 days a week.
Doing all of that, it will take me about three months before I will see any
appreciable weight loss. I am one of those people who have a perfectly healthy
thyroid -- as least as far as the standard tests can show -- and Dr's have
never been able to find out why I have so much trouble losing weight. Now that
I am post-menopausal, it's even worse :-(.
I WILL agree -- limit your calories AND exercise. If you over 25 or 30
that's about the ONLY healthy way to lose weight. Not sure if the young woman
and her story are on the "up & up" but if she is, I have been where her mom is
and the only thing that helped was having my stomach stapled. Even with that,
I have to do the 1,000 or less calories a day and the serious exercise not that
my body has adjusted to the different stomach size.
I once read that constant dieting & exercise for those who are prone to
obesity can be a double edged sword. by always restricting your calories and
then burning them off with exercis, your body thinks you are in the "almost
starving" mode and turns all calories that are not used quickly to fat! The
body WANTS those fat stores to help carry it through all of the semi-starvation
that constant dieting results in! Not sure how much of that is true but it's
an interesting theory!! CiaoMeow ^;;^
.


PAX, Tia Mary ^;;^
Angels can't show their wings on earth but nothing was ever said about their
WHISKERS!!
Nothing is complete without a few cat hairs!

How about Queen of Polite Insistence and Very Big Teeth. LOL

Hi Kate!!

Elena

"Ruth in Happy Camp" wrote in message
...
I think we oughta elect Kate our official mouthpiece. (Can't come up with
an appropriate "queen of . . . " word.)
--
Ruth in Happy Camp
"Pat in Virginia" wrote in message
...
Thank you Kate. PAT

Umm look lady...

Here now I will be straight forward with you... I was told to come
here by a friend of yours.. You ask why I dont tell you the name??
well why dont you start looking around at your "friends" and figure
out who it was.. thats not my place....

At 22, I know plenty.. but not what I will know when I will be in my
40's ... This is the age where mistakes are made... Thanks for your
comments.. but they are slams.. You havent read anything I have said..
I didnt CHOOSE to go to the Art Institute.. I was offered a chance of
a LIFETIME... with scholarships and many other things... I couldnt
pass that up..At the time I accepted, my mom was told she would get
the loan for the operation..I am almost two years into my schooling...
I cant move home.. there is no where for me to move to.. They have a
small one bedroom house that I shared with my sister that they now
live in... I went to community college for 2 years... I dont know
where you come from... or how old you are... but you cant get a degree
from a local college anymore.. or at least not here... they pull the
rug out from underneath you...when you arent looking.. I had to do
something with my life...

AND AGAIN I state... I wasnt asking you for FREE MONEY... I was asking
to trade blocks for donations... anything prayers... a heartfelt
word.. ANYTHING.... There were people from this damn list.. who
actually wrote to me.. and apologized to me for YOUR actions... maybe
you should look at those you call your friends and SHUT UP for a
minute... people are hurting in the world.. I just needed some help..I
didnt hold a sign on a street corner in front of you saying "Homeless
will work for food".... Wait.. maybe you are one of those people who
kicks homeless people... or screams at them to get a job... I believe
in Karma... good come to those who do good for others.. if thats the
case.. I will go far in this life... I will be in heaven...

Think about your actions... If you were a Man... I would look at you
and say... "Do you feel like a BIG man now???? Picking on someone who
is probably a fourth of your age...???? does it make you feel better
about yourself...

I honestly hope you sleep well at night... and think about what I said
to you..

I came here as a person.. who just needed some help.. and you blew me
out of the fkin water... Yeah, I said that... I'm glad you chose to
raise your children like that... I have been a wonderful daughter.. I
was voted Cosmopoliton's Female entrepreneur of the year last year, I
have been on the deans list.. made great grades kept my family proud..
I have sat by my mother through thick and thin, while she was in her
hospital bed... while she cried.. so dont act or make me seem like I
am a bad person because I came on here and shared something with
you.... You choose to post in this section to write to people about
quilting... shouldnt you be spending time with your friends and
children?? Isnt that calling the kettle black???

