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#11
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IMO you are well rid of her! (Will Chicago be far enough?) Swatch from her
couch indeed! This is about the rudest thing I've ever heard. I'd buy her a copy of "Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior" as a farewell gift. Now you take a few minutes every morning to practice saying "no, thank you" in front of the mirror. Smile sweetly, look yourself in the eye, and repeat 10 times. Roberta in D "Sk8eraunt" wrote in message ... Most of you know I'm a new quilter. Because of work and other weekend obligations, it took me seven months to make a simple wall hanging. Here's my problem. I work with a girl who will be moving back home to Chicago in May. She has been hinting that it would be really nice if she could have some kind of momento to bring home with her...something like a nice quilt. I don't really know this girl that well. We work in the same department, but that's about it. I'm not really sure I want to spend all the time and energy into making her a quilt when I haven't even made one for my own family. When I started hemming and hawing about making the quilt, she said, "I'll bring you a swatch from my couch so you can match the fabric." (yes, she has a very assertive personality!) What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall hanging instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy pattern? TIA, kaila |
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#12
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Kaila,
I would suggest doing a very simple wall hanging. One block set on point with setting triangles in a "focus" fabric. Perhaps a star block, and using southwest type fabric to remind her of her time in Arizona. Something with saguaros and other cactus or something. Pati, in Phx. Sk8eraunt wrote: Most of you know I'm a new quilter. Because of work and other weekend obligations, it took me seven months to make a simple wall hanging. Here's my problem. I work with a girl who will be moving back home to Chicago in May. She has been hinting that it would be really nice if she could have some kind of momento to bring home with her...something like a nice quilt. I don't really know this girl that well. We work in the same department, but that's about it. I'm not really sure I want to spend all the time and energy into making her a quilt when I haven't even made one for my own family. When I started hemming and hawing about making the quilt, she said, "I'll bring you a swatch from my couch so you can match the fabric." (yes, she has a very assertive personality!) What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall hanging instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy pattern? TIA, kaila |
#14
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Either she doesn't know the value of quilting, or she's got incredible
chutzpah. In either case, I think you should "just say no!" You might say to her, "I'm flattered, but..." (...but you'll have to take a number, I'm 73 behind right now;...but I'm not committing to any new quilts at this time; etc.) CHOOSE ONE. Keep it simple. But do say no. --Heidi http://community.webshots.com/user/rabbit2b "Sk8eraunt" wrote in message ... Most of you know I'm a new quilter. Because of work and other weekend obligations, it took me seven months to make a simple wall hanging. Here's my problem. I work with a girl who will be moving back home to Chicago in May. She has been hinting that it would be really nice if she could have some kind of momento to bring home with her...something like a nice quilt. I don't really know this girl that well. We work in the same department, but that's about it. I'm not really sure I want to spend all the time and energy into making her a quilt when I haven't even made one for my own family. When I started hemming and hawing about making the quilt, she said, "I'll bring you a swatch from my couch so you can match the fabric." (yes, she has a very assertive personality!) What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall hanging instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy pattern? TIA, kaila |
#15
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Hullo Kaila
Whew! what a difficult position she has put you into. However, I do think it is a bit much and over-assertive. The fact that you haven't made those you yourself want to make should be quite sufficient reason for saying that you can't possible. It has taken me forty years to learn to say no (from adulthood that is!!); and, I am only now getting to be reasonably competent g. Sadly, hemming and hawing always leaves an opening for the pushy to get through. If you feel you must, then perhaps a placemat? she did say a memento didn't she. But, I really agree with the others, it is not something you should feel you *have* to do. .. In article , Sk8eraunt writes Most of you know I'm a new quilter. Because of work and other weekend obligations, it took me seven months to make a simple wall hanging. Here's my problem. I work with a girl who will be moving back home to Chicago in May. She has been hinting that it would be really nice if she could have some kind of momento to bring home with her...something like a nice quilt. I don't really know this girl that well. We work in the same department, but that's about it. I'm not really sure I want to spend all the time and energy into making her a quilt when I haven't even made one for my own family. When I started hemming and hawing about making the quilt, she said, "I'll bring you a swatch from my couch so you can match the fabric." (yes, she has a very assertive personality!) What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall hanging instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy pattern? TIA, kaila -- Best Regards pat on the hill |
#16
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"Sk8eraunt" wrote in message ... What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall hanging instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy pattern? What you should do is ask yourself why you're thinking about making her a quilt at all. Is it something you would enjoy every minute of doing and were hitting yourself on the head saying "of course!" the minute she suggested it? Or are you thinking about it because she's being pushy? And if this is a gift from your heart, why are you worried if you can "get away" with a wall hanging. (The answer is "of course it's fine!") There are lots of polite ways to tell her "no" if you're not comfortable with the direct approach. You could offer to go shopping with her, and help her pick out her own bedding to purchase, and maybe even treat her to lunch in the deal. You could offer to teach her how to make her own quilt ("Gee, wouldn't that make a great memory of our city? And you'd see how much time and effort goes into making even a small quilt!"). But do yourself AND her a favor -- don't make her a quilt just because she's pushy. She won't really appreciate it, you'll resent it, and you'll only be rewarding bad behavior. -- Kathy A. (Woodland, CA) longarm machine quilting, Queen of Fabric Tramps http://www.kayneyquilting.com , remove the obvious to reply |
