OT sad... got the coroner's report for my brother

So sorry for the reopening of those wounds. My heart goes out to you
too. Please take care of yourself. Let time help you heal. It will not
take away all of the pain, but it will, hopefully, ease it enough to be
bearable.
Prayers going your way.
Marlys in Indiana

"Marijke" wrote in message
.. .
Just when you think you're starting to feel better, you get punched in
the stomach.

My 35-yr-old brother died in February. For various reasons, I'm
responsible for everything from arranging his funeral to tying up loose
ends. He left behind two boys (now 12 and 7).

Anyway, I very unexpectedly received the coroner's report into my
brother's suicide. I knew that the coroner was taking a close look at it
becuase he wanted to see where the system failed JP - and it did
terribly, from the time he was a child. In fact, I'm the one who spoke
to the coroner about it, and gave him more information so that he could
complete his investigation. He sound like a very nice man, very
interested in trying to put a stop to this horrible tragedy that is
happening among young men in North America.

The shock though, was that I wasn't expecting the report and I didn't
realise what I was opening until I began to read it. By then it was too
late, and I couldn't make myself stop.

The funny part is that they included a sheet of paper that said they
woudl be sending and English translation shortly (I'm in Quebec so all
official papers come in French first). No thank you. I don't need a
second shock. The first one was clear and strong enough.

I knew how he died, but to see it in black and white - that's so harsh.
I knew the system failed him, but to see it in black and white - it hurts.

I was feeling so much better about things. A bit down now and then, but
now I feel as if it happened yesterday. It's all so raw again.

I know the report had to be done. I am glad I have it - but I just
didn't expect it. I wasn't ready for it.

Sad,
Marijke
in Montreal

Marijke, I'm so sorry. I've been through this myself recently and in the
distant past. It never really stops hurting, but you learn to endure it.
Your brother is at peace now, and I'm sure he didn't intend for you to be so
devastated. Prayers, warm thoughts and gentle hugs on the way from Tucson.

--
Carolyn in The Old Pueblo

If it ain't broke, you aren't trying. --Red Green
If it ain't broke, it ain't mine. --Carolyn McCarty

If at first you don't succeed, switch to power tools --Red Green
If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer. --Carolyn McCarty

"Marijke" wrote in message
.. .
Just when you think you're starting to feel better, you get punched in the
stomach.

My 35-yr-old brother died in February.

gently snipped

I'm so sorry, Marijke.

Marijke, my dad also committed suicide and I, too, read the
coroner's report. This happened in 1974 and having read it
can still bother me at times.

Take care of yourself and seek help if having read the report
starts to bother you.

Sorry for your lose,

Donna
in WA

{{{{{Hugs and rainbows for you.}}}}}
I haven't been able to watch the video of my sister's funeral service yet
and she died nearly 10 years ago so I can only imagine how you are feeling.
But we are all here for you.
Heather in West Oz


"Marijke" wrote in message
.. .
Just when you think you're starting to feel better, you get punched in the
stomach.

My 35-yr-old brother died in February. For various reasons, I'm
responsible for everything from arranging his funeral to tying up loose
ends. He left behind two boys (now 12 and 7).

Anyway, I very unexpectedly received the coroner's report into my
brother's suicide. I knew that the coroner was taking a close look at it
becuase he wanted to see where the system failed JP - and it did terribly,
from the time he was a child. In fact, I'm the one who spoke to the
coroner about it, and gave him more information so that he could complete
his investigation. He sound like a very nice man, very interested in
trying to put a stop to this horrible tragedy that is happening among
young men in North America.

The shock though, was that I wasn't expecting the report and I didn't
realise what I was opening until I began to read it. By then it was too
late, and I couldn't make myself stop.

The funny part is that they included a sheet of paper that said they woudl
be sending and English translation shortly (I'm in Quebec so all official
papers come in French first). No thank you. I don't need a second shock.
The first one was clear and strong enough.

I knew how he died, but to see it in black and white - that's so harsh. I
knew the system failed him, but to see it in black and white - it hurts.

I was feeling so much better about things. A bit down now and then, but
now I feel as if it happened yesterday. It's all so raw again.

I know the report had to be done. I am glad I have it - but I just didn't
expect it. I wasn't ready for it.

Sad,
Marijke
in Montreal