OT - jokes...

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could,
trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be
late!"

While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell,getting
her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off,
and started running again.

As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be
late... But please don't shove me either!"

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him
the money now, will he let us go?"

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no
male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service
she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them
to take me out when I'm dead.

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to
arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to
go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie
replied, "Because people are sleeping."

Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with
them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and
thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat
our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered,
"Thou shall not kill."

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including
human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how
Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother
noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the
matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going
to have a wife."

Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing strong preaching
on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan
stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out.
It's probably just your dad."

Snicker, snicker! Thanks!

--
Carolyn in The Old Pueblo

If it ain't broke, you aren't trying. --Red Green
If it ain't broke, it ain't mine. Carolyn McCarty

"LN (remove NOSPAM)" wrote in message
...
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she
could,
trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be
late!"

While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell,getting
her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off,
and started running again.

As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me
be
late... But please don't shove me either!"

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give
him
the money now, will he let us go?"

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no
male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service
she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them
to take me out when I'm dead.

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had
to
arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them
to
go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie
replied, "Because people are sleeping."

Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with
them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, "They couldn't get a
baby-sitter."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father
and
thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to tre
at
our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered,
"Thou shall not kill."

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including
human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him
how
Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother
noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is
the
matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm
going
to have a wife."

Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing strong
preaching
on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this
Satan
stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out.
It's probably just your dad."

She's baaaaaack! Thanks for the laugh LN!

Lorraine

"Carolyn McCarty" wrote in message
...
Snicker, snicker! Thanks!

--
Carolyn in The Old Pueblo

If it ain't broke, you aren't trying. --Red Green
If it ain't broke, it ain't mine. Carolyn McCarty

"LN (remove NOSPAM)" wrote in message
...
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she
could,
trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear
Lord,
please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be
late!"

While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and
fell,getting
her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself
off,
and started running again.

As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me
be
late... But please don't shove me either!"

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and
on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give
him
the money now, will he let us go?"

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no
male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service
she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want
them
to take me out when I'm dead.

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you
had
to
arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed
them
to
go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie
replied, "Because people are sleeping."

Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus
with
them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, "They couldn't get a
baby-sitter."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father
and
thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
tre
at
our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy
answered,
"Thou shall not kill."

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including
human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him
how
Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother
noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is
the
matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm
going
to have a wife."

Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing strong
preaching
on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this
Satan
stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned
out.
It's probably just your dad."

And I'm so glad she is!

--
Royce
A day hemmed in prayer is less likely to unravel.


"The Brown Family" wrote in message
. rogers.com...
She's baaaaaack! Thanks for the laugh LN!

Lorraine

"Carolyn McCarty" wrote in message
...
Snicker, snicker! Thanks!

--
Carolyn in The Old Pueblo

If it ain't broke, you aren't trying. --Red Green
If it ain't broke, it ain't mine. Carolyn McCarty

"LN (remove NOSPAM)" wrote in message
...
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she
could,
trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear
Lord,
please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be
late!"

While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and
fell,getting
her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself
off,
and started running again.

As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let
me
be
late... But please don't shove me either!"

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and
on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we
give
him
the money now, will he let us go?"

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested
no
male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service
she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want
them
to take me out when I'm dead.

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you
had
to
arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed
them
to
go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie
replied, "Because people are sleeping."

Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus
with
them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, "They couldn't get a
baby-sitter."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
father
and
thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
tre
at
our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy
answered,
"Thou shall not kill."

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including
human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told
him
how
Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his
mother
noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what
is
the
matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm
going
to have a wife."

Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing strong
preaching
on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this
Satan
stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned
out.
It's probably just your dad."