OT bed sharing and tiredness

Yes, he did better than you poor mom- quite a bit better. The docs gave him
6 months to live.... back in 1982. Today he's a feisty 84 y.o. who just got
back from a 4 week vacation in South Africa with my mom. They are tough old
birds and I'm headed in the same direction as I get older! BTW- they will
have their 60th wedding anniversary in two weeks.

Leslie, Missy & The Furbabies in MO.

"Taria" wrote in message
news:SwD3j.58492$9h.15475@trnddc07...
Mom was seeing a dr. for her bad back. She was in water therapy and
on meds. She was overweight too. She tended to be a bit of a hypochondriac
so I think the dr. thought her pain was in her head and
maybe exasperated by the weight. The tumor was secondary. They
never did figure out if her cancer started in her ovaries or pancreas.
Probably pancreatic but oncologist never would commit to either. She
was gone pretty quick.
Hope your dad did better. Cancer sucks.
Taria


Leslie & The Furbabies in MO. wrote:

Gosh, Taria, that's how my dad discovered his bone cancer in his hip-
except for his was an office chair problem. He swapped chairs all around
the business office and couldn't find one that was comfy. Then he went
to the doctor.....

Leslie, Missy & The Furbabies in MO.

"Taria" wrote in message
news:bfC3j.38127$ng.14143@trnddc08...

Gosh Anne, it sure doesn't seem like very long since you had your
surgery. I would suggest giving a little more time alone and then
give sharing a try again. A physical therapist might have some
suggestions for your particular needs. I wouldn't just go out and
spend a lot of money willy-nilly. My mom bought 2 beds before she
found out she had a big cancer tumor in her hip. No bed made was
going to make her comfortable. You might just need to heal a bit
more. Whatever you end up doing I hope you are getting some good
sleep soon.
TAria

That is a great story. Tough old bird genes are not a bad thing ; )
My dad just turned 83 last week. It is amazing to see someone grow old
and lead a fine life. Happy anniversary to your folks. 60 years is
amazing.
TAria

Leslie & The Furbabies in MO. wrote:
Yes, he did better than you poor mom- quite a bit better. The docs gave him
6 months to live.... back in 1982. Today he's a feisty 84 y.o. who just got
back from a 4 week vacation in South Africa with my mom. They are tough old
birds and I'm headed in the same direction as I get older! BTW- they will
have their 60th wedding anniversary in two weeks.

Leslie, Missy & The Furbabies in MO.

Debra wrote:
On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 20:24:13 -0600, "Michelle"
wrote:

Anne,
I have a Tempurpedic mattress,

Those mattresses are a love them or hate them kind of bed. I have
lain on a Temperpedic bed and instantly hated it. I felt the mattress
foam slowly and sneakily closing in around me, like it was gripping me
so I couldn't escape. I will lay on cold wet dirty concrete floor
before I ever lay on that brand of mattress again.
I tried one of those when we were mattress-shopping. I didn't like it;
felt a bit like laying on a bed of wet sand. I did some research before
we shopped; the consumer magazine (don't remember which one) said that
10 minutes or so on a mattress should tell you whether it's the one for
you; there tests showed that longer test periods didn't really make much
difference. I took my own pillow and tried out a bunch of them. The one
we liked best was definitely not one of the more expensive ones; it was
a conventional box spring mattress. We have been very satisfied. We
bought from a local mattress company, where they assemble the mattresses
themselves. They told us if we weren't satisfied after a couple weeks,
they could adjust it -- add or remove padding as needed. The prices
compared favorably with the major brand names we looked at and we were
pleased with the service we got.

That being said, if a couple has very different mattress needs or
preferences, a Select Comfort Sleep Number bed might be appropriate. We
don't have one and have never tried one, but have heard a lot of good
things about it. http://www.selectcomfort.com/

Julia in MN


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On Nov 28, 3:28 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:
I could really use the wisdom of some of you ladies who've been married
an awful lot longer than me.

After I had the hip surgery, DH moved a mattress into our room for him
to sleep on, he finally came back into our bed last night. I didn't feel
like I slept any worse, or woke up any earlier, but it was obvious in
the morning that I hadn't had a refreshing nights sleep. Reflecting more
on this, I realise that though I've been tired since the surgery, it's
only been hitting me when you'd expect, after I've been active, compared
to before the surgery, I was just tired!

