Dear Red States

Jangchub wrote:
On Wed, 12 Nov 2008 18:51:15 -0800, Karen C in California
wrote:

Then we finally hit on the right pills, and things started to improve.
This time with plenty of lecturing that feeling a little better did not
give me permission to go back to pushing to exhaustion.


May I ask you what medication you take? If it's personal, shoot me an
email. I'm just curious. The medications I take are geared toward
keeping me asleep all night with little interruption during REM.



That's what I'm taking, something that lowers the pain level so I can
sleep more than 2 hours a night.

The sleeping pills helped me sleep, but a strong enough dose to get me
through the night left me too doped up to work accurately the next day,
so I could only take them if I wasn't working (or at least, wasn't
working till after 6:30 PM). The pain pills leave me functional. If I
have to, I can even take one *while* I'm working so I can concentrate on
work.

Quite a change after the years of being refused pain pills and instead
repeatedly being given other pills I'd already tried and knew didn't
work or would cause a severe reaction (or both). (You should've heard
the doctor trying to explain how on page 1 of the report it says "DrugX
did not help" and on page 3 of the same report it says "prescribed
DrugX"! First swearing I never told him I'd tried DrugX before, then
trying to claim the report didn't say what it says.)

--
Karen C - California
Editor/Proofreader www.IntlProofingConsortium.com

"On his tombstone, Benjamin Franklin wanted it said not that he had been
rich
but rather that he had been useful."

Finished 10/7/08 - Sun Fun (Dimensions)

WIP: Nativity from "Countdown to Christmas" book, Oriental Kimono
(Janlynn),
MLI The Teacher (gift to the library), Bethany Angel (Marbek)
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel, MLI Farmers Market

CFSfacts -- where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf
Newest research blog: http://cfs-facts.blogspot.com/

Donna wrote:

Quoting Karen: No, I can't get into
accessible government housing for senior/disabled; you have to be on
government Disability benefits to qualify and I'm not."

Have I missed something in all these years of reading RCTN? Why aren't
you qualified for government disability?



If you're not on Disability or over a certain age, you don't qualify for
the accessible government housing for senior/disabled.

The judge keeps ignoring VocRehab's expertise that I'm far too impaired
for them to place me in a job, and making up his own "facts" (e.g., he
tells me that I have a husband who pays my bills -- I thought that guy
was my hired handyman who lives in his own house across town and I pay
his bill, but what do I know?); this judge has a reputation for not
giving anyone benefits till they hit 55, so it's just a matter of
waiting it out.

The question has always been, which happens first:
(a) I start to earn enough to disqualify myself from benefits,
(b) I hit 55 and he finally gives in,
(c) he dies of old age and I get a judge who plays by the rules and
looks at the evidence, or
(d) the Court of Appeal gets tired of him wasting taxpayer money on
umpteen unnecessary appeals and overrules him once and for all instead
of sending it back yet again with instructions to have an MD explain it
to him why these symptoms exceed the minimum requirement.

Although my lawyer assures me that we are "thiiis close" to (d), I was
betting on (a) myself till the economy went bad and the clients started
doing more of the work themselves to save money.


--
Karen C - California
Editor/Proofreader www.IntlProofingConsortium.com

"On his tombstone, Benjamin Franklin wanted it said not that he had been
rich
but rather that he had been useful."

Finished 10/7/08 - Sun Fun (Dimensions)

WIP: Nativity from "Countdown to Christmas" book, Oriental Kimono
(Janlynn),
MLI The Teacher (gift to the library), Bethany Angel (Marbek)
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel, MLI Farmers Market

CFSfacts -- where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf
Newest research blog: http://cfs-facts.blogspot.com/

lewmew wrote:

What in the world do you need done that a regular cleaning service
can't do?


