OT Oh my gosh!

I have just been stunned speechless by our kiri's gramma.
The dear lady is 80+years old, and has been a widow for the last two.
She had been living in a senior's condo development, but decided the
house was too big and has recently moved in with relations in Ohio.

From quilting to housekeeping, whatever she does, she does stunningly
well.
It is what she does not do that has me (and a good many family members)
stunned. She has been paying cash for everything since her husband died,
she does not know how to write a check, indeed she does not know where
the checkbook is, nor even what it looks like. She has been totally
dependent on an aide at the development to help pay her bills because she
says she never did such things when hubby was alive, and never learned
how to read them. She has moved in with relatives because she has never
shopped for a place to live by herself, and depended on her husband to
determine if a house was a place that the roof was going to fall in on or
a decent place.

I know some of the older generations did things differently, and had more
clearly defined male and female roles, but for heavens sake! It has been
two years and she hasn't learned to do such basic things!

I gather that the folk she is living with are going to try and teach her
at least enough for her to get by on her own should she decide to do so.

They are also going to be looking over her finances to make sure she
hasn't been politely and helpfully robbed over the past two years.

NightMist

--
I'm raising a developmentally disabled child. What's your superpower?

On 27/01/2011 06:06, NightMist wrote:

I have just been stunned speechless by our kiri's gramma.
The dear lady is 80+years old, and has been a widow for the last two.
She had been living in a senior's condo development, but decided the
house was too big and has recently moved in with relations in Ohio.

From quilting to housekeeping, whatever she does, she does stunningly
well.
It is what she does not do that has me (and a good many family members)
stunned. She has been paying cash for everything since her husband died,
she does not know how to write a check, indeed she does not know where
the checkbook is, nor even what it looks like. She has been totally
dependent on an aide at the development to help pay her bills because she
says she never did such things when hubby was alive, and never learned
how to read them. She has moved in with relatives because she has never
shopped for a place to live by herself, and depended on her husband to
determine if a house was a place that the roof was going to fall in on or
a decent place.

I know some of the older generations did things differently, and had more
clearly defined male and female roles, but for heavens sake! It has been
two years and she hasn't learned to do such basic things!

I gather that the folk she is living with are going to try and teach her
at least enough for her to get by on her own should she decide to do so.

They are also going to be looking over her finances to make sure she
hasn't been politely and helpfully robbed over the past two years.

NightMist

Stunning, isn't it. Contrast with my dear mum, departed this life 23
December 2010: she and Dad had a joint account from the day they
married. After the first disastrous trip abroad, when dad took the
chequebook with him by mistake, she took charge of the family exchequer
and payed everything (shopping, household bills, rent etc.) except my
father's account with the tailor (for uniforms as well as civvies) and
his mess bill. He would 'borrow' the cheque book to pay those.

To the last she balanced her account every month and knew what she had
coming in, what needed to go out, and when. Far better at money
management than I'll ever be!

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

My grandmother died in 1991, age 82. She never wrote a check in her life.
After grandfather died she still lived alone, but Mom & I would pay her
bills. She worked in the cotton mill from age 12 until she retired. In
1980 she was surprised to learn she could go to the bank and get a small
loan to buy a small camper. She also sewed and made most of my, and my
sister's clothes. Mom, Dad, sister and I lived with our grandparents until
I was 14. I was always amazed at what she could do.
Barbara in FL

It is too bad more folks aren't surprised they can get a loan for a camper.
People would be better off if they didn't go get themselves in trouble with
too many loans. Some of those old gals that didn't write checks were strong
in ways that are foreign to us. I have an older lady friend that is dealing
with end of life issues for her husband. She never learned to drive. Now
she is over 80, in a rural spot and in a bad way. Sometimes that stuff takes
awhile to catch up with you, other times it doesn't.
Taria

"Bobbie Sews More" wrote in message
m...
My grandmother died in 1991, age 82. She never wrote a check in her life.
After grandfather died she still lived alone, but Mom & I would pay her
bills. She worked in the cotton mill from age 12 until she retired. In
1980 she was surprised to learn she could go to the bank and get a small
loan to buy a small camper. She also sewed and made most of my, and my
sister's clothes. Mom, Dad, sister and I lived with our grandparents
until I was 14. I was always amazed at what she could do.
Barbara in FL

Not terribly uncommon. When I was doing paramedical life insurance
physicals, I went to a lady's home to do one on her. Her DH had died, and
her son told her she needed life insurance (which she did). In talking with
her, she had no idea how to pay for it, as he paid all bills and did all the
banking. I spent a good 3 hours with her helping her to understand how to
manage. Not my job, but she trusted me and needed help, so I did so.
People don't realize that they're doing their spouse no favors by doing
everything. There are a lot of people in dire staights because they don't
know how to function without the deceased spouse.
Gen

"NightMist" wrote in message
...

I have just been stunned speechless by our kiri's gramma.
The dear lady is 80+years old, and has been a widow for the last two.
She had been living in a senior's condo development, but decided the
house was too big and has recently moved in with relations in Ohio.

From quilting to housekeeping, whatever she does, she does stunningly
well.
It is what she does not do that has me (and a good many family members)
stunned. She has been paying cash for everything since her husband died,
she does not know how to write a check, indeed she does not know where
the checkbook is, nor even what it looks like. She has been totally
dependent on an aide at the development to help pay her bills because she
says she never did such things when hubby was alive, and never learned
how to read them. She has moved in with relatives because she has never
shopped for a place to live by herself, and depended on her husband to
determine if a house was a place that the roof was going to fall in on or
a decent place.

I know some of the older generations did things differently, and had more
clearly defined male and female roles, but for heavens sake! It has been
two years and she hasn't learned to do such basic things!

I gather that the folk she is living with are going to try and teach her
at least enough for her to get by on her own should she decide to do so.

They are also going to be looking over her finances to make sure she
hasn't been politely and helpfully robbed over the past two years.

NightMist

--
I'm raising a developmentally disabled child. What's your superpower?