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  #21  
Old March 21st 04, 01:09 AM
Michelle Anglin
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She sends a joke. Usually it is something old and tired. Only rarely
is it something I haven't seen before or think is funny. Either way,
there's never a personal note. I have joke books if I want jokes. I
send a note telling some friendly news I think might be of interest and
saying that I don't care for jokes much. The jokes continue. I ask
questions of a friendly nature, try to start a conversation. No
personal answers. I hint a little more and finally come out and say not
to send me jokes. That's when the inspirational messages, the political
petitions and urban legends begin.

That is the truth if I ever heard it Julia! lol You've got down to a "T" and
in just the right order.
Shelly


Ads
  #22  
Old March 21st 04, 05:57 AM
melinda
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nzl* wrote:
if i think of anything else that might be useful, i'll let ya know.
gawd, i nearly went mad the week i got it.
oh wait, i was mad already, ok, just got worse, swore a whole lot more.


BTW, everyone, we use a Linux system....

--
Melinda
http://cust.idl.com.au/athol
  #23  
Old March 21st 04, 06:17 AM
Judy Grevenites
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Once knew a union rep who had to represent a woman who dropped her purse
on the workroom floor. (Chicago Post Office). When the purse hit the
floor her gun went off, the supervisor peed his pants, somebody hit the
fire alarm, and the fire fighter and cops came running!

She was fired and sued to get her job back and that is where my friend
came into the story. Her defense was that "everybody has a gun"
He said that what really made her mad was that when the gun went off,
her purse caught on fire "and that was my favorite purse!" Eventually
they did get her reinstated but she went out on a disability claiming
that she had hurt her back when she fell off her rest bar when the gun
went off, Sometimes I miss the post office.

  #24  
Old March 21st 04, 12:53 PM
kate
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Julia Altshuler wrote:

I make a game of it. I give myself a point for each spam message I
delete without reading and subtract a point for each one I miss and open
before realizing it is spam.

Some are easy. If the subject line reads "perspective Carribean elegy
doughnut," and I've never heard of the sender, I know to delete that
right away. Likewise for "VI*agr!a" and "$$$loseweight now." Some are
harder. I might be tempted to open something that says "blast from the
past" sent by a name that looks familiar. It could be spam, but it
could be some old friend I haven't heard from in 20 years wondering if
I'm the person she remembers. So I open it and give myself a dope slap
if it there's an offer to enlarge my penis inside. I total up at the
end of the day. I always win. I get 15-30 spam messages a day and only
open one every now and then.

--Lia


Hehehe! I always think that if I used all those penis enlargement
offers, it would be the size of the tower of Big Ben by now, and I'd
need all the Viagra to keep it up! On the other hand, I'd have serious
difficulty reaching the sewing machine round it!

And being female, I'm not sure I need a thing that big...
--
Kate XXXXXX
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!


  #25  
Old March 21st 04, 02:20 PM
Roberta Zollner
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Julia, you have such a facility with the written word that you forget how
hard it is for many people to write. And actually to sort out and identify
their feelings enough to find words for them-well, they might be among the
large number who really don't want to dig too deeply into their murky
subconscious. Much easier to be superficial.

Before email, we had confirmation that our various relations and
acquaintances were still alive when they sent the annual holiday card. Now,
with the click of a button, they can "card" half the known universe in one
go, for almost no money!

What relationship do you really want with these people? Is their news of any
real interest? Would they pay attention if you told them you didn't want
jokes, etc., but only family news, before you gave them your address?
Roberta in D
" wrote in message
news:Qw%6c.47561$J05.369148@attbi_s01...
And this leads to an etiquette question I don't have a satisfactory
answer to.


I run into an old friend, someone I haven't seen in ages. Or maybe it
is a new friend. We exchange email addresses. I look forward to
coresponding a little news.


She sends a joke. Usually it is something old and tired. Only rarely
is it something I haven't seen before or think is funny. Either way,
there's never a personal note. I have joke books if I want jokes. I
send a note telling some friendly news I think might be of interest and
saying that I don't care for jokes much. The jokes continue. I ask
questions of a friendly nature, try to start a conversation. No
personal answers. I hint a little more and finally come out and say not
to send me jokes. That's when the inspirational messages, the political
petitions and urban legends begin.


Months can go by of being on this person's mailing list, and all I get
amounts to spam. Still, I'm reluctant to delete without reading when I
see the message line is from someone I know. I'm afraid of deleting it
the one time she sends something written especially for me.