Among other things, they will not do laundry (too many agencies sued for
damage to the house when a badly maintained washer leaked or dryer
caught fire). They will not carry even lightweight boxes to/from the
basement or another room (risk of back injury from lifting). They will
not stand on a chair or ladder to clean above their heads (risk of
injury falling) -- they won't even do the top of the fridge, much less
the cobwebs in the corner of the ceiling. All of which the agency's
insurance company won't allow; the last agency gal brought me a brochure
laying out all the stuff that was "don't even ask, we're not allowed to
do".

They're happy to mop (which I can do myself) and wipe the countertops
(which I can do myself) and dust (which I can do myself). (Although
some agencies tell them not to dust anything that looks expensive or
breakable, an excuse which that gal applied to just about everything in
the house, but from the get-go she appeared Not Happy that I was going
to hang around to ensure she worked instead of watching TV.)

Some agencies absolutely won't use oven cleaner, some will for an extra
charge -- I paid extra to have it done because I react to the chemicals,
and that was the most obvious thing she didn't do, but when you have to
pay in advance, you lose your leverage to "make them" do what you paid
for before they leave.

And most of them "choose" to interpret the request to "please put the
Tupperware in this cupboard and the pots in that one" to mean "find a
box to put it all in for Karen to put away herself later", which is not
what I'm paying them to do.

I am told that there are more expensive agencies (because they pay more
for insurance) who will do the "hazardous" things most agencies won't,
but so far I haven't found one in my city.


--
Karen C - California
Editor/Proofreader www.IntlProofingConsortium.com

"On his tombstone, Benjamin Franklin wanted it said not that he had been
rich
but rather that he had been useful."

Finished 10/7/08 - Sun Fun (Dimensions)

WIP: Nativity from "Countdown to Christmas" book, Oriental Kimono
(Janlynn),
MLI The Teacher (gift to the library), Bethany Angel (Marbek)
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel, MLI Farmers Market

CFSfacts -- where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf
Newest research blog: http://cfs-facts.blogspot.com/

Karen C in California wrote:
lewmew wrote:

What in the world do you need done that a regular cleaning service
can't do?


Among other things, they will not do laundry (too many agencies sued for
damage to the house when a badly maintained washer leaked or dryer
caught fire). They will not carry even lightweight boxes to/from the
basement or another room (risk of back injury from lifting). They will
not stand on a chair or ladder to clean above their heads (risk of
injury falling) -- they won't even do the top of the fridge, much less
the cobwebs in the corner of the ceiling. All of which the agency's
insurance company won't allow; the last agency gal brought me a brochure
laying out all the stuff that was "don't even ask, we're not allowed to
do".

They're happy to mop (which I can do myself) and wipe the countertops
(which I can do myself) and dust (which I can do myself). (Although
some agencies tell them not to dust anything that looks expensive or
breakable, an excuse which that gal applied to just about everything in
the house, but from the get-go she appeared Not Happy that I was going
to hang around to ensure she worked instead of watching TV.)

Some agencies absolutely won't use oven cleaner, some will for an extra
charge -- I paid extra to have it done because I react to the chemicals,
and that was the most obvious thing she didn't do, but when you have to
pay in advance, you lose your leverage to "make them" do what you paid
for before they leave.

And most of them "choose" to interpret the request to "please put the
Tupperware in this cupboard and the pots in that one" to mean "find a
box to put it all in for Karen to put away herself later", which is not
what I'm paying them to do.

I am told that there are more expensive agencies (because they pay more
for insurance) who will do the "hazardous" things most agencies won't,
but so far I haven't found one in my city.


OK, maybe this is a dumb question......but why go through an agency?? My
'housekeepers" have been local women, and do the things I ask them.
Obviously when the next to last one felt shaky on a stepstool, I didn't
ask her to do it anymore.

Overall, when they are hired, they ask what I want done , and quote me a
price accordingly. They also tell me when they will come, and bring
their own vacs/mops etc. This makes them self-employed, under IRS
definition, and are aware of it.

Gillian

"Karen C in California" wrote in message
...
lewmew wrote:

What in the world do you need done that a regular cleaning service
can't do?


