DECEMBER'S BLOCKS - 2005-2006 RCTQ Block-of-the-Month (BOM)

Thanks for sharing. My DSister is almost constantly in pain from a back
injury and other problems and walks with a cane. She is also bipolar.
With all this, sometimes she says that she thinks of ending it all. She is
married with 2 adult children. Sometimes I think if she had a close friend
to talk to, it would help her. She is 58. Our mom was placed in a nursing
home 2 days ago. When driving to see mom yesterday, Dsister was involved in
a 1 car accident that may have totaled the car. Thankfully she was not
injured except for the bruises.
Barbara in SC
"

" So sad for all concerned. I have always told the children I have taught
that they must never, ever pass any kind of judgement on someone who takes
their own life, whatever the circumstances. I do believe that is how we
should all think.
I trust I am not offending anyone by saying that.

I wholeheartedly agree with your comment. As a child who lost her mother to
suicide at the age of 3, I have always believed something just snapped in
her mind at that moment. Just minutes prior, we were on the front porch
talking to a neighbor & all seemed perfectly normal. No notes left,
nothing..........I cannot believe she meant to give her family a lifetime of
pain wondering WHY.

Mary in OH

I've frequently thought -- and said -- that humans are much kinder to
our QIs than we are to ourselves. We know when the animal members of our
family are suffering too much and need relief and release, yet we're not
allowed to do the same for ourselves. I know there are issues of how to
know that someone made a truly informed choice, rather than being forced
into something they didn't want or doing something permanent as a result
of mental illness or other less obvious reasons, but I think we should
be allowed to do what we feel is necessary for ourselves without our
loved ones having to suffer or leave us to do it alone. JMHO.



--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
my ISP is earthlink.net -- put sfoster1(at) in front
http://home.earthlink.net/~sfoster1

AKA Dame Sandy, Minister of Education

My DD has recently been diagnosed with Manic-Depressive/Bi-polar Disease
and has often said how painful her life can be when she is in her low
times.[...] The Lithium has evened it out some but has horrible side
effects.
Her hand trembles so much that she can no longer hand quilt or cross stitch
and that breaks her heart. They are still working with the dosage but her
neurologist says she may have to live with this particular side effect in
order to even out the mood swings.
The hand tremors are called tardive dyskinesia.

No they aren't. That's a side-effect of drugs used for schizophrenia.

There are more than a few mental health drugs that can cause it.
Often switching drugs can stop it while still taking care of the
symptoms you are taking it for. If you do not switch off on the drugs
the tremors may become permanent.

That's the case with tardive dyskinesia, but NOT with lithium. Lithium
tremors are reversible.

It is still a hell of a dangerous drug. There are other drugs with
differently nasty side-effects - carbamazepine is the most commonly
used. Therapy for bipolar disorder is mainly a matter of choosing
which set of gruesome side-effects you least object to putting up with
for the rest of your life, but at least none of the usual options
involves permanent brain damage, as can happen with anti-schizophrenia
medication.

I was briefly on lithium for depression 30 years ago. Tried it twice
a few months apart.. Both times I developed screaming night terrors,
on one occasion waking up to find myself in the cold air halfway out
of an upper-floor window after tearing the flyscreen off it. That one
isn't even in any reference book I've seen, so in overall terms it
counts as minor.

============== j-c ====== @ ====== purr . demon . co . uk ==============
Jack Campin: 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland | tel 0131 660 4760
http://www.purr.demon.co.uk/jack/ for CD-ROMs and free | fax 0870 0554 975
stuff: Scottish music, food intolerance, & Mac logic fonts | mob 07800 739 557

Thank you Sandy, very eloquently put and just exactly how I feel.
Especially for my grandmother. Who wants to leave this earth, but is
too dignified to "hurt her children" in "that way."

Hugs,
Tina

Sandy, I agree with you 100%.
--
Donna in Idaho
Website: www.LinusIdaho.org

"Sandy Foster" wrote in message
...
I've frequently thought -- and said -- that humans are much kinder to
our QIs than we are to ourselves. We know when the animal members of our
family are suffering too much and need relief and release, yet we're not
allowed to do the same for ourselves. I know there are issues of how to
know that someone made a truly informed choice, rather than being forced
into something they didn't want or doing something permanent as a result
of mental illness or other less obvious reasons, but I think we should
be allowed to do what we feel is necessary for ourselves without our
loved ones having to suffer or leave us to do it alone. JMHO.



--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
my ISP is earthlink.net -- put sfoster1(at) in front
http://home.earthlink.net/~sfoster1

AKA Dame Sandy, Minister of Education

What a difficult time for all of you. I remember when my mom went into a
nursing home. You will be in my thoughts.

