OT - Please Help Ladies!! Restroom Etiquette - Your Opinions Needed!!

OK, so to make this a bit OT, I was away this weekend at a quilting retreat
(Had a GREAT TIME btw!) and the following item came up between DH & I. We
have a 3yo DD and twin 7yo DS and our DD had to use the public restroom at
McD's. DH took her into the men's room, which I found really gross, not only
because the men's rooms are, generally, filthy, but I don't want her exposed
(no pun intended) to strangers using the facilities. I felt he should be
taking her into the women's rooms, whenever a single use or family restroom
is not available. She is not old enough to go unattended and, after all, I
take the boys, now 7, into the women's with me. A lengthy discussion has
ensued, so I'm seeking the opinions of follow females, as many as possible,
on the following issues:
1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?
2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with dads/daughters,
how did you address it?
3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children, say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?
No flames please, I'm just trying to get a cross section of opinions from
various ages, w/ and w/o children, etc.
TIA
Lorraine in Los Alamos

Here's my take on it. (Just my opinion everyone, so put away the flame
throwers! Sheesh!!)

1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter
into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?

You know, I've never thought about this or seen it happen. Can't really say
what I'd think. I'm sure the problem also comes up when a elderly person (or
a disabled person) has a caregiver of the opposite sex. Hmmm.....

2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with
dads/daughters,
how did you address it?

I can't remember how it was addressed when I was a wee one. I lived with my
Dad for 3 months every year, and I'm sure I had to use a restroom at some
point, but I can't remember ever being accompanied. I know I didn't go into
the men's room, because the very first time I was in a men's room was on my
honeymoon. (Yes, there's a story behind that!) Of course, I can't remember
being accompanied by MSM, either, except at the airport way back when they
had pay toilets. (Bless you, March Fong Eu!)

3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little
boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children, say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?

None at all. As long as I have enough privacy to do what I need to do, I'm a
happy camper.

--
Kathy A. (Woodland, CA)
longarm machine quilting, Queen of Fabric Tramps
http://www.kayneyquilting.com ,
remove the obvious to reply

In article , Kathy
Applebaum writes
You know, I've never thought about this or seen it happen. Can't really say
what I'd think. I'm sure the problem also comes up when a elderly person (or
a disabled person) has a caregiver of the opposite sex. Hmmm.....


I am, at present, somewhat dependent on a wheelchair, and my husband has
been pushing my chair around France, on holiday, for three weeks.

He didn't hesitate to take me into the ladies' loos and no-one at all
raised an eyebrow.
--
Marie Lewis

Marie Lewis wrote:

In article , Kathy
Applebaum writes
You know, I've never thought about this or seen it happen. Can't really say
what I'd think. I'm sure the problem also comes up when a elderly person (or
a disabled person) has a caregiver of the opposite sex. Hmmm.....

I am, at present, somewhat dependent on a wheelchair, and my husband has
been pushing my chair around France, on holiday, for three weeks.

He didn't hesitate to take me into the ladies' loos and no-one at all
raised an eyebrow.
--
Marie Lewis

France is different: lots of the loos there are 'co-ed' anyway.
--
Kate XXXXXX
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

In article , Kate Dicey
writes
Marie Lewis wrote:

In article , Kathy
Applebaum writes
You know, I've never thought about this or seen it happen. Can't really say
what I'd think. I'm sure the problem also comes up when a elderly person (or
a disabled person) has a caregiver of the opposite sex. Hmmm.....

I am, at present, somewhat dependent on a wheelchair, and my husband has
been pushing my chair around France, on holiday, for three weeks.

He didn't hesitate to take me into the ladies' loos and no-one at all
raised an eyebrow.
--
Marie Lewis

France is different: lots of the loos there are 'co-ed' anyway.


But he would have to do that in the UK, too.
--
Marie Lewis

Marie, sometimes I wonder why you deign to talk to us in the rest of the
world. France, France, France---yes dear, we get the message. Marie
and France are civilized--the rest are barbarians. RedQueen

On the topic of France, has anyone worked out how to use the loos at
motorway service stations in France? I mean the ones where you have to
squat down without falling in? I must admit to using the disabled loos as I
could see no way of performing the task without getting completely undressed
from the waist down! Yet, I saw the most elegantly dressed ladies emerging
from the cubicles without a ruffle! Do they teach them at school how to use
them?

Also on the topic of France, I find it a wonderful place, with families well
catered for (apart from service station loos!) and we are looking forward to
selling up and moving there next year!

In France we had this wonderful strong coffee with hot chocolate in it and
cinnamon and sugar....... I could do with one of those.

I'll get off my pedestal now (grin) and leave you all in peace! I'll try
not to bang the door on my way out!

A bientot
--
Janner

"Quite often lately I have the feeling I don't know what's going on..." ---
Snoopy!

"You have to have a Dream!"



"Marie Lewis" wrote in message
...
In article , Kate Dicey
writes
Marie Lewis wrote:

In article , Kathy
Applebaum writes
You know, I've never thought about this or seen it happen. Can't
really say
what I'd think. I'm sure the problem also comes up when a elderly
person (or
a disabled person) has a caregiver of the opposite sex. Hmmm.....