Among other things, they will not do laundry (too many agencies sued for
damage to the house when a badly maintained washer leaked or dryer caught
fire). They will not carry even lightweight boxes to/from the basement or
another room (risk of back injury from lifting). They will not stand on a
chair or ladder to clean above their heads (risk of injury falling) --
they won't even do the top of the fridge, much less the cobwebs in the
corner of the ceiling. All of which the agency's insurance company won't
allow; the last agency gal brought me a brochure laying out all the stuff
that was "don't even ask, we're not allowed to do".

They're happy to mop (which I can do myself) and wipe the countertops
(which I can do myself) and dust (which I can do myself). (Although some
agencies tell them not to dust anything that looks expensive or breakable,
an excuse which that gal applied to just about everything in the house,
but from the get-go she appeared Not Happy that I was going to hang around
to ensure she worked instead of watching TV.)

Some agencies absolutely won't use oven cleaner, some will for an extra
charge -- I paid extra to have it done because I react to the chemicals,
and that was the most obvious thing she didn't do, but when you have to
pay in advance, you lose your leverage to "make them" do what you paid for
before they leave.

And most of them "choose" to interpret the request to "please put the
Tupperware in this cupboard and the pots in that one" to mean "find a box
to put it all in for Karen to put away herself later", which is not what
I'm paying them to do.


I'm a bit flabbergasted at your problem with housekeeping help. Why not
use your limited energy to put away the tupperware and pots and leave the
mopping and dusting for the housekeeper. The end result would still be the
same, a neat and clean home, and instead of tiring yourself with mopping,
you could straighten up the house and let them do the heavier work for you.
Perhaps if you kept it up and did a little each day, they might come in and
do the harder stuff for you happily.

L


I am told that there are more expensive agencies (because they pay more
for insurance) who will do the "hazardous" things most agencies won't, but
so far I haven't found one in my city.


--
Karen C - California
Editor/Proofreader www.IntlProofingConsortium.com

"On his tombstone, Benjamin Franklin wanted it said not that he had been
rich
but rather that he had been useful."

Finished 10/7/08 - Sun Fun (Dimensions)

WIP: Nativity from "Countdown to Christmas" book, Oriental Kimono
(Janlynn),
MLI The Teacher (gift to the library), Bethany Angel (Marbek)
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel, MLI Farmers Market

CFSfacts -- where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf
Newest research blog: http://cfs-facts.blogspot.com/

Gillian Murray wrote:
OK, maybe this is a dumb question......but why go through an agency?? My
'housekeepers" have been local women, and do the things I ask them.


I've tried independents and it quickly becomes obvious why they're not
working for the agencies: the ones who show up reliably don't clean and
the ones who clean are flaky about showing up. I had one good cleaner,
but if I didn't call her on Monday night to remind her "tomorrow is
Tuesday", she forgot to show up. Not just once in a while, every week.
She'd leave, I'd say "see you next Tuesday" to make it clear I
expected her, and she wouldn't show.

In no business I'd ever worked in would the employer tolerate having to
remind the employee to come to work for her regularly scheduled shift.

I was working evenings at the time, and setting the alarm to interrupt
me to call her in the window between "not home yet" and "too late" was
too disruptive to getting my work done. Especially when I'd get a busy
signal and had to take 30-45 minutes away from a transcript that I had
to return by 9:30 to keep hitting re-dial. She was good, but she wasn't
worth upsetting my client by missing my deadline because I was trying to
get through to remind her to come to work.

Unfortunately, most of the people I know here don't use cleaners, and
the few who do sighed "if you find a good one, let me know", so I
haven't been able to get a referral (but if I find a jewel, I can
probably get her full-time employment with all the people who have said
they'd give their eyeteeth for someone who actually cleans).

--
Karen C - California
Editor/Proofreader www.IntlProofingConsortium.com

"On his tombstone, Benjamin Franklin wanted it said not that he had been
rich
but rather that he had been useful."