We've been married 5 years, we have a queen size bed that we bought
then. The mattress is pocked sprung and it's fairly firm, with a soft
top layer, so it gives but doesn't flop! One thing I've heard that can
be a problem is when one of you is a lot bigger than the other, I don't
have an accurate weight for either of us, but he must be about 30%
heavier than me.

If we thought it would help, we'd definitely get a new bed, but we've no
idea what to choose, what kind of mattresses might give us the same soft
but supportive feel, but also minimise his movements affecting me -
this is my best guess at what's happening, that his movements mean I
don't get into the deep restful phases of sleep, or don't stay in them
as long.

We would have room for a bigger bed in our room, if we thought that
would help. I don't know if what I know as an Austrian twin is available
in the US, they are two single mattresses on a double bed frame.

I would welcome any ideas.

cheers
Anne

Hello, Anne,

I'm glad you are back in bed together! My 13 cents worth on a new
mattress is to buy one! I bought a new mattress not too too long
ago. I have a nice double-high waterbed frame so I only had to buy
the mattress. The research I did said to buy one with the highest
spring count you can get - until the price starts to excalate out of
range, then go back to the next lower and be sure to get a pillow-top
mattress.. This configuration gives tons of support and softness
because of the pillow top. I added a memory foam topper (about 2 1/2"
thick (heavy!) and then a pillow-top mattress pad. It's great! You
never feel any movement from your partner and it supports you even if
partner is heavier, etc. I got my mattress from the manufacturer and
it cost $150.00. I do use a knee pillow which has been super...cannot
sleep without it anymore - it goes in my suitcase before extra clothes
when I travel! It takes about a week to get used to, but has helped
with my hips like you can't believe! I also have a semi-circle
"squishee" which is wonderful to cradle your neck or just hug. That
goes too because flying (I go overseas to visit my grandbaby on 21
hour flights) and that squishee is an absolute life-saver. It also
keeps you from ending up with your head on a stranger's shoulder!
Acts like a newborn's head retainer.

Good luck! There's my 13 cents worth of info!
Kay

Our bedrooms have the Select Comfort mattresses. You can make them (either
side) as soft or board rigid as you like. Julia mentioned them.
http://www.selectcomfort.com. Those wonderful people just warmed our
hearts after Hurricane Katrina. They sent us a letter offering to replace
our mattresses if they'd been damaged by the storm.. They even volunteered
their own records of size and purchase since they realized we might not have
any paperwork. We wished they'd offered to replace the ceilings or roof
but knew their concern was genuine and very, very kind.
Of course, not even Select Comfort can do one thing about snoring.
Moving the offender next door might help. Polly


"Julia in MN" wrote in message
...
Debra wrote:
On Wed, 28 Nov 2007 20:24:13 -0600, "Michelle"
wrote:

Anne,
I have a Tempurpedic mattress,

Those mattresses are a love them or hate them kind of bed. I have
lain on a Temperpedic bed and instantly hated it. I felt the mattress
foam slowly and sneakily closing in around me, like it was gripping me
so I couldn't escape. I will lay on cold wet dirty concrete floor
before I ever lay on that brand of mattress again.
I tried one of those when we were mattress-shopping. I didn't like it;
felt a bit like laying on a bed of wet sand. I did some research before we
shopped; the consumer magazine (don't remember which one) said that 10
minutes or so on a mattress should tell you whether it's the one for you;
there tests showed that longer test periods didn't really make much
difference. I took my own pillow and tried out a bunch of them. The one we
liked best was definitely not one of the more expensive ones; it was a
conventional box spring mattress. We have been very satisfied. We bought
from a local mattress company, where they assemble the mattresses
themselves. They told us if we weren't satisfied after a couple weeks,
they could adjust it -- add or remove padding as needed. The prices
compared favorably with the major brand names we looked at and we were
pleased with the service we got.

That being said, if a couple has very different mattress needs or
preferences, a Select Comfort Sleep Number bed might be appropriate. We
don't have one and have never tried one, but have heard a lot of good
things about it. Julia in MN

A friend of mine bought a Temporpedic mattress pad (I think that's what it
was) & she hated it as well. She didn't like the foam & it made her REALLY
hot. She was glad they just tried the pad before jumping into the mattress.

I know there is a store in Berkeley that sells a mattress that is supposed
to be something special. www.sleepworks.com It is also made from latex & I
don't know how wide their distribution is, but it may be worth checking out.