I am, at present, somewhat dependent on a wheelchair, and my husband
has
been pushing my chair around France, on holiday, for three weeks.

He didn't hesitate to take me into the ladies' loos and no-one at all
raised an eyebrow.
--
Marie Lewis

France is different: lots of the loos there are 'co-ed' anyway.


But he would have to do that in the UK, too.
--
Marie Lewis


---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.538 / Virus Database: 333 - Release Date: 10/11/2003

I believe at one time or another most parents come across this very same
problem in public rest rooms. When my girls were very little my now
ex would take them in with him only AFTER he checked to be sure there
was no one in the rest room. If there was he would wait. He also kept
a small note that he could attach on the door if necessary to say
'father taking daughter to the bathroom please wait 5 minutes for us to
complete her task.' He never ran into a problem using his little note.
He had a few men holler into the bathroom to see if it was 'safe' for
them to enter. But seems from what I was told everyone was respectful.
Since I didn't have any sons I can only relate to when I would take
friend's boys with me on an outing. Younger children would come in with
me to the ladies room. When the boys got to be around 8-9, I would wait
outside the door of the men room. If they weren't out in short order I
would yell in to them to see what was going on... if I didn't like the
response or I couldn't hear him I would not hesitate to yell out "MOTHER
COMING IN NOW!" In this day and age when you want to be able to give
our sons and daughters a bit of freedom it is so difficult. Close doors
never stopped me. And if another adult couldn't understand the needs of
the children to bad.
juliasb

TwinMom wrote:
OK, so to make this a bit OT, I was away this weekend at a quilting retreat
(Had a GREAT TIME btw!) and the following item came up between DH & I. We
have a 3yo DD and twin 7yo DS and our DD had to use the public restroom at
McD's. DH took her into the men's room, which I found really gross, not only
because the men's rooms are, generally, filthy, but I don't want her exposed
(no pun intended) to strangers using the facilities. I felt he should be
taking her into the women's rooms, whenever a single use or family restroom
is not available. She is not old enough to go unattended and, after all, I
take the boys, now 7, into the women's with me. A lengthy discussion has
ensued, so I'm seeking the opinions of follow females, as many as possible,
on the following issues:
1) How do you feel about a father accompanying his very young daughter into
the women's restroom to use the facilities? Would you feel threatened or
offended, or would you understand the situation?
2) If you, or your family has experienced this problem with dads/daughters,
how did you address it?
3) Not important, but I am starting to get "looks" at having my little boys
in the facilities with me. Do any of you take offense at boy children, say
under 10, in the woman's restroom with their mothers?
No flames please, I'm just trying to get a cross section of opinions from
various ages, w/ and w/o children, etc.
TIA
Lorraine in Los Alamos



--

Conductor of the Squish-mobile

....come and journey with me...
from darkness into New Life

http://globnet.com/~flair/

In article , "juliasb(nospam)"
writes
When my girls were very little my now ex would take them in with him
only AFTER he checked to be sure there was no one in the rest room. If
there was he would wait. He also kept a small note that he could
attach on the door if necessary to say 'father taking daughter to the
bathroom please wait 5 minutes for us to complete her task.'

Just as a matter of interest, why do Americans use euphemisms like "
rest room" and "bath room?"

No criticism intended: I am just interested.

To explain to those who do not know, the British term "loo" comes from
the old cry "Garde à l'eau", distorted to "Gardez-loo". This meant
"look out for the water" as people in earlier centuries emptied their
chamber pots into the street below!

We also use "toilet" (the usual term), "bog" (which is slightly
improper) "lavatory" which is incorrect, of course and other terms.
--
Marie Lewis

Marie Lewis wrote:

Just as a matter of interest, why do Americans use euphemisms like "
rest room" and "bath room?"

No criticism intended: I am just interested.

To explain to those who do not know, the British term "loo" comes from
the old cry "Garde à l'eau", distorted to "Gardez-loo". This meant
"look out for the water" as people in earlier centuries emptied their
chamber pots into the street below!

We also use "toilet" (the usual term), "bog" (which is slightly
improper) "lavatory" which is incorrect, of course and other terms.

The English also use euphemisms like W.C. or water closet, because
that's one of it's names. When private rooms for this purpose became
fashionable in the 16th century, they were refered to by the English as
"the room of ease" which is where rest room came from. The English also
called it the Chapel, because of the quiet contemplation that occurs
therein. There is some speculation that many of the so-called Priest
Holes installed in historic homes are refitted rooms for a close-stool.
(A close-stool is a wooden box designed to hold a chamberpot within and
be sat on comfortably. The lid is locked so only the owner can use it.)

Lavatory is correct, if you wash your hands.

Most Americans have a bath in the bathroom. We have other plumbing in
there too, but that's the origin of the name. It was a luxury to have a
separate room for a bath.

Personally, I kind of like the origin of Privy Counsel.

-georg
plumbing historian