My therapist had advised me to see how "poisonous" my mother was, so I could
protect myself from her head trips. Now that I can see what she does to
damage me, especial when she's being "helpful", I am able to see why she was
a poor mother, but also why she makes a neat friend for an adult. For
someone she doesn't hold power over. With reasonably good understanding of
how she operates and how she effects me, I am able to have a reasonably good
relationship with her.

Tina


"Diana Curtis" wrote in message
...
Dad and my mom divorced when I was 18. I knew him all my life. From what I
can see from the perspective of age he never knew me well except from the
veiw that I was a woman and the only woman I ever saw him treat
respectfully
was his mother. I also see a lot of emotional incest going on in my
childhood...and lots of discounting of my feelings, opinions, thoughts
and
ideas.
I know he wanted to be a history teacher but instead worked all his life
at a more lucrative job.
My sister tried till the day she died to get him to *see* her and my older
brother distanced himself from him, for similar reasons to mine. We just
couldnt handle the feeling that we were and always would be a huge
dissappointment to him.
I know I cant change him, talking to him would be pointless because he
would
hear the words but since he thinks the problem is me he wouldnt be
affected
by it. What I would like it to stop stewing about it. What a small thing
to
let ruin my days.... as with Kathy, there is one person who doesnt think
much of me and the rest of the world thinks Im ok. Why do I listen to the
old tapes and stew? Unproductive.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Diana

--
http://photos.yahoo.com/lunamom44

"Tante Lina" wrote in message
k.net...
Most of the time I think Im pretty neat. There are even those
people who are not family members who agree!

Oh I'm sure you are neat!

What are his circumstances? Sounds like there was a divorce in the
past?
Did he miss seeing you grow up? Is he happy with his accomplishments in
life?

* TL *