Karlee:

Not that I am anywhere close to "qualifying" to answer your question, being
a guy, but my jaw absolutely dropped when I read your post. Your mom is way
way way out of line as far as I can see it. It is completely your decision,
and only magnified by the many details that you bring up. Mom: NO MEANS
NO!

Stick to your guns, and best of luck!

--Dave



"Karlee in Kansas" wrote in message
...
Please don't label me as a horrible person for these things, but I would
like the input of anyone that has been a "new
mom" (even and especially if you have been said new mom more than once).

I had a little spat with my mom again. She is upset because the only
people that I will allow in the labor and delivery
room with me while I'm in the process of bringing Ellie into the world is
hospital staff (kept to a minimum....i.e. *no
interns or students) and my husband. I don't want everyone and their dog
stopping by to check on me and seeing me laid
out like a filleted fish. This includes my parents and his parents. (His
mom will be lucky if she gets within 5 miles
of the hospital) I have watched TLC enough to notice the sheer numbers of
people that enjoy watching a baby being born.
I understand that it is truly an amazing sight to see, but I don't really
feel like having the world look at my private
areas....cameras of all types have also been banned (for me at least)
during the birthing process. This is a personal
choice that I'm making here, and I understand that it does not bother some
people, but it bothers me.

Mom has her nose out of place because I told her that she and everyone
else can wait in the waiting room...I don't want
visitors. (*interns and students are part of the cause in how I almost
lost my life during my first experience with
child birth, and a couple of the student nurses I had during my labor were
MUCH less than professional...they giggled at
me when the attending CNM lifted the sheet to do an exam to see how far I
was dilated.) She thinks that everyone that
wants to visit me should be allowed to visit me, that I shouldn't have a
problem with people seeing my neither regions
during the labor process because, according to her, "the doctors and
nurses are going to be coming and going anyway, you
should be used to it."

Second sore spot with mom falls into the post delivery category. For my
duration in the hospital, I only want my kids
and husband in there. I don't want a parade of people. Its time for me,
baby, kidlet the first, and the new daddy. It
is my opinion that they can wait until we get settled at home before they
come visit.

Again, mom has her nose out of place on this one. She wants to be there
to hold Ellie hours after her birth like she
was for kidlet the first. I understand her want, but I am going to want
to rest and get acquainted with the baby
without a three-ring circus going on in the room (Labor is NOT an easy job
if memory serves me correctly). Last time I
was way groggy after the anesthetic and all people did was make noise and
make it near impossible to rest. Staff would
not ask them to leave after I requested that they do so.

The last sore spot with mom (and the biggest I might add) is the fact that
I am requesting surgical sterilization after
the birth. DH is going to get "fixed" as well. Both of us see how hard
pregnancy is on me and neither one of us want
to go through this again. (I have a habit of pre-term labor that is NOT a
barrel of monkeys) Both me and DH love and
adore children, but my risks of having harder and harder pregnancies
increase with each one (according to doc, who btw,
is supporting my desire to have a tubal). We agreed that if we want more
kids in the future, that we will adopt. (I,
for the record, am adopted so I don't understand her issue with this one)

Mom thinks that I will regret this decision and shouldn't do it.

Do you guys think that I should please the planet by letting people see me
in all my glory whilst I feel terribly
uncomfortable? Do you guys think that I should let the outside world turn
my hospital room into a major hub of
activity? Do you think that at 27, after major complications during
pregnancy, labor, and delivery, and two kids, that
I should reconsider my choice to be sterilized?

Opinions are being requested, but flames are not. I'm getting enough heat
from my mom on these topics to last a
lifetime.

TIA,
Karlee in Kansas
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