Pauline
Northern California

"Debra" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 29 Nov 2007 20:25:13 GMT, "Michelle" wrote:

Oh my goodness! That was quite a reaction to the mattress. I will say
that
it took me a couple of weeks to get used to the feel of the mattress but
now
I can't sleep really well on anything else.
Michelle

I was shocked by the strength of my own reaction, but it did make me
spring up off the bed. Even if I could get past that feeling of
entrapment I have one other thing that would keep me from buying a bed
like that. Night sweats from menopause. I just can't imagine how
much hotter I would be if I was recessed slightly into that warm
feeling foam while my body thermostat was undergoing one of it's
temporary short circuits.
Debra in VA
See my quilts at
http://community.webshots.com/user/debplayshere

Pauline I lost the original post before I got a chance to reply so I'm
piggybacking.

DH and I bought a new mattress last year that has memory foam in the top
cushion part. I HATE it. It is HOT! Hot! hot! The mattress sags cause the
memory foam retains the position you sleep in and over time it just doesn't
bounce back at all. Now that being said, there may be more expensive better
lasting mattresses than this one that has the memory foam, although it was
expensive enough.

A couple of years ago my best friend bought a sleep number bed and swears by
it. She says that she has trouble sleeping on anything else now. She also
has sleep apnea and uses a CPAP. She said it has even helped somewhat with
that. DH's sister also has a sleep number bed and said that she won't buy
any other kind of mattress now.

So after all the problems DH and I have had with ours, I finally got him to
stop by the SN store today and try them out. He really likes it and we will
problaby get one after the first of the year. Gotta get past the holidays
first. As much as he travels and stays in hotels, a good mattress at home is
pretty important to him. I was concerned about the memory foam cushion in
the one we were interested in because it made me hot. The salesman showed me
this wonderful mattress pad that is designed to level out the heat
distribution and cut down on it to make the mattress cooler. So we'll
probably invest in one of those also when we purchase.

As far as being able to sleep in the same bed with DH. Well I have trouble
sleeping when he's not there. When he's gone he gets to sprawl so when he
comes home he still wants to sprawl. I usually get squeezed into a corner. I
miss that when he's gone but more so, I miss not being able to reach out and
feel him there sleeping or him him snoring. We've been married almost 16
years and I have no desire for to sleep in another room or bed even though
his snoring keeps me awake at times.

Hugs,
Mika

"Pauline" wrote in message
t...
A friend of mine bought a Temporpedic mattress pad (I think that's what it
was) & she hated it as well. She didn't like the foam & it made her REALLY
hot. She was glad they just tried the pad before jumping into the
mattress.

I know there is a store in Berkeley that sells a mattress that is supposed
to be something special. www.sleepworks.com It is also made from latex &
I don't know how wide their distribution is, but it may be worth checking
out.

Pauline
Northern California

"Debra" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 29 Nov 2007 20:25:13 GMT, "Michelle" wrote:

Oh my goodness! That was quite a reaction to the mattress. I will say
that
it took me a couple of weeks to get used to the feel of the mattress but
now
I can't sleep really well on anything else.
Michelle

I was shocked by the strength of my own reaction, but it did make me
spring up off the bed. Even if I could get past that feeling of
entrapment I have one other thing that would keep me from buying a bed
like that. Night sweats from menopause. I just can't imagine how
much hotter I would be if I was recessed slightly into that warm
feeling foam while my body thermostat was undergoing one of it's
temporary short circuits.
Debra in VA
See my quilts at
http://community.webshots.com/user/debplayshere

DH & I have had a sleep number bed for over a year and a half... LOVE it!
I've recently had a sciatic problem and had to "up" the number from my cushy
35 to a firmer number (i.e. 65) and it really helped! Wasn't sure when we
got it that I'd like it, but after a couple of weeks I wouldn't have traded
it in for anything. I can't even feel him move in the bed, or get out of
bed. BTW, our QI loves the softer numbers BG
--
ME-Judy
ajhusman at blazenetme dot net


Pauline I lost the original post before I got a chance to reply so I'm
piggybacking.


A couple of years ago my best friend bought a sleep number bed and swears
by it. She says that she has trouble sleeping on anything else now. She
also has sleep apnea and uses a CPAP. She said it has even helped somewhat
with that. DH's sister also has a sleep number bed and said that she won't
buy any other kind of mattress now.