I have talked to several people from here.. personally via email...
you have been the only one... to SNIP at me... You are the one who has
something negative to write about everything... I hope you never end
up in a situation where you are desperately hurting.. and need help
from people.. and you go somewhere for it... It would hurt you, if
they spit in your face like you have mine...

Thanks for being bitchy..

I have been respectful and kind.. and just trying to tell my story and
you have been nothing but ugly... I hope this keeps you awake at
night... knowing you hurt someone so young.. Thanks... you must be a
GREAT mom..



CNYstitcher wrote in message ...
I wasn't slamming, I was offereing other suggestions. If my mother were
in this situation, I would do all I could to help her, except post to
this group asking for monetary help. If that meant leaving the home
that i have worked hard to have, I would. If that meant going into
debt, I would. I would go through local avenues of selling my
belongings rather than post on the internet - ebay charges a fee
regardless of if your items sell, the local paper only charges a fee for
listing items.

Despite the fact that my mother and I do not get along as well as you
and your mother seem to, I would do anything short of taking my own life
to help her. That is not a selfish statement, that is fact - I have a
small child and another on the way. For them to not have a mother would
be cruel to them. My mother wouldn't want my life anyway because she
would want me to be with my children. She wouldn't want me to put
myself through any hardship, but I would because she is my mom.

I am glad that you have a full-time job, you could still move back home,
however and save even more money. As I said, these are not slams, just
suggestions that came to mind while reading your posts.

I am still a child... what can you say you knew at 22??
The same as you know now???? If thats the case then I should be a
genius?? I have a whole life to learn, and being 5 feet tall doesnt
help any.


If you still consider yourself to be a child after making a decision to
enroll in a school that costs 40K, then we have extremely different
views of what a child is. YOu made this decision, now you have another
one that you need to make. I knew a lot at 22, not everything that I
know now, but enough to know that I wasn't in a position to attend a 40K
school. I was actually accepted into a rather prestigious college -
Johns Hopkins - and declined going (even though I *really* wanted to)
because of the financial burden it would have put on myself and my
family. Instead, I went to a local college and earned my degree. A
more responsible choice, and one that I have never regretted.

What the hell does your height have to do with anything?? I'm 5'7"
whoopie, who cares? Want me to tell you how tall the rest of my family
is? It has no bearing on anything but may be yet another way you want
us to feel sorry for you, I don't know. I can't see into your mind as
to why you think this is important for us to know.

I had a cancer scare and would have done anything that would have helped
me, with one condition, that it not be detrimental to my family in any
way. I had suggested another option that has helped thousands of people
and personally, helped me lose 60 pounds. If you didn't want my advice,
don't read my posts. If you don't want the advice of others, don't post
any more to the group.


I said , and will continue to say that I was offering other options.


I didnt ask to be hurt... and if anything... my feelings have just
been crushed... I didnt ask for you to give me money... I just asked
to trade... :*(



You didn't ask to trade, you offered things for sale, there is a
difference. Any sympathy I felt for you adn your mother (and other
siblings) has been decreased by you obviously being so self-focused that
you are taking everything thing I said as an attack...the perils of
being young....it was offered as optiong, and some were actually questions.

If you were hurt, you would want your daughter to do the same... or
would you be honored your daughter did this?? MY mom doesnt know I am
doing this for her... I just want to repay her for the love and
support she has given me...


I wouldn't want my daughter to ask total strangers to contribute to my
helath care or her college. The way my husband and I are raising our
son (and will be raising our daughter) is to be self-sufficient, and to
show respect to us. You are doing that in that you are trying to help
your mother. How we choose to raise our children is our decision, and
there are many other facets that you need not know as our life is just
that - ours. YOu chose to share your life with people who don't know
you and have never "met" you before. You can't blame any of us for
being skeptical. If a member had posted for you, a member that the
majority of the group knew, there might have been a little less doubt.
HOwever, that didn't happen.

I and many others have tried to offer advice in whatever way we could,
you have chosen to get snippy with me over my post. I posted without
knowing what the entire situation was, so my responses were based only
on what you originally shared. Keep that in mind next time you choose
to repond.

Larisa

I was told to come here by one of your fellow memebers..
I didnt JUST find this site...

I am not in the wrong for posting something like this.. If you dont
like it... then you shouldnt have read it.. am I right or does freedom
of press not exist anymore???