Finally our old ISP gets bought out by a bigger company, and I get a new
email address as a result. I don't bother to update the friend with the
new address so I'm off the mailing list that way. Either that, or I say
bluntly that I don't want mail unless it is a personal note. Then I
never hear from them again.


Is there any way to predict who will write to me and who will put me on
a mailing list BEFORE I give out my address? Is there any effective way
to let someone know not to send junk? Can you squeeze personal message
water out of these otherwise friendly rocks? What does Miss Manners
have to say?


--Lia





  #26  
Old March 21st 04, 03:52 PM
Julia Altshuler
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Roberta Zollner wrote:
Julia, you have such a facility with the written word that you forget how
hard it is for many people to write. And actually to sort out and identify
their feelings enough to find words for them-well, they might be among the
large number who really don't want to dig too deeply into their murky
subconscious. Much easier to be superficial.

Before email, we had confirmation that our various relations and
acquaintances were still alive when they sent the annual holiday card. Now,
with the click of a button, they can "card" half the known universe in one
go, for almost no money!

What relationship do you really want with these people? Is their news of any
real interest? Would they pay attention if you told them you didn't want
jokes, etc., but only family news, before you gave them your address?



You ask some good questions.

My biggest disappointment with the personal mailing list phenomena comes
from people I adore talking to in person, people I'd like to know better
and think I have a personal relationship with. Then the moment the
communication turns to email, I find that they don't have any interest
in talking to me, only to broadcasting.


I wouldn't mind superficial notes that don't deal with the subconsious,
prefer them when I think about it. A note that said "My boss is driving
me nuts. Benjamin's voice is changing. Rebecca is playing fiddle in
the school concert. David's out of town at another conference. We had
to get a new transmission on the old Toyota" would be fine. That gives
me some idea of what's going on. I'd also like acknowledgement that my
messages were received and read: "That's a shame about your neighbor's
dog. I know what you mean about the time warp that surrounds computers.
I got a good laugh about the Lindbergh gossip too. Who would have
thought?"


That they're just not good at writing is one possibility though I know
that's not the case with my brother. It could be it with some others.


Ideally I'd like the give and take of friendship, the way one person
talks and the other listens, and then they trade places. Not every
topic will be of interest. I might bring up Toyota repair and find that
my friend has nothing to say on the subject, but that she has loads of
memories and thoughts about neighborhood etiquette as regards dogs.


I don't know if telling someone what sort of mail I want when I give out
the address would work. I suppose I could try it. I've been reluctant
to because there are people who write notes exactly the sort I want, old
and new friends I correspond with quite happily and with no complaints.
I wouldn't want to assume they'll put me on a mailing list without
first giving them a chance to prove otherwise.


--Lia

  #27  
Old March 21st 04, 04:53 PM
Mystified One
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but think of the people you'll impress with it!

Then again, I divorced one once....

"kate" wrote in message
...


Julia Altshuler wrote:

I make a game of it. I give myself a point for each spam message I
delete without reading and subtract a point for each one I miss and open
before realizing it is spam.

Some are easy. If the subject line reads "perspective Carribean elegy
doughnut," and I've never heard of the sender, I know to delete that
right away. Likewise for "VI*agr!a" and "$$$loseweight now." Some are
harder. I might be tempted to open something that says "blast from the
past" sent by a name that looks familiar. It could be spam, but it
could be some old friend I haven't heard from in 20 years wondering if
I'm the person she remembers. So I open it and give myself a dope slap
if it there's an offer to enlarge my penis inside. I total up at the
end of the day. I always win. I get 15-30 spam messages a day and only
open one every now and then.

--Lia


Hehehe! I always think that if I used all those penis enlargement
offers, it would be the size of the tower of Big Ben by now, and I'd
need all the Viagra to keep it up! On the other hand, I'd have serious
difficulty reaching the sewing machine round it!

And being female, I'm not sure I need a thing that big...
--
Kate XXXXXX
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!




