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OT Truths for Mature Humans- humor
Truths For Mature Humans
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! 24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. OK, Ladies.....Quit Laughing. |
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#2
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OT Truths for Mature Humans- humor
On Sep 14, 12:54*pm, "Leslie& The Furbabies in MO."
wrote: *Truths For Mature Humans * 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. * 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. * 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. * 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. * 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? * 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? * 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. * 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. * 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? *I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. *I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! 24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. * * * * OK, Ladies.....Quit Laughing. My personal favorites are #19 and #24. Kim in NJ |
#3
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OT Truths for Mature Humans- humor
Polly Esther wrote:
I can answer #5. Fitted sheets do not have to be folded. You just mush them into a reasonably flat hunk, wrap it firmly with the flat sheet and pillowcases and move on to something important. Some things are Not worth doing right. Don't tell Momma. Polly Alternative answer to #5: I restrict myself to one set of sheets. Strip, wash and dry all in the same day. No folding of the fitted sheet necessary. Flat sheet is folded only enough to provide a centering line. Fast and easy. Rita - being lazy works for me :-) -- Rita L. in MA One Eyed Mutant Ninja Quilter :-) |
#4
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OT Truths for Mature Humans- humor
On Sep 14, 2:17*pm, "Polly Esther" wrote:
I can answer #5. *Fitted sheets do not have to be folded. *You just mush them into a reasonably flat hunk, wrap it firmly with the flat sheet and pillowcases and move on to something important. *Some things are Not worth doing right. *Don't tell Momma. *Polly *5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? Martha can show you how to fold fitted sheets. ;-) I never have any trouble folding them. You just have to make a fold out of the width taken up by the corners.... *6. Was learning cursive really necessary? *7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. Amen. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that swear I did not make any changes to. Isn't that annoying? I hate Word. N. |
#5
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OT Truths for Mature Humans- humor
i'll try to read thru the rest later when i'm fully awake.
i got to #8. sometimes the newspaper is forbidden by law to say what the cause of death was. j. "Leslie& The Furbabies in MO." wrote ... Truths For Mature Humans 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! 24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. OK, Ladies.....Quit Laughing. |
#6
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OT Truths for Mature Humans- humor
No folding needed if you take it from the dryer or the line and put it
right back on the bed... Julia in MN On 9/14/2010 2:17 PM, Polly Esther wrote: I can answer #5. Fitted sheets do not have to be folded. You just mush them into a reasonably flat hunk, wrap it firmly with the flat sheet and pillowcases and move on to something important. Some things are Not worth doing right. Don't tell Momma. Polly "Leslie& The Furbabies in MO." wrote in message ... Truths For Mature Humans 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! 24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. OK, Ladies.....Quit Laughing. -- ----------- This message has been scanned for viruses by Norton Anti-Virus http://webpages.charter.net/jaccola/default.html ----------- |
#7
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OT Truths for Mature Humans- humor
That's what I do. LOL
On 9/14/2010 9:59 PM, Julia in MN wrote: No folding needed if you take it from the dryer or the line and put it right back on the bed... Julia in MN On 9/14/2010 2:17 PM, Polly Esther wrote: I can answer #5. Fitted sheets do not have to be folded. You just mush them into a reasonably flat hunk, wrap it firmly with the flat sheet and pillowcases and move on to something important. Some things are Not -- Denny in Fort Wayne http://community.webshots.com/user/kiteflyer54 /\ / \ / \ \ / \ / \/ \ \ / \ \ / \ |
#8
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OT Truths for Mature Humans- humor
Can't remember the last time I folded sheets, or wrote in classic
cursive, which isn't being taught in school anymore because somebody caught on that it really isn't necessary. #24 -- I have two sons and a husband. Nothing else needs to be said. #1 goes without saying. #14 is the most lovely bit of painful truth I've ever seen written. The rest, I laughed until I couldn't remember who actually posted the thread. I read the one about looking at your watch. And then read it again. Then I looked at the top of the thread and still forgot by the time I scrolled back down here who started the thread. Whoever you are, thanks very much. This is fun. Sunny still snickering madly |
#9
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OT Truths for Mature Humans- humor
Can we talk about #17? We can't always travel with Clint Eastwood wanting
someone to 'make his day'. The nearest town has been having murder trials for the last 2 years because someone going to a grandson's football game stopped to ask for directions. NOBODY local would have stopped in that area. The Google maps also need to include sensible warnings like 'arrive before dark' and 'wait for escort before leaving vehicle'. Especially here in the Swamp. Polly 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. |
#10
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OT Truths for Mature Humans- humor
Nice list.
6. Was learning cursive really necessary? Yes. It's the best way to express oneself after hitting your thumb with a hammer (or stitching oneself to a quilt). 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. If/when it comes at breakfast, do you still have to go? 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. Kay: "This is gonna replace CD's soon; guess I'll have to buy the White Album again..." 19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? What? OK, Ladies..... I'll ignore that. Doc On Sep 14, 12:54*pm, "Leslie& The Furbabies in MO." wrote: *Truths For Mature Humans |
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