#17
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"Julia Altshuler" wrote in message news:wzrZb.24090$4o.41645@attbi_s52... .. What on earth is going to happen to you if she doesn't like your contribution to her going away present? snip She'll call the FBI and tell them she's disappointed? Now you get right over here and clean up my monitor!!! -- Kathy A. (Woodland, CA) longarm machine quilting, Queen of Fabric Tramps http://www.kayneyquilting.com , remove the obvious to reply |
#18
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Kathy Applebaum wrote:
She'll call the FBI and tell them she's disappointed? Now you get right over here and clean up my monitor!!! Oh good! Someone was paying attention. And now I'm going to say something that many of you will find even funnier. I am going to defend the lady who asked for asked for a memento to bring home with her in the form of a nice quilt. I can't see that she did anything wrong. When I was at the fish market, I asked if they had tilapia. The answer was no. Was I pushy for asking? I called my friend to see if she'd like to get together with me over the weekend. She was busy with her husband. Was I impolite for asking? I called my neighbor to see if she could recommend a veterinarian. She couldn't. Should I not have called? I have a quilting buddy who frequently gives me fabric and takes fabric from my stash. Sometimes I see something I like, ask for it and get told no. But sometimes I get told yes. Was I rude? The bottom line is that I ask people for things all the time. I ask them to do me favors, spend time with me, give me advice, even give me stuff. If I didn't ask, I wouldn't get an answer. This coworker of yours asked for a quilt to match her couch. Maybe she knows how much work goes into making a quilt. Maybe she doesn't. Either way, all she did was ask. I've noticed a disturbing trend in the way the meanings of words are getting mixed and mangled. When Manuel Smith's _When I Say No, I Feel Guilty_ came out, he introduced the word "assertive" to mean honest, straightforward, plainspoken-- all postive notions. He gave techniques for getting what you want without resorting to manipulation, lying, bullying, being underhanded. The book was a great boon to me. I recommend it to everyone. The next thing you know, people who had previously been unassertive, people who either were used to counting on others to know what they wanted without asking (with advanced mind-reading techniques?), or were used to getting what they wanted with manipulation, were using the word "assertive" to mean all things negative. Suddenly assertive = pushy. --Lia |
#19
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LOL - get out of it really easy. Make a 12" block then write down some
instructions on how to finish a quilt top and slip them into a card. Tell her you thought she'd get more enjoyment from the quilt if she made it herself! -- Sharon From Melbourne Australia (Queen of Down Under) http://www.geocities.com/shazrules/index.html "Taria" wrote in message ... Why on earth would she think you should make her a quilt? I would call her rude more than assertive. IF you have the time and inclination make her a small wall quilt. I would suggest you tell her you don't have time. As soon as everyone at work thinks they can put in an order they are all going to expect free quilts. Get her a nice card and wish her well in her life. She needs to learn that gifts are gifts, not demands. Taria Sk8eraunt wrote: Most of you know I'm a new quilter. Because of work and other weekend obligations, it took me seven months to make a simple wall hanging. Here's my problem. I work with a girl who will be moving back home to Chicago in May. She has been hinting that it would be really nice if she could have some kind of momento to bring home with her...something like a nice quilt. I don't really know this girl that well. We work in the same department, but that's about it. I'm not really sure I want to spend all the time and energy into making her a quilt when I haven't even made one for my own family. When I started hemming and hawing about making the quilt, she said, "I'll bring you a swatch from my couch so you can match the fabric." (yes, she has a very assertive personality!) What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall hanging instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy pattern? TIA, kaila |
#20
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On 20 Feb 2004 14:28:54 GMT, (Sk8eraunt) wrote:
Most of you know I'm a new quilter. Because of work and other weekend obligations, it took me seven months to make a simple wall hanging. Here's my problem. I work with a girl who will be moving back home to Chicago in May. She has been hinting that it would be really nice if she could have some kind of momento to bring home with her...something like a nice quilt. I don't really know this girl that well. We work in the same department, but that's about it. I'm not really sure I want to spend all the time and energy into making her a quilt when I haven't even made one for my own family. When I started hemming and hawing about making the quilt, she said, "I'll bring you a swatch from my couch so you can match the fabric." (yes, she has a very assertive personality!) What should I do? Do you think I could get away with making her a wall hanging instead of a full-sized quilt? Also, what would you suggest as an easy pattern? TIA, kaila Tell her that you are sorry that you don't have time to make her a quilt and leave it at that. Don't be intimidated into doing something you don't want to do. Mardi Real e-mail address spelled out to prevent spam. mardi at mardiweb dot com. ____________________ My Quilting page: http://www.mardiweb.com/quilts/MardiQuilts.html Paint Shop Pro tutorials: http://www.mardiweb.com/web Low-Fat Lifestyle Forum: http://www.mardiweb.com/lowfat |
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