Finished 10/7/08 - Sun Fun (Dimensions)

WIP: Nativity from "Countdown to Christmas" book, Oriental Kimono
(Janlynn),
MLI The Teacher (gift to the library), Bethany Angel (Marbek)
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel, MLI Farmers Market

CFSfacts -- where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf
Newest research blog: http://cfs-facts.blogspot.com/

Lucille wrote:
Perhaps if you kept it up and did a little each day, they might come in and
do the harder stuff for you happily.




The first few years, the house was basically spotless except for putting
the Tupperware/pots away (I'd pass out if I bent over to put them in the
cupboard) and the heavy cleaning that I can't do.

They'd come in and tell me "I'm not allowed to do this/that/the other
thing" (i.e., the heavy cleaning) and spend the four hours re-doing the
dusting and wiping that I'd already done while leaving undone the things
I needed help with because the agency won't allow them to do it.

Then I had one whose primary contribution to "cleaning" was to box up
everything and put it in front of doors and drawers to ensure that I
couldn't put anything away easily, and that's when it went to heck in a
handbasket. Nothing is in front of the cupboard it belongs in, so it's
like one of those puzzles with 15 tiles in a 16-square frame, I have to
move the 50-pound box of canned goods to open the cupboard where the
pots belong, and then have to move the box of baking pans to get to the
cupboard where the canned goods belong, a logistical nightmare.

DBF was "supposed" to at least put each of the boxes in front of the
cupboards they belong in so that I only had to move one box a few feet
instead of rearranging the whole kitchen before I could put anything
away, but then he got off on the kick of sorting
soups/veggies/fruit/tuna/pasta into separate boxes (unnecessary because
they all go in the same cupboard) and never actually finished moving
what I wanted moved ... and now I have 5 partial boxes of food
cluttering up the kitchen instead of one full box.


--
Karen C - California
Editor/Proofreader www.IntlProofingConsortium.com

"On his tombstone, Benjamin Franklin wanted it said not that he had been
rich
but rather that he had been useful."

Finished 10/7/08 - Sun Fun (Dimensions)

WIP: Nativity from "Countdown to Christmas" book, Oriental Kimono
(Janlynn),
MLI The Teacher (gift to the library), Bethany Angel (Marbek)
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel, MLI Farmers Market

CFSfacts -- where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf
Newest research blog: http://cfs-facts.blogspot.com/

"Karen C in California" wrote in message
...
Lucille wrote:
Perhaps if you kept it up and did a little each day, they might come in
and do the harder stuff for you happily.




The first few years, the house was basically spotless except for putting
the Tupperware/pots away (I'd pass out if I bent over to put them in the
cupboard) and the heavy cleaning that I can't do.


You find an appropriate excuse for everything don't you. You don't have to
bend over from the waist and faint, you can bend from the knees and keep
your head up and your back straight. Or even better, put the things you
use all the time in the upper cabinets and save the lower ones for the
rarely used objects like cupcake pans or the cleaning supplies that are
needed by the housekeeper you hire.

They'd come in and tell me "I'm not allowed to do this/that/the other
thing" (i.e., the heavy cleaning) and spend the four hours re-doing the
dusting and wiping that I'd already done while leaving undone the things I
needed help with because the agency won't allow them to do it.

You could better spend your time sorting and placing things where you want
them and let them do the dusting. I can reach the top of the refrigerator
to dust it and I'm 4'11" tall so I suppose someone as tall as you wouldn't,
shouldn't have a problem doing that odd job if they refuse, which I doubt
they really do.

Then I had one whose primary contribution to "cleaning" was to box up
everything and put it in front of doors and drawers to ensure that I
couldn't put anything away easily, and that's when it went to heck in a
handbasket. Nothing is in front of the cupboard it belongs in, so it's
like one of those puzzles with 15 tiles in a 16-square frame, I have to
move the 50-pound box of canned goods to open the cupboard where the pots
belong, and then have to move the box of baking pans to get to the
cupboard where the canned goods belong, a logistical nightmare.


If you would just put a few cans/boxes/baking pans etc. in the cupboard when
you use them, or immediately after you take a rest to recuperate from the
trip to the market, you would never accumulate such a load that it takes
that kind of time and effort.

