OT OT Hair removal 101 spew warning and offense warning!

WE all need a laugh, everyone have a good weekend, stay safe, and if
your staying home, have fun sewing or cooking out, or whatever you have
planned.
Karen
aka unclbennie
aka queen of the sky
Hair removal 101 ...God love the woman who shared this,,,,,,,

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,
painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the
wax.

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix
dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring
painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the
wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise;
the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of
hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they
get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever
else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I
mean I'm no girly, girl but I am mechanically inclined enough that I
can
figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair
dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh how this
phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin
around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it
wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am
She-ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin
extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I
sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using
the same procedure I apply the was strip across the right side of
bikini line,covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to
the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply
and brace myself.
RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!...OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of
the strip. S&%T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly
and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to
see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused
me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is
my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair.

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see
the hair..The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching
wax.
S&%T I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which
is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG
mistake...................remember my foot is still propped up on the
toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
DAMN!!!!!!!!
I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Butt??
Sealed shut.

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may
pop off" Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I
can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and
the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than then that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now,
the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together
is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.
In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!! God bless the man that
convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my
friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to
get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and
who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause.
She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from
me.
She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom "Are we
talking cheeks or hole or what?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the
rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While
we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with
a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies, covered
in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then
dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working,
dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My
friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I
really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my
friend, but I really don't care. "ITWORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty
congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove
the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and
despair..................................

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF
IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......

OMG!!! Hilarious!!!

Leslie (covering my mouth to hold in the gugffaws so I won't wake the
hubby and The HairyButt Gang) & The Furbabies in MO.

ROFLMAO (literally)
Thanks - I needed that!!!
--

Cheryl ^;;^ ^;;^ ^;;^
Enness Boofhead Donut
http://community.webshots.com/user/witchofthewest

(Don'y forget to replace the DOT)


"unclbennie" wrote in message
oups.com...
WE all need a laugh, everyone have a good weekend, stay safe, and if
your staying home, have fun sewing or cooking out, or whatever you have
planned.
Karen
aka unclbennie
aka queen of the sky
Hair removal 101 ...God love the woman who shared this,,,,,,,

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,
painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the
wax.

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix
dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring
painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the
wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise;
the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of
hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they
get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever
else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I
mean I'm no girly, girl but I am mechanically inclined enough that I
can
figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair
dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh how this
phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin
around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it
wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am
She-ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin
extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I
sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using
the same procedure I apply the was strip across the right side of
bikini line,covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to
the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply
and brace myself.
RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!...OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of
the strip. S&%T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly
and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to
see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused
me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is
my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair.

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see
the hair..The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching
wax.
S&%T I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which
is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG
mistake...................remember my foot is still propped up on the
toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
DAMN!!!!!!!!
I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Butt??
Sealed shut.

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may
pop off" Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I
can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and
the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than then that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now,
the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together
is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.
In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!! God bless the man that
convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my
friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to
get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and
who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause.
She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from
me.
She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom "Are we
talking cheeks or hole or what?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the
rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While
we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with
a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies, covered
in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then
dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working,
dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My
friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I
really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my
friend, but I really don't care. "ITWORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty
congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove
the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and
despair..................................

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF
IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......

ROFLMAO !!!!! I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life!!
Toni

*wiping eyes*
Oh my... my sides hurt now... thank you for that BIG laugh this morning...
*snerk*
--
Debi

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?


"unclbennie" wrote in message
oups.com...
WE all need a laugh, everyone have a good weekend, stay safe, and if
your staying home, have fun sewing or cooking out, or whatever you have
planned.
Karen
aka unclbennie
aka queen of the sky
Hair removal 101 ...God love the woman who shared this,,,,,,,

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,
painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the
wax.

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix
dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring
painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the
wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise;
the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of
hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they
get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever
else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I
mean I'm no girly, girl but I am mechanically inclined enough that I
can
figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair
dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh how this
phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin
around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it
wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am
She-ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin
extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I
sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using
the same procedure I apply the was strip across the right side of
bikini line,covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to
the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply
and brace myself.
RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!...OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of
the strip. S&%T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly
and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to
see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused
me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is
my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair.

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see
the hair..The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching
wax.
S&%T I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which
is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG
mistake...................remember my foot is still propped up on the
toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
DAMN!!!!!!!!
I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Butt??
Sealed shut.

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may
pop off" Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I
can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and
the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than then that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now,
the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together
is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.
In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!! God bless the man that
convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my
friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to
get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and
who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause.
She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from
me.
She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom "Are we
talking cheeks or hole or what?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the
rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While
we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with
a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies, covered
in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then
dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working,
dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My
friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I
really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my
friend, but I really don't care. "ITWORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty
congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove
the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and
despair..................................

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF
IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......

O Dear, I though I was going to have a spasm attack!!
Ian is fast asleep "watching" TV so I had no one to share it with. Mind you
I don't think he would quite understand the humour or the agony.
Thank you for making my day.
Cheers,
Ruth

Oh dear Lord...!

Suzie B
--
"From the internet connection under the pier"
Southend, UK
--
Please remove NOSPAM when emailing me!
http://community.webshots.com/user/suziekga

Ok.
This room just rocked with my laughing, brought the dog running in to
see what was going on, followed shortly by DH (you're right, he just
doesn't understand!), and DMIL yelling from upstairs to find out if I
am okay.

Oh, heavens, I sooooo needed this!
thanks
Ginger in CA

That was good.

Dh even had tears in his eyes

Dee in Oz

:::shudder:::

I swear to you all...I've done most of this! I can't believe I'm admitting
this, but a while back, I thought I'd clean up for hubby one time..thinking
he'd like it. I guess I didn't pay close enough attention to the part that
said trim the hair to 1/4 inch first. I put the wax on...LAWDY LAWDY, it
took me forever and a hot hairdryer to get all that wax out of my hair, and
it hurt like nothing I had ever felt before. Childbirth was painless
compared to trying to rip pubic hair out of my coochie.

ROFL...What was I thinking????

"unclbennie" wrote in message
oups.com...
WE all need a laugh, everyone have a good weekend, stay safe, and if
your staying home, have fun sewing or cooking out, or whatever you have
planned.
Karen
aka unclbennie
aka queen of the sky
Hair removal 101 ...God love the woman who shared this,,,,,,,

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,
painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the
wax.

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix
dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring
painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the
wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise;
the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of
hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they
get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever
else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I
mean I'm no girly, girl but I am mechanically inclined enough that I
can
figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair
dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh how this
phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin
around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it
wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am
She-ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin
extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I
sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using
the same procedure I apply the was strip across the right side of
bikini line,covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to
the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply
and brace myself.
RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!...OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of
the strip. S&%T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly
and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to
see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused
me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is
my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair.

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see
the hair..The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching
wax.
S&%T I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which
is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG
mistake...................remember my foot is still propped up on the
toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
DAMN!!!!!!!!
I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Butt??
Sealed shut.

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may
pop off" Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I
can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and
the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than then that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now,
the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together
is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.
In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!! God bless the man that
convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my
friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to
get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and
who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause.
She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from
me.
She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom "Are we
talking cheeks or hole or what?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the
rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While
we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with
a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies, covered
in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then
dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working,
dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My
friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I
really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my
friend, but I really don't care. "ITWORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty
congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove
the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and
despair..................................

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF
IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......