Abbot & Costello YOU NEED A COMPUTER? (fwd)

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were ! alive today, their infamous sketch,
"Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
CO`: No, the name's Lou.
AB`: Your computer?
CO`: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
AB`: Mac?
CO`: I told you, my name's Lou.
AB`: What about Windows?
CO`: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
AB`: Do you want a computer with Windows?
CO`: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
AB`: Wallpaper.
CO`: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
AB`: Software for Windows?
CO`: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals track expenses and run my business. W! hat do you have?
AB`: Office.
CO`: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
AB`: I just did.
CO`: You just did what?
AB`: Recommend something.
CO`: You recommended something?
AB`: Yes.
CO`: For my office?
AB`: Yes.
CO`: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
AB`: Office.
CO`: Yes, for my office!
AB`: I recommend Office with Windows.
CO`: I already have a! n office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
AB`: Word.
CO`O: What word?
AB`: Word in Office.
CO`: The only word in office is office.
AB`: The Word in Office for Windows.
CO`: Which word in office for windows?
AB`: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
CO`: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't star! t with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
can track my money with?
AB`: Money.
CO`: That's right. What do you have?
AB`: Money.
CO`: I need money to track my money?
AB`: It comes bundled with your computer.
CO`: What's bundled with my computer?
AB`: Money.
CO`: Money comes with my computer?
AB`: Yes. No extra charge.
CO`: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

AB`: One copy.
CO`: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
AB`: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
CO`: They can give you a license to copy money?
AB`: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
AB`: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
CO`: How do I turn my computer off?
AB`: Click on "START

I think I had this conversation with my parents. I've been heavily
involved with computers and networks since the mid-70s. They never did
figure out what I did.
LOL
Shana

LOL This is cute... my son will love this! Abbott and Costello are his
favourite comedians from years ago... he falls on the floor laughing while
watching them. ;o)

Gemini

"Mirjam Bruck-Cohen" wrote in message
news:Pine.PCW.3.96.1060226070206.16630H-100000@bruck...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were ! alive today, their infamous sketch,
"Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
CO`: No, the name's Lou.
AB`: Your computer?
CO`: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
AB`: Mac?
CO`: I told you, my name's Lou.
AB`: What about Windows?
CO`: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
AB`: Do you want a computer with Windows?
CO`: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
AB`: Wallpaper.
CO`: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
AB`: Software for Windows?
CO`: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals track expenses and run my business. W! hat do you have?
AB`: Office.
CO`: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
AB`: I just did.
CO`: You just did what?
AB`: Recommend something.
CO`: You recommended something?
AB`: Yes.
CO`: For my office?
AB`: Yes.
CO`: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
AB`: Office.
CO`: Yes, for my office!
AB`: I recommend Office with Windows.
CO`: I already have a! n office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
AB`: Word.
CO`O: What word?
AB`: Word in Office.
CO`: The only word in office is office.
AB`: The Word in Office for Windows.
CO`: Which word in office for windows?
AB`: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
CO`: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't star! t with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
can track my money with?
AB`: Money.
CO`: That's right. What do you have?
AB`: Money.
CO`: I need money to track my money?
AB`: It comes bundled with your computer.
CO`: What's bundled with my computer?
AB`: Money.
CO`: Money comes with my computer?
AB`: Yes. No extra charge.
CO`: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

AB`: One copy.
CO`: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
AB`: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
CO`: They can give you a license to copy money?
AB`: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
AB`: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
CO`: How do I turn my computer off?
AB`: Click on "START

Mirjam, we did this as a skit at one of our meetings. What a hoot! Thanks
for bringing back a great memory.

--
In Star love and friendship,
Norma Woods
D.D.G.M.
District 21
"Mirjam Bruck-Cohen" wrote in message
news:Pine.PCW.3.96.1060226070206.16630H-100000@bruck...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were ! alive today, their infamous sketch,
"Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
CO`: No, the name's Lou.
AB`: Your computer?
CO`: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
AB`: Mac?
CO`: I told you, my name's Lou.
AB`: What about Windows?
CO`: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
AB`: Do you want a computer with Windows?
CO`: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
AB`: Wallpaper.
CO`: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
AB`: Software for Windows?
CO`: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals track expenses and run my business. W! hat do you have?
AB`: Office.
CO`: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
AB`: I just did.
CO`: You just did what?
AB`: Recommend something.
CO`: You recommended something?
AB`: Yes.
CO`: For my office?
AB`: Yes.
CO`: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
AB`: Office.
CO`: Yes, for my office!
AB`: I recommend Office with Windows.
CO`: I already have a! n office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
AB`: Word.
CO`O: What word?
AB`: Word in Office.
CO`: The only word in office is office.
AB`: The Word in Office for Windows.
CO`: Which word in office for windows?
AB`: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
CO`: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't star! t with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
can track my money with?
AB`: Money.
CO`: That's right. What do you have?
AB`: Money.
CO`: I need money to track my money?
AB`: It comes bundled with your computer.
CO`: What's bundled with my computer?
AB`: Money.
CO`: Money comes with my computer?
AB`: Yes. No extra charge.
CO`: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

AB`: One copy.
CO`: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
AB`: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
CO`: They can give you a license to copy money?
AB`: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
AB`: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
CO`: How do I turn my computer off?
AB`: Click on "START