I think those who commented, took it into their own hands when they
chose to read it.. by law, if you open it.. you are negotiating to its
terms regardless of what it says...
I am just going to leave and go about my way... but maybe you should
turn your head and look around you at who is giving out YOUR name to
others to post here.......
??


Kate Dicey wrote in message ...
Having read this thread through careful before commenting, I would just
say:

You caused severe offence by trying to sell ANYTHING he this is a
NEWS group, not a marketplace group, and selling anything is very
severely frowned upon. You would have done better to read the rules for
news groups in general, where this is clearly set set out, and for this
group in particular, which has fought a long hard battle against
spammers. You would also have done much better to lurk for a day or two
and READ all the posts, to see what sort of a group this is, or to ASK
if posting ads was acceptable and to be shown the charter for this
group. Instead you jumped in with both feet and landed on a lot of
sensibilities, bruising them. You ignored the social mores of the
group, and you wonder why you got a poor reception? Your personal
circumstances, severe though they may be, are irrelevant to this issue.

You will have to understand that we will also remain sceptical about the
person you say sent you here. Were they a regular poster and taking a
full part in what goes on here, all this would be well known to them and
one thing they

There are several of us here who's circumstances are at least as dire as
those you describe. When their troubles hit them, we as a group do our
best to support them in whatever way we can. We have supported our
friends through divorce, marriage, death of loved ones, cancer (there
are a number of these ongoing at present), loss of jobs and loss of
mobility. They may also ask us to help with ideas for raising money,
but none of them try to sell us things in an inappropriate place and
manner.

There are also those of us here who are professional quilters of various
sorts as well as amateurs and new quilters. Most if us are here to
exchange ideas and skills, information, and even fabric Sometimes we
exchange whole blocks. This is the thing about this group: we exchange
like for like. We don't BUY quilts - we MAKE them. This group is for
people to exchange things to do with making quilts for ourselves.
Occasionally we get together and make a quilt for a member of the group,
for a particular reason. If something terrible happens, we make a hug
quilt for that person. That person does NOT try to blackmail his or her
friends on the news group into buying their quilts with harrowing
tales. They may well ask for (and get in abundance - and I speak from
experience here) prayers for themselves and their loved ones, but no-one
has yet asked for money.

Sometimes we find a quilty project cannot be completed without a bit of
begging: there are times when we run out of a particular fabric and
cannot get it anywhere. We ask here, and sometimes the fabric is freely
given, out of love, and sometimes a swap is arranged. There is always a
barter or exchange happening here, but not of money - not a sale.

Your story is neither unusual nor different from many others that do the
rounds as begging spams daily. We have no way of checking its veracity,
and with so many being stung like this before, we will remain sceptical
and leery of such attempts at gaining sympathy. It reads like so many
of the 'charity' begging letters that amount to nothing more than
emotional blackmail. Some of these come from very respectable and well
known organizations, like Oxfam and Amnesty International, as well as
from individuals, and they may come via the mail or via the internet,
but they amount to the same thing: unsolicited begging. This may not
have been your intention, but this is how it came across. Now, WE did
not write the tale: that is wholly your responsibility, and if it did
not do as you hoped it would, you have to ask yourself why not.

Your posting was spam: an unsolicited advertisement to a news only
group.

It's a begging letter: you ask for 'donations'.

This may sound a little hard, but you also need to ask yourself, who
caused the offence? And having answered this honestly, you then need to
say, What can I do to put this right? Then you need to do it.

P.S. There is a very supportive Weight Watchers news group, and also
various other diet support groups on the net that will help your mother
in every way they can.

I am disabled. I do not get around much. Therefore I am able to
maintain a perfectly healthy lifestyle on a balanced 600 to 800 calories
a day. A "normal" person could NOT live on my food intake, I agree.
You must adjust your intake and activity level for YOUR own lifestyle.
I sit in my chair and bounce my legs and wave my arms and anything I can
do to keep moving. That's MY work-out. We do what we can..... MY plans
WORKS (for ME)!!!

Leslie

The HairyFacedOnes 'N Me

RCTQ- Houston 2004..... A good friend will come and bail you out of
jail.... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...
that was fun!"