For someone who claims to be able to organize her time enough to keep up a
thriving business, you sure don't seem able to do that in your home. Or is
it that you just don't like to do that so you find an excuse not to.
Something like my not ironing because I didn't want to, but my ironing will
get done and done well and only I see the neatly folded pile of stuff
waiting for the ironing board because it's hidden away from company.


DBF was "supposed" to at least put each of the boxes in front of the
cupboards they belong in so that I only had to move one box a few feet
instead of rearranging the whole kitchen before I could put anything away,
but then he got off on the kick of sorting soups/veggies/fruit/tuna/pasta
into separate boxes (unnecessary because they all go in the same cupboard)
and never actually finished moving what I wanted moved ... and now I have
5 partial boxes of food cluttering up the kitchen instead of one full box.


More excuses not to do something. Poor you, no one, even DBF, will listen
to you.






--
Karen C - California
Editor/Proofreader www.IntlProofingConsortium.com

"On his tombstone, Benjamin Franklin wanted it said not that he had been
rich
but rather that he had been useful."

Finished 10/7/08 - Sun Fun (Dimensions)

WIP: Nativity from "Countdown to Christmas" book, Oriental Kimono
(Janlynn),
MLI The Teacher (gift to the library), Bethany Angel (Marbek)
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel, MLI Farmers Market

CFSfacts -- where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf
Newest research blog: http://cfs-facts.blogspot.com/

Dawne Peterson wrote:

Another woman who attended law school in less enlightened times was me. The
Dean told me at the admission interview that women had no place in law
school. I proved him wrong.


Attagirl.

Thinking about it in those quiet days after my grandfather died, I
realized that, as they say in the political arena, I "no longer had the
fire in the belly". If I had, I would have toughed it out the rest of
the way, but working in the law office I had realized, even on the day
with the class I enjoyed, I was having more fun between 9 and 5 than
between 5 and 9. I could end the daily torture sessions AND save a
boatload of money, and still do what I wanted to do for a career with
minor modifications -- what's not to love?

And if I changed my mind, I could always go back and pick up where I
left off.

--
Karen C - California
Editor/Proofreader www.IntlProofingConsortium.com

"On his tombstone, Benjamin Franklin wanted it said not that he had been
rich
but rather that he had been useful."

Finished 10/7/08 - Sun Fun (Dimensions)

WIP: Nativity from "Countdown to Christmas" book, Oriental Kimono
(Janlynn),
MLI The Teacher (gift to the library), Bethany Angel (Marbek)
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel, MLI Farmers Market

CFSfacts -- where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf
Newest research blog: http://cfs-facts.blogspot.com/

Dawne Peterson wrote:

The few women in my school who
chose to put down and belittle other women and act like one of the boys were
much more popular with the faculty, including the Dean.



No, the faculty who didn't like women, didn't like women. Didn't matter
if we were girly, assertive or gay, we weren't men and had no business
in their school. This was a religious school, so they had the Pope
standing behind their pronouncements that "woman's place is in the home,
not the work world."

All the women I hung out with had been out in the work world already, so
were used to acting like men in order to be taken seriously, and could
see that the more traditional women were treated no differently by those
certain faculty than we feminists were. The key word was "women".


--
Karen C - California
Editor/Proofreader www.IntlProofingConsortium.com

"On his tombstone, Benjamin Franklin wanted it said not that he had been
rich
but rather that he had been useful."

Finished 10/7/08 - Sun Fun (Dimensions)

WIP: Nativity from "Countdown to Christmas" book, Oriental Kimono
(Janlynn),
MLI The Teacher (gift to the library), Bethany Angel (Marbek)
Retrieved from UFO pile: Marbek's Snow Angel, MLI Farmers Market

CFSfacts -- where we give you the facts and dispel the myths
Myths, with research cites: http://www.aacfs.org/images/pdfs/myths.pdf
Newest research blog: http://cfs-facts.blogspot.com/