  #28  
Old March 21st 04, 05:01 PM
Diana Curtis
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How about just plain looking at the person with sadness and reluctance
saying, I hesitate giving out my address anymore. It seems so many people
just want to send me stale jokes and old storys, and no one wants to just
talk. That way the new emailer on your list knows youre not interested in
that stuff.
You could do what I did. My niece, a young woman of above average
intelligence, started sending me all sorts of silly pass around emails and I
put up with it for a while, family, you know, until the day she sent me a
petition to stop the horrendous practice of bonsia kittys, where they
ostensibly grow kittens inside of glass bottles. I politely asked her to use
her common sensometer before sending me any more of this type email. Hmm...
I havent heard from her since. Do you think I offended her?
Diana ;-)

--
Queen of FAQs
Royal Peace Maker
http://photos.yahoo.com/lunamom44

"Julia Altshuler" wrote in message
news:y_h7c.53843$_w.852505@attbi_s53...
I don't know if telling someone what sort of mail I want when I give out
the address would work. I suppose I could try it. I've been reluctant
to because there are people who write notes exactly the sort I want, old
and new friends I correspond with quite happily and with no complaints.
I wouldn't want to assume they'll put me on a mailing list without
first giving them a chance to prove otherwise.


--Lia



  #29  
Old March 21st 04, 05:37 PM
Julia Altshuler
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Default

Diana Curtis wrote:
How about just plain looking at the person with sadness and reluctance
saying, I hesitate giving out my address anymore. It seems so many people
just want to send me stale jokes and old storys, and no one wants to just
talk. That way the new emailer on your list knows youre not interested in
that stuff.



I think I will try opening the conversation to what sorts of messages
I'd like to receive at the time of giving out my address.


My favorite story on this subject involves the urban legend of the
missing 10 year old girl. I used to be on the mailing list of a local
quilt shop owner. I liked getting news about classes and shows. One
day I got a forwarded message about a missing girl. There was a picture
of her. There was a phone number to call if I'd seen her, news about
how she'd been gone for 2 weeks, all the sort of detail you'd expect. I
was supposed to get the word out. It said something about how it would
only take a minute to send it to everyone I knew.


I hadn't heard a thing about it on the news. I typed a few key words
into google and got tons of hits telling me that none of it was true.
The phone number was disconnected. Law enforcement had never heard of
her. The picture could have been anyone. No one knew the names
mentioned in the message. They went on to point out the obvious:
Wasting people's time with girls who AREN'T missing takes resources away
from finding children who ARE. This one seemed more harmful than your
usual stale joke or urban legend.


I wrote a quick message pointing out that it took me only a minute to
check the veracity of that story and that she might have done the same.
I gave web pages and the message about not wasting resources. It was
in my usual abrupt style. I don't call names, but I don't waste words
either.


I would have thought she'd tell me she was glad I'd let her know or
maybe even apologize for her mistake, but I never heard a word. She did
take me off her mailing list. I haven't gotten a thing from her since,
no class or show information either. As with your niece, do you think I
offended her? Do you think we should care?


--Lia

  #30  
Old March 21st 04, 06:18 PM
Dr. Quilter
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My God Diana, haven't you heard? Where do you live, woman?? Those are
the amazing stem-cell cloned kitties - kind of like the sea monkeys,
remember? You put the kitty seed in the bottle with a little bit of
sterile water and sugar (comes in the kit), and in 60 days you have this
wonderful kitten.. and you get to watch all the embrionic development,
that is a plus I bet her email didn't mention! The only problem is when
they get too big and start pressing against the glass and end up shaped
like the inside of the bottle.. at that point most nice people try to
break the bottle without harming them but it is hard, you know?!!!

Diana Curtis wrote:

How about just plain looking at the person with sadness and reluctance
saying, I hesitate giving out my address anymore. It seems so many people
just want to send me stale jokes and old storys, and no one wants to just
talk. That way the new emailer on your list knows youre not interested in
that stuff.
You could do what I did. My niece, a young woman of above average
intelligence, started sending me all sorts of silly pass around emails and I
put up with it for a while, family, you know, until the day she sent me a
petition to stop the horrendous practice of bonsia kittys, where they
ostensibly grow kittens inside of glass bottles. I politely asked her to use
her common sensometer before sending me any more of this type email. Hmm...
I havent heard from her since. Do you think I offended her?
Diana ;-)

--
Queen of FAQs
Royal Peace Maker
http://photos.yahoo.com/lunamom44

"Julia Altshuler" wrote in message
news:y_h7c.53843$_w.852505@attbi_s53...

I don't know if telling someone what sort of mail I want when I give out
the address would work. I suppose I could try it. I've been reluctant
to because there are people who write notes exactly the sort I want, old
and new friends I correspond with quite happily and with no complaints.
I wouldn't want to assume they'll put me on a mailing list without
first giving them a chance to prove otherwise.


--Lia





--
Dr. Quilter
Ambassador of Extraordinary Aliens
http://community.webshots.com/user/mvignali
(take the dog out before replying)

 




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