--Heidi
Plattsburgh (UPstate) NY

http://community.webshots.com/user/rabbit2b



--

"Bobbie Sews Moore" wrote in message
ink.net...
Thanks for sharing. My DSister is almost constantly in pain from a back
injury and other problems and walks with a cane. She is also bipolar.
With all this, sometimes she says that she thinks of ending it all. She
is married with 2 adult children. Sometimes I think if she had a close
friend to talk to, it would help her. She is 58. Our mom was placed in a
nursing home 2 days ago. When driving to see mom yesterday, Dsister was
involved in a 1 car accident that may have totaled the car. Thankfully
she was not injured except for the bruises.
Barbara in SC
"

I am so sorry that happened. Being premeditated--or done out of anger and
spite--doesn't preclude her being convinced that there was no other way, or
being mentally ill, or feeling she would truly be better off. It's an awful
thing for the survivors in any case, but it sounds all the more so that in
the period before she took her life she wasn't in her right mind. Clearly
she behaved in a way very different from the way your DH had known and loved
her.

My mom had Alzheimer's and was extremely difficult when she went to Florida
to visit an old and dear friend. The friend and I spoke after my mom had
left and she said my mom had been awful and that she was very angry and
hurt. My mom hadn't yet been diagnosed, and had not yet been acting strange
at home and in familiar places, so I just listened to her friend not knowing
what to believe. Later, when it became clear that my mom had been suffering
from the disease even then and I tried to tell this to her friend, she
couldn't let go of her anger. I was heartbroken to think that her friend
continued to believe that my mom knew what she was doing, that a friendship
over 50 years was destroyed, and that her friend continued to feel hurt and
angry the rest of her life.

--Heidi
Plattsburgh (UPstate) NY

http://community.webshots.com/user/rabbit2b



--

"IMS" wrote in message
...
Wise words...but hard to do when faced with the situation sometimes. I
believe some people chose suicide because they feel there is no other
choice, because they are mentally ill, or because they feel they will
truly be better off. But that is not always the case.

My DH's aunt took her life three years ago (she was a psychologist, too)
and between the note she left, the way/timing she did it, and the
'things' she labeled (what went to who) we cannot help but feel she did
it out of anger and spite. It was very premeditated. We also now
realize her visit east three months earlier was for her to 'see'
everyone before she left us, and maybe to make sure we remembered her.
Problem is, between the note and the other things she did and left
behind, we don't have fond memories of her. It's very sad, she was DH's
favorite aunt and now he won't speak of her.

-Irene

On Sun, 11 Dec 2005 20:56:10 +0000, Patti
wrote:

Thanks Tia Mary.
So sad for all concerned. I have always told the children I have taught
that they must never, ever pass any kind of judgement on someone who
takes their own life, whatever the circumstances. I do believe that is
how we should all think.
I trust I am not offending anyone by saying that.
.



--------------
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
--Mae West
--------------

Thanks Heidi, All warm thoughts and prayers gratefully appreciated. I
treasure all my RCTQ friends!
Barbara in SC
"hfw" wrote in message
...
What a difficult time for all of you. I remember when my mom went into a
nursing home. You will be in my thoughts.

--Heidi
Plattsburgh (UPstate) NY

http://community.webshots.com/user/rabbit2b



--

"Bobbie Sews Moore" wrote in message
ink.net...
Thanks for sharing. My DSister is almost constantly in pain from a back
injury and other problems and walks with a cane. She is also bipolar.
With all this, sometimes she says that she thinks of ending it all. She
is married with 2 adult children. Sometimes I think if she had a close
friend to talk to, it would help her. She is 58. Our mom was placed in
a nursing home 2 days ago. When driving to see mom yesterday, Dsister
was involved in a 1 car accident that may have totaled the car.
Thankfully she was not injured except for the bruises.
Barbara in SC
"

I have a cousin that is in a coma---has MS and had a series of strokes. She
is being kept alive via a feeding tube. Don't know ANY details other than
the family is very upset about that.

Butterfly (she's younger than I by a few months)

"Donna in Idaho" wrote in message
...
Sandy, I agree with you 100%.
--
Donna in Idaho
Website: www.LinusIdaho.org

"Sandy Foster" wrote in message
...
I've frequently thought -- and said -- that humans are much kinder to
our QIs than we are to ourselves. We know when the animal members of our
family are suffering too much and need relief and release, yet we're not
allowed to do the same for ourselves. I know there are issues of how to
know that someone made a truly informed choice, rather than being forced
into something they didn't want or doing something permanent as a result
of mental illness or other less obvious reasons, but I think we should
be allowed to do what we feel is necessary for ourselves without our
loved ones having to suffer or leave us to do it alone. JMHO.



--
Sandy in Henderson, near Las Vegas
my ISP is earthlink.net -- put sfoster1(at) in front
http://home.earthlink.net/~sfoster1

AKA Dame Sandy, Minister of Education